Captains Picks Fantasy Football Gameweek 33

Captains Picks Fantasy Football Gameweek 33 – Fantasy Premier League 2014/15

3 game ban for a straight red card. 10 game ban for Suarez after he racially abused Evra. 11 game ban for Di Canio after he pushed over a referee. A 20 week ban? You’d have to do something really bad for that. Surely? Nope. That’s how long my ban was from FF247 after I tipped Joey Barton in my last Captain’s article, all the way back in Gameweek 13! Honestly, you wouldn’t believe the fuss that caused!
Let me take you back to that fateful day…
It was just another normal Tuesday morning on FF247.co.uk. The site was buzzing. Regulars were chatting about their weekend’s points totals. Some were happy. Some were sad. Some were annoyed that they only scored 118 points. There were Monkey pictures. There were puns. There was Raz. All was right in the world, and then….it happened. “New captain’s picks article is live”, announced Cookie. Then, BOOM! Within minutes of the article being live on the site, I was summoned to FF247 HQ, Liverpool, for a disciplinary hearing with Init and Kop.
After paying a local £10 to “watch my car”, the hearing took place in Init’s office on the top floor. It started off ok, although it was hard for me to concentrate as the walls were all painted in bright yellow. (He must have a thing for that colour.) Anyway…it soon descended into the clichéd ‘good Kop’ / ‘bad Kop’ routine. I came through that easy enough though, and was then offered a plea deal if I rolled over on the brains behind the Barton tip/spoof. There was no way was I going to give up Tekno’s name that easily, so the mood became darker. I was taken down to the basement and the interrogation continued….
After enduring some highly illegal Colombian torture techniques – I had to watch a Rangers game (a bit worse than Sunday league) whilst locked in a cell with Potty – I was then offered some ‘alternative’ punishments by the disciplinary panel as a way of reducing the length of my ban. The problem was, I couldn’t be bothered to read the ridiculously long list of options that GP offered me, and I certainly wasn’t willing to do the thing that Cookie wanted me to do. So we went to court…
After several rounds of failed appeals and unfavourable rulings (that’s what happens with Migs as your legal rep), I finally switched lawyers to a big US law firm, headed up by Lawdogg. Countless working lunches and scandalous over-billing later, he used his excellent wrangling skills to get me a reduced sentence!
So, just 19 gameweeks later, here I am.
Ban served. Lesson learned. Let’s talk Fantasy Football…

This week see’s our options reduced thanks to a dramatically shrunken fixture list. There is no Arsenal, Aston Villa, Hull, Liverpool, QPR or Sunderland players to choose from, so I couldn’t tip Barton, even if I wanted to.

Fixtures
Sat 18 Apr 15.00
Crystal Palace vs West Brom
Everton vs Burnley
Leicester vs Swansea
Stoke vs Southampton

Sat 18 Apr 17.30
Chelsea vs Man Utd

Sun 19 Apr 13.30
Man City vs West Ham

Sun 19 Apr 16.00
Newcastle vs Spurs

[divider_1px]

I ridiculed GP last week for his ‘top 10’ tips. Honestly. “10”?! You guys don’t expect us to sit on the fence and cover our arses like that. You want us to do the thinking so you don’t have to. You want a short ‘short list’. You want decisiveness.
You’ll get that from me folks. Don’t you worry.

Here’s my Top 7 Tips for this week:

[three_fourth padding=”0 20px 0 0″]

[/three_fourth]Group 1: For Managers who….have their league sown up / don’t want to take any chances / love midgets.
Eden Hazard home vs Man Utd.
A goal and assist in his last home game, the breathtaking Belgian has the player of the year wrapped up already. Will be looking to add to his goal tally and make the Premiership title (almost) secure with a big performance against an in-form Utd.

Juan Mata away vs Chelsea.
A tough game coming up against his previous employers (and title favorites) Chelsea, but marvelous Mata has finally found his form in recent weeks with a massive 30 fantasy points in his last three games. Not been great from outside the box, but as we all know, it’s what’s inside the box that Mata’s.

[divider_1px]

[three_fourth padding=”0 20px 0 0″]

[/three_fourth]Group 2: For Managers who…believe that the guy who was in form several weeks ago and will come back strong this week.
Harry Kane away vs Newcastle.
Not scored in his last two games. Overrated English rubbish. I knew it wouldn’t last. Should never have dropped Adebayor. Ok, so it’s not all doom and gloom. The league’s joint top scorer is bound to start scoring again soon, and the Geordies have only kept two clean sheets in their last 10 home games.

David Silva home vs West Ham. (An excuse for wordsmithery).
The majestic midget (has that one been used already?) has shown glimpses of his brilliance on and off all season. City fans and FPL players alike will be hoping West Ham give space to the inconsequential innovator to work his magic.

Sergio Aguero home vs West Ham.
“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” – Albert Einstein when asked by Sergio Aguero how best to stop City’s embarrassing slide toward Europa league football. He’s a class player and has just found his scoring form. Looking for revenge after a loss at Upton Park.

[divider_1px]

[three_fourth padding=”0 20px 0 0″]

[/three_fourth]Group 3: For Managers who…like a big hitting differential / are loopy / are called Potty.
Glenn Murray home vs WBA.
The man on form. Murray leads the line against a WBA team that haven’t won away since 1st November. He has three goals and four assists in his last three games. He’s on such good form he’s had a mint named after him.

Jamie Vardy home vs Swansea.
Leicester have scored 8 goals in their last three matches and are playing for their Premiership lives. Vardy has averaged 8 fantasy points per game over that time period (2 goals, 2 assists and 4bps). They come up against a Swansea team focused on losing enough games to avoid the inconvenience of playing Europa League football next season.

Good luck this week everybody. I’ll be placing my trust in Aguero.

Thanks for reading Captain’s Picks Fantasy Football Gameweek 33. This article was written by Chins

Follow @chinsandbellies

[divider_1px]

WooFBet

We would like to remind you that our official partners, WooFBet, are again running a whole host of prize competitions for GW33, which will please many of you who are slowly building a lovely retirement nest egg, while others continue to persevere in the hope that this week will be their week! If you haven’t done so yet we recommend you get yourselves over to WooFBet.com as this week they have over €300 in free entry prizes and a whopping €1,850 in guaranteed pots. You also have the option to create your own tournaments and head-to-head challenges. Choose your rules and buy-in fee, and invite friends or leave it open for the public to challenge you.

[divider_1px]

Don’t forget to vote in this week’s Captain Poll

[polldaddy poll=8519165]