Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 10

Welcome to Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 10. Gameweek 9 did not run to the script, did it? So many players brought home one point this weekend I felt like I was getting the same sh*t gift over and over. International-break-favourite Eden Hazard managed just one point – his worst haul all season – to the delight of his three million owners. Teammate Marcos Alonso didn’t get the memo either, also managing just the one point – his worst haul all season – to the delight of his 2.6 million managers. And it wasn’t just the lunchtime kick-off; Callum Wilson, Matt Doherty and Marko Arnautovic re-wrapped Chelsea’s generous present and posted it to us again. In fact, it felt worse than that. They sent their present via a delivery company which posted a note to say a parcel had been left at the local sorting office which, upon collection, turned out to be a naff magazine you had forgotten to cancel your subscription for, for the twelfth consecutive month.

However, as Russell Howard used to say, ‘it’s not all doom and gloom’. Ryan Sessegnon managed to score his first goal of the season, which was his first non-appearance point since GW2 where he managed to grab an assist. In other words, it is a good job we all decided not to take the risk on him at the start of the season. More amusingly, Jermaine Pennant found himself on The Jeremy Kyle Show this week, and I don’t mean ‘found himself’ in the sort of ‘southerner builds a fence in East Africa to single-handedly defeat world poverty on a pre-university gap year’ kind of way. The footballer has become so irrelevant the Daily Star even spelt his name wrong.

So, after spending my weekend reading sulky tweets about fantasy teams, I decided to do a bit of digging to let Twitter introduce my captain picks to you for this coming weekend. I have changed the handles and pictures, exposing my rudimentary graphic design skills in the process, but these are all genuine tweets.

Mo Salah – Cardiff (H)

Now that Vincent Tan has given up trying to make the Bluebirds play in red and change the club’s animal to a dragon, he has enough free time to get into Twitter. I am assuming this is a Vincent Tan undercover account because only someone involved with Cardiff would still have 2012-13 Michu at the forefront of their minds. Perhaps Tan is worried about his side having to journey up the Anglo-Welsh border to face Mo Salah. Whilst Liverpool only managed to score one against Huddersfield, the Terriers can be a tough side to break down at home (for example, they beat Manchester United 2-1 last season and only lost to Manchester City and Arsenal 2-1 and 1-0, respectively) and the Reds did have a rather wasteful Daniel Sturridge up top to give Roberto Firmino a much-needed rest.

Liverpool did not lose a single game at home last season and have continued that fine form into this campaign. Since January, they have scored 2+ at home in nine out of a possible 12 matches, scoring 3+ in seven of those. They have already scored eight at home in four games this season, and one of those was the 0-0 draw against City.

Cardiff, on the other hand, have had a rough time of things. Despite their 4-2 win against Fulham at the weekend, they have still conceded 19 goals in their first nine matches, including five against City, three against Arsenal and four against Chelsea.

Mo Salah ranks second behind Aguero for shots taken per game on average (4) and shots in the penalty area/six-yard box (2.9). Frustratingly, Salah rarely accrues any bonus points when he ‘only’ makes one goal/assist contribution in a game. He has not been given a single one this season, despite four goals and two assists so far. Even more frustratingly, the official FPL page always seems to post that he is provisionally on for at least some bonus points, before taking them away! On Saturday, Dejan Lovren was still given three bonus points even after his Higuita-inspired scorpion kick ‘clearance’ which should have led to a late equaliser for Huddersfield if it was not for Steve Mounié being equal to Lovren and skying his effort.

I will never truly understand the bonus points system, so I don’t let it cloud my judgment too much. What are an extra few points anyway when he’s bagged a first-half brace and caused Neil Warnock to make one of his famous half-time speeches?

Jamie Vardy – West Ham (H)

I like to think this tweet was written by Paddy Power himself. 5000/1 to win the league, and this tweet was written early in the season. DJ Campbell managed to score just five goals for Leicester in his brief spell there, and they were not even in the Premier League at that point. Jamie Vardy more than doubled that in consecutive games during their title-winning season! But he’s not even good, apparently. If he is just ‘Pace’, he knows how to use it!

Whilst he hasn’t quite set the league alight so far, he has still managed three goals and an assist in seven appearances (which includes a sub appearance and a sending off). He also ranks sixth for shots taken inside the box per game (2.3) and only finds himself down the list for overall shots taken because players like Andre Schürrle shoot from literally anywhere. Well, that and the fact he ran off the pitch against Arsenal before the end of the game to avoid sh*tting himself. To be fair, Gary Lineker, in hindsight, would definitely have done the same if he was faced with uncompromising bowels again.

Jokes aside, this captaincy pick is definitely one to monitor. Claude Puel confirmed that the striker was playing through a stomach problem and, whilst I imagine he will recover in time for next weekend’s fixture, it is certainly something to keep an eye on. I definitely wouldn’t be making an early transfer for Captain Thunderpants.

West Ham have failed to keep a clean sheet on the road so far, conceding four against Liverpool and three against Arsenal. Whilst Pellegrini does appear to have calmed the ship since playing those sides back in August, Leicester only blanked at home four times last season and have not done so yet this season. When they score, you can always expect Vardy to be involved.

Callum Wilson – Fulham (A)

I hope I have adequately disguised the author of this tweet, not that I am actually taking a dig at them. Their views, written in mid-March this year, represented every FPL manager who brought Callum Wilson in after four goals and two assists in the six matches following Christmas Day, only for the Bournemouth striker to go on a dry spell that lasted until the final game of the season.

And he is back again. Having registered three goals and seven assists already, he is ready to lure you in once more before he embarks on his next mission to find a goal. Indeed, he might have already set off after his one-point showing against Southampton on Saturday in which he only had one shot, which fizzed off target.

However, this weekend’s fixture offers him every opportunity to make it a quick expedition. Fulham remains the only side yet to keep a clean sheet this season, and have conceded more than any other team (25) by a handsome six-goal margin. Whilst Arsenal, City and Spurs must take considerable responsibility for that embarrassing tally, the Cottagers also conceded two at home to Crystal Palace and Burnley and the fact that Cardiff managed to double their goal tally for the season against Fulham will likely have Eddie Howe’s men fired up for this one. I conducted the ‘eye test’ on Fulham at the weekend . Safe to say that all the changing around in defence is confusing the team more than it is helping them.

Bournemouth have scored 2+ in three of their five away games so far, and the games they failed to score in were against Chelsea and Burnley.

Sergio Aguero – Spurs (A)

Pep’s rotation has become infamous. His ability to manipulate the media into casting doubt into the minds of every FPL manager is miraculous. He is in a car crash, he faints, he has an injury. Who cares? Some players are never too risky, however hard the Peps off this world try to tell you he won’t play next week. Sterling was dropped this weekend, and no one expected that. Don’t try and second guess Pep, just have Aguero.

Whilst the fixture, on paper, is a tough one, City managed to score seven past Spurs in the two games last season and their five-nil drubbing of Burnley is a timely reminder of what they can do; it’s been a whole month since they beat a side by five goals. This season at home, Spurs have already conceded four against Leicester and two against Liverpool and Jan Vertonghen’s injury does not help in that regard.

Even without KDB, City have been averaging over 20 shots per game and scored 26 and Aguero is having a table-topping 3.6 shots inside the box per game, despite coming off the pitch early recently. If he keeps scoring, keep bringing him off Pep.

It didn’t take long for KDB to look impressive even in a City side that were 3-0 up. His return to the field can only be a good thing for Aguero owners, and his ‘captainers’.

Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 10. This article was written by AT.

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