Hi all and welcome back to Banterbury HQ, aka The Nut House. As CEO of the Banterbury FA, I decided to go shopping in this January transfer window or January sales whichever way you wish to view it, and I have brought in two brothers from another mother, to help me cover our prestigious shield competition (our version of the champions league) which got under way this game-week. I hear you ask who are these stellar signings, Drum Roll Please …….. I give to you ….. Mito & Potty, The Chuckle Brothers!! Only joking fellas, thanks to both of you and welcome aboard the good ship Banterbury. Mito will cover groups 1 & 2 and Potty groups 3 & 4. Right without further ado let me take you round the leagues firstly and as ever we start with the Premier….
Premier
Cookie’s Monsters strolls on with his pursuit of the title, recording his 17th win in 21 games ,but still can’t seem to shake off Arsene’s Boys who has himself won 11 out of his last 13 and sits 2nd, just 3 points behind Cookie. Moving up to 3rd are Bocadillo Allstars who just missed out on Shield Qualification but have won their last 6. Dropping to 4th are last seasons champions Park Bench Exports who were beaten by bottom club The Mutts Nuts, leaving him 6 points behind the leader. Pork n Cheese United stay 5th after a defeat and are now 8 points away from the top 4. Where’s The Dosh? & Reubens Rioters stay 6th & 7th having both also tasted defeat. PUT THE OLD DOG DOWN move up to 8th and at the Bottom a massive win for THE MUTTS NUTS as mentioned above, only his second of the season. Trust Mutts luck though, as the two other teams in the bottom 3 with him last week TheKopKnightRISES & Prutsers; allemaal both won also, meaning he does not gain any ground & both those other teams climb out of the relegation places. Prutsers victory over Kop Warriors 63-61 puts Kop back in trouble in 18th and the other side to drop into the bottom 3 was Kojak’s Fireball. 14th to 19th place are separated by just 3 points.
Championship
James 101 in 1st & Gallowgators in 2nd open up a bit of a lead over the chasing pack ,will these two now push on and make it a two horse title race or will the rest haul them back in? Moving up to 3rd are Shylass @ the finish, dropping to 4th are One Under Parr. Also moving up despite defeat we have Son of a Pitch, now 5th. WhoIsRonaldo sit 6th and elleffcee 7th both losing. One time leader Real Morbid move up to 8th while Mito drops a place to 9th after a narrow 72-71 defeat to 10th place Buzzilona. In the bottom half there were big wins for FC Tom Tomsk in 13th & The Reds in 14th although both are very much in the battle to survive. There was also a much needed win for Balotellibubbies and they climb 2 places and out of the drop zone ,meaning that Soap Powder Thieves fall into the bottom 3. The Gallant Pioneers stay 19th, Pathético Morbid still hold up the rest though in the Championship. We seem to be developing a mini league at the bottom where it is all very tight.
League 1
Monty (Caz Daz) in 1st & CFC(Awesome) in 2nd both move on to 45pts and open a 6 point lead over 3rd place DavesRedDevils who lost. Back into the top 4 are Powerful Potty FC ending his 8 game losing streak. we love manchester drop to 5th after losing a high scoring contest against fellow shielder CFC 80-78 . Fergie’s Henchmen 6th, Ajax Trees 7th and BRYAN MUNICH FC 8th will all have their eyes on promotion and are now only 2pts off achieving that dream. Inittowinit*** are 9th and defeat to Potty now sees him 5pts adrift of of the top 8. At the bottom The Flying Indian is 17th and although still in the bottom 3 they are starting to make a fist of it, winning 3 of their last 5. The SpecialOne lose and are now 8 points from safety. Nifty’s Hotshots goes back to his old-ways losing 62-59, his 17th defeat in 18 games after a morale boosting win last game-week!
League 2
Top placed 4th Place Trophy lost to 2nd from bottom Bryan Munich to show that every week in all 4 Banterbury leagues are a real challenge and goes to prove that we are the best H2H FPL league in the world! ChorleyRocks beat 4th from bottom Arsene’s Profit by just 4 points to prove my point that every game-week it can go down to the wire. Sitting 3rd are White Boys Day who had a massive shield win. Norfulk-in-chance stay 4th, again and I feel the need to big up Prata who is up to 7th after being bottom for a long time and was still in the bottom 3 when he made a bet with Bring onthe Trumpets which he cashed in this game-week, and saw him triumph by just 4pts in their H2H meet this game-week. I also have a lot off of respect for Demise aka Bring onthe Trumpets for honouring his bet, well done!
Banterbury Shield
Shield Group 1 Results
Brought to you by Mito….
Cookie’s Monsters 76 vs ChorleyRocks 71. In this first encounter the odds on favourite in the group Cookie, known in other circles as “ Blue Sexy “ jumped to the top of the leader board with a tough and critical 3 points. The “Group of Death“ is out of the gates and Cookie is already showing that he is not just another pretty face. This never in doubt result puts him ahead in the group along with the surprise winner in the other H2H, Potty.
Powerful Potty FC 90 vs James101 (Butler) 69. In a shocking win, not because of the win, but the fact that a “Butler“ was even let into this prestigious shield competition, Potty was able to score a whopping 90 points in his first encounter. He swore to anyone and everyone who would listen, that the insult of being picked to finish last in the group would be cause for him to inflict a great deal of pain on his shield opponents. Of course…he took out his pain on the help, how hard can it really be?! Great going James, I see you have already started by serving up 3 easy points to the competition! Oh well, at least the Butler got 69, which is always an entertaining way to go down.
Game-week 22 Fixtures
Powerful Potty FC v Cookie’s Monsters, ChorleyRocks v James101
Shield Group 2 Results
GallowGators (Wizard of Newcastle) 77 vs Where’s The Dosh? (John) 41. This group kicked off with a match up between the “Wizard of Newcastle“ Gallow, against John who apparently took the GW off judging by his measly 41 points. The Wizard showed why I picked him to win the group. He absolutely lambasted John to the point of making him cry Uncle. The 36 point defeat only left one question to ask of John……WTF was that?!
CFC (Awesome) 80 vs White Boys Day (Drexl) 84. In easily the highest scoring tilt of the groups that I care about in the Shield, we had the tough luck loser CFC drop a heart breaker to Drexl. But what this H2H will be remembered for is the fact that neither CFC nor Drexl took a hit in the GW. What an interesting twist from these two professional hit takers. Don’t let it ever happen again…Hits, Hits and more Hits is what’s expected, so don’t disappoint me again!! #Pathetic
Game-week 22 Fixtures
White Boys Day v GallowGators , CFC (Awesome) v Where’s The Dosh?
Shield Group 3 Results
Hi Everyone its Potty,
After my sacking last Summer from Playboys R Us Monthly Magazine I have now been re-employed by Bench and his Banterbury Empire to review the 1st Round Matches in his Banterbury Shield Competition of Groups 3 & 4, here goes
Monty CAZ Daz = 75 v 71 = Who’s Ronaldo.
In a tight affair that swung one way then the other Montys League 1 side triumphed over Who’s Ronaldo by a 4pt margin.
Ronaldo’s Championship clowns were let down by Chester and Ozil as Monty’s inclusion of Lallana proved pivotal, no Samba dancing this week for Who’s Ronaldo.
Norfolk in Chance = 74 v 76 = Arsene’s Boys.
What can we say regarding this tear up? Points make prizes and the 2pts that won this tie for Arsene’s Boys lands them Top slot in Group 3.
Norfolk’s defence, which included Walker and Bardsley had an off day unlike the clean sheet kept by Kompany and the defensive lynchpin leader of Arsene’s Boys.
Norfolk’s shirts sponsor Bernard Mathews put his head in the oven after this result.
Game-week 22 Fixtures
Monty (Caz Daz v Arsene’s Boys , WhoIsRonaldo v Norfulk-in-chance
Shield Group 4 Results
4th Place Trophy = 68 v 78 = We Love Manchester.
This League 2 v League 1 duel was never a contest. Over in the real world Man Utd are struggling, but this We Love Manchester ain’t.
Their 10pt mauling of these Trophy kids sent alarm bells ringing in this Group as well as now being No1 in the Group.
Trophy only played with 10 men as a pre-match revolt took place in their dressing room, so We Love Manchester pounced on this weakness and its strike force of S.A.N. seized the day.
Park Bench Exports = 65 v 72 = Son Of A Pitch.
This was not meant to happen!!! The Banterbury League Chairman is in trouble in this Group already! The Championship side of Son Of A Pitch led by Terry and mustard pot Coleman winning this battle by 7pts. The P.B.Exports with thoughts of love in the air back in west Country, made the fatal error of not captaining Suarez and in doing so he is now rooted at the bottom of Group 4.
Somewhere in Ireland a wee willy boss of Son Of A Pitch is doing an Irish Jig, to be sure to be sure.
Game-week 22 Fixtures
4th Place Trophy v Son of a Pitch , we love manchester v Park Bench Exports
This Article was written by Bench, Mito & Potty
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BREAKING NEWS : i have just booked my flight with Ryan-Air to hopefully make my 3rd signing of the January window
Another Assist for Kolarov should I’ve take Zabaleta out of my WC team & bring in Kolarov ?
Aguero scores on his return, should I bring him in for Rooney, or do another move altogether?
Mignolet (Guzan)
Coleman Zabaleta Lovren Gabbidon (Chester)
Hazard Ozil Cabaye (R.Morrison) (Whittingham)
Rooney Lukaku Suarez
1 FT and 1.3 in the bank.
Thanks
Veer – with Negredo and Dzeko scoring braces tonight can you definitely see Agüero starting vs Cardiff on Saturday? Not sure if I can…
Rooney out for sure though. Negredo / Giroud / Sturridge in.
Veer. Are you on a wc this week or next? Team looks ok. Get Aguero before he goes up – he’s Citeh’s best and after his break will be ready albeit a tad rusty(that didn’t stop him today!). If you need to find money I’d sell migs for boruc. Next week bring in Ramsey for cabaye. And consider Lukaku to Beneteke or Andy Carroll if one of these guys gets on a roll they could be fun to follow.
Thanks for your help guys! I will be on WC next week so I’ll consider all the changes then
Team is linked guys, looking to get some city attacking coverage and despite Dzeko’s brace I think its still mostly going to be negredo aguero up front..I have silva but I defo think negredo>silva (Im not saying aguero cos only way I could get aguero is by taking a -8 hit = not worth it) I’m thinking Lukaku->Negredo and then I can downgrade Silva to a solid yet cheaper option like Lallana/Eriksen/Cabaye. This would be a -4 hit though so wondering if it’s worth it (in city’s case it genrally is as they go ham at home lol so Im assuming Negredo would pay back the hit)
if you don’t think this particular one is worth it, I could keep my ft for this week and then next week use two ft’s to downgrade silva and terry and upgrade Lukaku to Aguero..eg silva->eriksen, terry->kolarov, lukaku->Aguero
If you are still in the cup – your next opponent’s team is now visible.
Head hurts…..toughest of weeks to figure out……but that’s why we love it right……
The main decision making this week is without doubt around what’s going on down at The Theatre of Dreams – and I mean The Etihad of course, where MC fans are indeed sleepwalking through their wildest fantasies
Some interesting points to help your dilemma’s fellow 247’ers
Negredo has scored only 3 in last 7 prem gameweeks and not two games consecutively in that period averaging just over 4 pts per game and not once hitting double figures
Dzeko has scored twice in that period, with an average of just below 3 pts.
Aguero fares much better with 6 in his last 7 outings prior to injury although only 3 times scoring a brace all season, never more.
Navas has scored one more point than Negredo’s 30 pt haul in the last 7, returning 31 pts, and has (at least) featured in every game since mid October.
Silva has scored 31 pts ( same as Navas) in that period, tho only playing 5 games.
Yaya too has scored 31 pts in that period from 6 games.
And lastly guess how many points Kolarov has scored in the last 7 GW’s – yep 31.
So in summary city’s points come from all over the park…..I guess pick the bones out of that fellas (and fella-esses)
Hope that helps ……must say done me no good whatsoever :-/
Hasta mañana
D
Great write ups Potty, Mito and Bench. Good luck, but not too much of it, to 4th place Trophy in the dazzling group 4 shield match. I am sure you won’t stay bottom for long Park, going to be an interesting group. One of the three of us has to keep team with Manchester off the top of the table lads, they have won enough…………