Fantasy Football Fixtures Game-week 32

Fantasy Football Fixtures Game-week 32

What was I to do? The wife was going to be out of town all week, leaving me at home with our two young boys. I was housebound for a whole week of evenings and I needed a plan. So I made a list. Idea number one – “Buy a workout DVD”. Maybe one of those intense P90X ones. Yeah, that’d be great I thought. I could lose a load of flab, and maybe even rediscover a noticeable boundary between my chin and my neck. But wait. What was I thinking? I live in Texas, and so even at an “obese” BMI by UK standards, I was still the skinny one in my new home. Yep. Exercise could wait. I needed to be more creative…

Idea number two – “Write a book”. In a week? Ok, too ambitious. “Read a book”. In a week? Good point, I’m too slow a reader and continually have to reread pages due to my lack of a short term memory. “Read a book” In a week? Wait. Have I said that already? “Watch a TV series”. In a week? No, I fall asleep too easily. “I know!”, I finally typed, “I could see if my friends at FF247 need a break from writing, and maybe I could fill in”. Yeah, great idea. I could do Captains Picks again. Find a random subject to waffle on about for a few paragraphs, then hit ‘em with my randomly generated captains suggestions, supported by some made-up stats. (97% of people never even check to see if quoted stats are real or made up). It’d be great. So that’s what I did. And here we are. (Idea number three was to play out an entire World Cup – including qualifying rounds – with Subbuteo. So that’ll have to wait for now. )

So… Not ‘Captains Picks’ – those of you still paying attention will have already noticed – but ‘Fixtures’. Wow. One of the flagship weekly articles. With NiN sized shoes to fill too. Exciting times! And then I looked at the fixture tracker. Shit. Loads of decent teams have nice fixtures. A load of teams play four times, and two teams play five times! In three frikkin game weeks. Ridiculous. How was I ever going to compare one team’s fixtures to another?! How does a crap team playing five times compare to a great team playing three times in the same number of game weeks?! Now I see why NiN was so keen to take a week off. The fecker.

And then I remembered. I’m the guy that survived a whole day in a parallel FF247 universe, on my own. I’ve been struck by lightning and survived (obviously). I’m capable of waffling for an entire… wait for it…. nearly there… BOOM!… an entire page of A4 in size 14 font without really saying anything other than that I’ll be writing the article this week. Which was probably apparent by my name being at the bottom of the page. Yep. I can do ANYTHING!! So let’s set about proving it….

Favourable fixtures:

Everton – Man Utd (A), Watford (A), Palace (A), Southampton (H), Liverpool (A)
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[/three_fourth]We simply had to start with Everton. Despite the fact they are floating in mid table obscurity (12th in the league) with only three wins in their last ten games, and the added distraction of a FA Cup Semi Final, they play five times in the next three game weeks (as those of you planning a wildcard are no doubt already aware) and that was just too much to ignore. On a point’s per game basis, Everton’s leaders of Barkley and Lukaku are both top 10 for their position. Multiply that by five games and you’d be hard pushed to beat it from a team playing three or even four times.

It’s also worth noting, so I will, that only one of Everton’s five games are to be played at home. That shouldn’t put you off. On the contrary. The Toffee’s home form this season has been nothing short of atrocious. Only one home win against a team outside of the bottom three (versus Chelsea, in September!) and they’ve lost four of their last five in front of their own fans.

The five game marathon starts with a trip to Old Trafford to face a team that beat them 3-0 in the reverse fixture earlier in the season, but a United team that are also facing a period of fixture congestion themselves. This is the only game Everton play in GWK32. After that, it’s back to back doubles.

The GWK33 double starts with a trip to play Watford. A team who, virtually safe from relegation with an FA cup distraction looming, should present a great opportunity for goals and a win. Watford have only one league win in their last five (skillfully ignoring mention of their win against my Arsenal in the cup) although they did manage a 2-2 draw when these sides met in the season opener back in August. It’s although worth pointing out that this match comes immediately after Watford play Arsenal in the league. A game that will surely see Arsenal completely batter the hornets as revenge for the FA cup embarrassment.

Yep. This will be a thoroughly demoralized Watford side by time Everton get their hands on them. #calledit

After seeing off Watford, Everton travel to Selhurst Park to play Lord Pardew’s Palace. The only team in the league with zero wins in their last ten games. Surely an Everton win to finish off the DGW.

GWK34 consists of a home game against Southampton and a derby match against Liverpool. Not easy games by any stretch, but Everton did put three goals past Southampton in the reverse fixture (Lukaku scoring twice) and drew the previous Merseyside derby at Goodison park (Lukaku on the scoresheet again).

Just play the law of averages. They’re gonna get it right at least once in five games.

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Manchester City – Bournemouth (A), WBA (H), Chelsea (A), Newcastle (A)
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[/three_fourth]Only the four games for City in the next three GWKs. But before you rejoice at the thought of those fresh city legs, wait. Firstly, because you should never rejoice at the thought of a footballers legs, no matter how fresh they are. But mainly because they won’t be all that fresh. City play PSG twice in this stretch, meaning six games in an 18 day period. Ouch.

Add to that, the thought that City have only one win in their last six league games (including a recent loss to their Mancunian neighbours) and you’ll start to wonder why they’ve even made the Favourable fixture list. Well let me explain…

City need to get back to winning ways, and fast. They now have no cushion between themselves and the chasing pack for that 4th champions league spot. They also have the FPL advantage of not having a blank in GWK35, and play against some fairly average teams before then. If you take City’s next four games and add together the scores from the respective reverse fixtures, City come out on top with a ridiculous winning score of 17 -2. #DaretocaptainKun

The only game that they should have any concern over, is the away match against Chelsea to start their DGW in GWK34 (which falls four days after the second leg against PSG). The others; away to Bournemouth, home to WBA and away to Newcastle should all present Kun and Co the chance to get back to winning ways in style.

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Manchester United – Everton (H), Spuds (A), Villa (H), Palace (H)
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[/three_fourth]Buoyant from their win over City, United enter into the next four games / three game weeks knowing that a return to Champions league football is within reach.

Complicated by their run in the FA cup, and a difficult match up against the inform Hammers, United need to navigate five games in an 18 day stretch. They might even need to rotate their squad to the point Fellani gets another day release.

The run of games starts with a home tie against the aforementioned Everton, who they swept aside 3-0 in the game earlier this season at Goodison. Next up is a tough encounter with the Spurs, who surely must be getting close to the point of the season where they remember who they are and start losing games for no apparent reason. I can dream.

The double game week in GWK34 sees possibly the most attractive set of fixtures available. Home ties against Championship bound Villa, and the free falling Palace. If Rashford gets his homework done on time, he’ll be licking his prepubescent lips about that one.

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Arsenal – Watford (H), West Ham (A), Palace (H), WBA (H)
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[/three_fourth]Another team with some decent match ups and a DGW in week 34. My Goonies were back to winning ways last time out against Init’s Toffees’ and need to be targeting a big points haul over their next four games if they are to stay clear of the scrap for their 4th place trophy.

A revenge mission at home against Watford kicks things off in a 3 game week period that see’s the-only-team-in-North-London play four times. Something close to a repeat of the 3-0 demolition job at Vicarage road will be expected there, before a second London derby revenge mission in a row when Arsenal travel to the shitty east end to match up against an in form West Ham team that beat them 2-0 earlier in the season.

The DGW34 see’s perhaps the second juiciest set of match ups available, with home ties against Palace and WBA. Now, clearly Tips aren’t my thing. But… If Giroud can get his starting place back at some point then he might be worthy of your consideration. He’s already scored against Watford, Palace and WBA this season.

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Teams worthy of a mention:

Liverpool – Spuds (H), Stoke (H), Bournemouth (A), Everton (H)

I thought about including Liverpool in the “Favourable fixtures” section, but in the end couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. Clearly the games against Stoke and Bournemouth are nice match ups, but the Spurs game will be tough, and even with the FA Cup distraction, the Mersyside derbies are always tight affairs. Add to that the fact that it’s late, and by tagging Liverpool on as an afterthought means that I don’t need to go through each of their fixtures in turn. Plus, leaving them out might upset Kop and Elleffcee. So really, it’s a win win win.

Crystal Palace – West Ham (A), Norwich (H), Everton (H), Arsenal (A), Man Utd (A)

Yes, Palace are crap. Yes, they play some tough teams. But they play five times. Five! That’s a lot of opportunities. A lot of consolation goals. Probably a lot of defeats, so maybe steer clear of their defenders. But surely, a punt on a Bolasie or a Cabaye or a Wickham isn’t too out of the question? It is? Fine. Do what you want.

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“Be wary of” (Avoid):

Norwich and Aston Villa – It (H), doesn’t matter (A) cos (H), they’re crap (A)

Honestly. If you need this article to warn you off players from these two teams, it’s too late for you. Go into your garden. Dig a hole. Sit in the hole. Wait for winter to take you.

West Ham – Palace (H), Arsenal (H), Leicester (A), Watford (H)

Ok, I’m not saying they aren’t going to score well over the next few game weeks. I’m just advising a note of caution before jumping in on a high flying team with a DGW. In between the apparent walk-overs of Palace and Watford, they have the much more challenging Arsenal and Leicester. Both teams fully focused on chasing a big finish to the season.

Incidentally, those walk-over victories might not be quite as straight forward as it seems… West Ham struggled to overcome Palace at Selhurst Park despite playing against 10 men for the entire second half. Eventually running out 3-1 winners thanks to two late goals. And they lost 2-0 last time out against Watford. They also have a blank coming up in GWK35. Be warned.

Southampton – Leicester (A), Newcastle (H), Everton (A)

No double game weeks. Two tough fixtures either side of adding another nail to the barcodes coffin. Do yourself a favour and leave them alone for now.

Bournemouth – Man City (H), Villa (A), Liverpool (H), Chelsea (H)

Looking at those fixtures, and especially given so many of you will be activating wildcards and playing BB chips over the coming weeks, you might be better shopping for your bench fodder elsewhere.

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One week wonder: Are you frikkin kidding me?! Now is not a time for crazy splurges on one week wonders. Now is a time for careful planning and strategic thinking. Maybe, dare I say it, a spreadsheet?

Good luck all.

The Tracker…

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Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Fixtures Game-week 32 – Fantasy Premier League 2015-16. This article was written by Chins and Bellies

Follow @chinsandbellies

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