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Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 15

Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 15

Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 15

Welcome to Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 15. You can’t always play it safe. Sometimes those things with really long odds actually happen.
I was just standing there, on a hot and muggy summer’s night, minding my own business. Wet and naked. Just me and one other guy. I never did catch his name. Which seems strange to me now I think about it. Especially given that he was wet and naked too. Anyway, there we were, the sole occupants of a large outdoors communal shower block in a summer camp in Massachusetts. The young campers were tucked up in bed and another counselor and I were showering after using the gym. It was about 9pm at night and it was raining like I had never seen before. Think UK storms, multiplied by 100. Crazy rain.

After hearing several warnings that the kids at camp like to use the shower block as a toilet, my fellow showerer had opted to purchase a rather snazzy pair of flip flops. His were going to be some piss free feet. I on the other hand, full of Scottish heritage, had decided that my pennies would be better saved for a rainy day. Just not this particular rainy day. But with no kids to worry about, my feet felt safe to roam the shower block free of spongey shackles. Why bother with flip flops if the kids aren’t around to turn the water yellow? In the current situation, what purpose could flip flops possibly serve?!

And then the lightning struck.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to have played this game. You know the one, where you sneak up behind someone and jab them precisely behind the knee and watch them involuntarily buckle under their own weight. Just me? Try it. It’s fun. Anyway, that’s what it felt like. Except it felt like someone had jabbed me behind both knees, at the same time, with a pool cue. I was outraged. Why the hell would a naked man jab another naked man behind both knees, with a pool cue, whilst standing in a shower?! And why did he even have a pool cue in the shower?! [Note to self: Approach retailers with new idea for waterproof pool table]. I turned to face my attacker. “What the hell did you do that for?” I shouted, not even noticing that he had somehow hidden the pool cue from view. (Not a euphemism).

“What are you talking about?” he retorted. Apparently confused by my angry wet naked tone of voice. “You were in that shower” he continued, pointing at the now empty shower, complete with my shower gel sitting in the wonderfully convenient shower-gel-holding-mini-basket, “and now you’re in that shower”, pointing to my new home, a full 6 feet from my starting point. “I think we were struck by lightning! You flew through the air! I think we should get out of here!”

So we grabbed our towels and legged it outside, across the wet grass, through the rain and into the safety of our respective cabins. Turns out, the large puddle of ground water just outside the shower block had indeed been struck by lightning. The current had travelled through the pipes and out of the showers. Shaken up and suffering from what felt like permanent pins and needles, I was taken to the hospital where a doctor explained that if I had been wearing flip flops I wouldn’t have been grounded by the current and would’ve been fine. Just like that smug dude who was in there with me. Who knew eh? Flip flops are piss protectors AND a safeguard against lightning strikes!?!

On the plus side, for me at least, the doc expressed relief that I wasn’t in direct contact with the metal shower tap at the time of the strike. Apparently that could’ve resulted in you reading someone else’s waffle today instead of mine. So, where was i? Oh yeah, sometimes those things with really long odds actually happen. So will you adorn your flip flops and captain Sanchez this week? Or maybe you want to run naked barefoot through the shower block with Sadio Mane?

Pick one: Alexis Sanchez (Arsenal) home vs Stoke. Captain safety rating: Two flip flops.
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[/three_fifth]Definitely the safest pick of the week for the 29.5% of you who already own him, or for the thousands who will be frantically rebalancing their budgets to bring him in before the deadline.
There is no denying he is the man in form. Five goals and an assist in his last two games is not a run rate he’ll likely keep up for much longer, but there is no hotter property in the league for now.
Opposition wise, Stoke are having a decent time of it so far this season, sitting in 9th spot in the league and have fared better away than at home so far. They will face a real test against Arsenal though. With 10 goals scored in their last 4 PL games, Arsenal will fancy at least a repeat of last year’s 2-0 win and have a fantastic record vs Stoke, at least at home where they have won all eight Premier League meetings vs the Potters.

Pick two: Diego Costa and Eden Hazard (Chelsea) home vs WBA. Captain safety rating: One and a half flip flops.
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[/three_fifth]First up, Costa. I hate him. I hate his attitude. I hate his face. But most of all, I hate that since that 4th booking in Week 6, I have been too scared to transfer him into my team. Since the FPL movement known as “You’re an idiot if you transfer him in now. Don’t you know he’s only one booking away from a ban?!” started, monkey face has only had two games where he failed to either score or pick up an assist. Two! Since the movement started, he has scored six goals, assisted four times, and earned 13 bonus points! And like the Yaya/Bale/Sanchez/Ramsey-deniers of yesteryear, we’ve told ourselves “it’ll never last” or in this case; “he’ll get booked the first week I bring him in”. He’s a changed man. He’s a safe bet to transfer in and captain. Ok? No, you first.

Next up, Hazard. Just the one goal in his last three EPL games, but another player who has got his mojo back under new management. Plus he scored five in the four games prior to his recent mini lean spell, so it’s not a stretch to imagine him adding to his tally against 7th placed Albion.

Finally, for those of you lovers of a gamble… What if I told you there was a Chelsea player that has scored in each of his last two games against WBA? And what if I told you that goalscoring mastermind also benefitted from clean sheet points?! Step forward Mr Azpilicueta. Could lightning strike three times? Sorry. I promised myself I would resist cheesy lightning puns.

Pick three: Christian Benteke (Crystal Palace) away vs Hull. Captain safety rating: One ill-fitting flip flop.
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[/three_fifth]Palace are struggling in the league and have an absolute lemon for a manager. But despite that, they are scoring goals and have an in-form striker. And really, in fantasy, that’s all we care about.

Palace have only been outscored by the league’s top four teams (24 goals scored so far this season), and their talisman striker has four goals in the last four games all to himself. Or to be even more impressive; three goals, an assist and four bonus points in his last two games.

Benteke and his Palace teammates come up against a Hull side languishing second bottom in the league and with the league’s second worst defense. It’s an away game for Palace, and their form hasn’t been great. But after that rare win last time out against Southampton, you never know. Maybe lightning can strike… er… Sorry.

Pick four: Sadio Mane (Liverpool) home vs West Ham. Captain safety rating: No flips flops. Balls out. Running through the shower. In a storm.
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[/three_fifth]It’s always a bit of a lottery picking a Liverpool midfielder for the armband. They spread the points around so much it’s hard to tell who’s going to be hot from one week to the next. To complicate matters further, at time of writing, the FPL game has Mane yellow flagged with a 75% chance of playing. Keep an eye on the tips article later this week to see if Mane appears in a bold font. If not, tweet Cookie on Friday night to get the latest from the team press conference.

Picking Mane as captain is certainly not for those who like to play it safe. As reflected in his extreme (and now patented) Captaincy Safety Rating, measured as always, in flip flops. (It’s not going to catch on is it?) Mane scored last week, but hasn’t managed to score in consecutive games so far this season. On the flip side, Mane has only blanked (not been involved in a goal or assist) in two of the last six games played. So as far as a long shot goes, maybe that’s not too bad after all.

Of the four games he did get involved, Mane scored four times and assisted three. He now has the pleasure of taking on leaky West Ham who shipped five goals at home last week to Arsenal, and Liverpool themselves are averaging just under three goals scored per game in the last six weeks. It could be worth the risk.

Good luck to everyone this week. I will be resorting to desperate tactics to try and break into that exclusive club known in some circles as “The Top 1.6mln”. Captain Mane for me.

Thanks for reading Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 15. This article was written by Chins and Bellies


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Fixture Tracker – the next 6 games

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83 Comments

  1. 13
    inittowinit says:

    Many thanks for this Chins, I know it’s been up a while but I’ve only just finished reading that intro smile

    Sanchez or Costa for me this week.

  2. 14
    inittowinit says:

    Right then, while it’s unusually quiet, what should I do with this lot?

    Two questions really – transfers and subsequent set up for the week. As it stands now I fancy replacing Kun with Costa given that I have zero Chelsea cover and I could just afford Gun to Siggy too, but for a -4.

    Any suggestions welcomed.

    • 14.1
      Andy says:

      Enjoy the quiet before next weeks storm mate, first mid week game of the season is incoming which is strange waiting this long for it, I fancy Gundogan to start this weekend so I’d probably just do the Kun Costa move, I’m not sure if Siggy will jump up or not before the deadline though which would price you out next week, you can make the call on that as I’ve been well off with my hit recommendations for other people lately.

    • 14.2
      SAFs_hairdryer says:

      Hi Innit, seeing as you said you’d have Sanchez or Costa as capo in your previous post I think you already know you’re gonna get Costa. Like Chins said, he will get banned sooner or later but Kun’s had 2 reds already this season and Costa is bang in form. Siggy is a good shout too. I have both and the only other option I see is Son for the 2 weeks after this one.

      Also I’d definitely have McAuley sat in 3rd on the bench

    • 14.3
      Red Robbo says:

      Another option is Kun>Iheanacho this week then bring in Hazard next week (or this week for a hit given their fixture). Depends really on whether you will be bringing Kun back in, and when you reckon Costa will pick up that next yellow

      • inittowinit says:

        That’s definitely another one to look at too. I wasn’t actually impressed with Iheanacho when he came on at the weekend but it was a difficult one to come into plus Kun was still on the pitch and was basically occupying his usual position but his stats are great – 18 starts, 13 goals, 5 assists. Decisions, decisions!

        • lukealike says:

          I went with Origi for my budget super striker with limited minutes 😛
          I normally go Kelechi but gone with Origi this time round, I think trouble is brewing at City :/

    • 14.4
      captain-kingpin says:

      Simply put, you need some Chelsea coverage. I’d just go Kun to Costa.
      In the long-term I’d also downgrade Mustafi to a 4.5m defender to free up funds elsewhere.

  3. 15
    SAFs_hairdryer says:

    Great read Chins. Who ever knew that showers outside of prison could be so dangerous!

    Any tinkering needed with this lot?

  4. 16

    Little bit annoying to see Spurs go with a full strength team but I guess they’re gonna go for the Europa spot. Just hope Kane and company make it through unscathed.

  5. 17
    Kop Warrior says:

    Chins you crazy b*****d smile

    That was quite the intro. The picks themselves weren’t bad either!

    I’d love to have Sanchez to capo him this week but it will probably be Hazard for me.

  6. 18
    Mitro says:

    Evening all!

    Any ideas on what I should be doing with this lot? I have 0FT & 2.1 ITB

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