Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 28

Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 28 2017/18

Welcome to Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 28. Guess who’s back, back again, Mito’s back, tell a friend.
Is that Kun and Salah going round the outside, round the outside?

Sorry, sometimes I get caught listening to some old Em. So, I have been asked to write the captaincy article this week and as I always do, I pitched a different idea. As always though, it was shot down. To be fair, I can’t really remember what I was pitching, is just in my nature to be difficult. Well, at least that’s what my mom has always said, of course, I disagree with her assessment. Speaking of momma bear, she has always been a conservative lady and if she were advising me on who to put in this article, she probably say “Give them the safe options honey” which of course would then have me want to pick the risky options instead. Unluckily for you the readers, we have an editor and my picks of Mooy, Tadic and Robertson were given back to me and I was told everything ‘looked great’ (I am sure it wasn’t said sarcastically) so as long as I changed those 3 for Kane, Salah and Aguero. Thankfully one of my picks (Vardy) survived the editing table. But don’t worry folk, despite my original article being turned away and being called some names I can’t type on here, I feel like the relationship is still ok between me and the head editor, (that Cock) (Rooster) I can tell because on the notes he made for me he wrote this at the end, in red I might add “Well, at least you didn’t suggest Cuco Martina in a Tips article” HaHaHa, the boss did a funny. Because who would do that, no one, that’s who, so it was just the head honcho giving me an example of what would get me in the dog house. Not to worry boss, I got this!!

Now, for one of my picks and 3 bums to fill out the article.

JAMIE VARDY (Stoke City, home)
In American politics the question of who would you rather have a beer with is always posed every Presidential cycle. I would venture to guess this is not the best way to pick a leader, since W and Trump won the polls over their counterparts. However, I do feel like using this very scientific-ish poll would work well for FPL. So I ask, who would you rather have a beer with? Jamie Vardy that’s m*****f***ing who!

So score one for Vardy over the other three candidates.

Right

Hmmmm

Obviously, not much else needs to be said. I know you are all on board, in particular Silvers, he is definitely on board, even if he is passed out.

Well, just in case you need more convincing (not sure why, but whatever) let us look at some stats. Vardy has drank scored in his last four fixtures on the bounce. He has also scored 8 goals vs the top 6 this season, what someone like Romelu Lukaku would call a career worth of goals vs top teams. So now you know he can score on anyone. Which leads us to GW28, give him a great home fixture versus a team who really struggles on their travels and it could be time to party. Stoke has given up 2 or more goals vs Leicester in every one of their last 5 meetings. The Potters are the worst defensive team in the PL and its really not that close. They make Huddersfield and Watford appear to be tough and hard to break down by comparison.

You still not convinced? Have a couple more beers, hand over your password to your FPL team and wake up after the deadline, you will thank me later.

Mohamed Salah(West Ham, home)
Meh, this guy again. Back again. Darn! Almost slipped into Eminem mode again. This pick was forced on me, as is most of this article to be honest. I had a choice to not write it, but I still felt forced, even though I live overseas and can’t be reached, technically. None of you have seen Init (on Skype) in his Christmas sweater (he is still wearing it, scary stuff) with a beard, saying “I’m not mad” (if I passed on the article), you get the gist it was mandatory.

Anyway, what was this section about again? Oh, that’s right, I have to do my best to sell Salah as a captain pick to you. What do I look like to you, Tom Cruise? Mission Impossible I say, I will do my best though, here goes nothing.

• Eleven uninspired double digit hauls by this fella.
• Nineteen games of 5 points or more so far this season is nothing to write home about.
• Since GW11, he has only failed to score 5 or more points twice in games he has featured in, Vardy could do that if he really tried.
• Mohamed is 43 points ahead of the 2nd place guy in FPL, sounds like they gave him a head start, that’s all.
• Last time he played West Ham he scored twice and got the 3 bonus, whatever.
• Etc…
• Etc…

Guys, I did what I could with them stats, but some people are just hard to sell for the captaincy.

Harry Kane(Crystal Palace, away)
It wasn’t enough for our dear leader to burden me with Salah, but in some kind of cruel joke he has asked I mention Kane also. I almost stood my ground and said this was a bit much, but that sweater…

Mission Impossible II

Can Harry do it on a fair weathered day in a lunch time kick-off in London? I don’t know if he can be trusted. But for the sake of this article I am suppose to pretend he can.

Kane has the most points out of any forward in FPL, I know, I am not impressed either. He has also scored the most goals this season and the season before this and the season before that, whoopee. Eight double digit hauls to his name, with four coming away and four at home. When he hits double digits in a gameweek he averages 14 points on those hauls. Sure that sounds great, actually that does sound great. One thing though, I am aware of something you might have forgot. Harry Kane’s kryptonite will be managing Palace against him.

When Hodgson is around Harry, how do I put this…Harry goes to shite. Sorry for the nuance, hope you get my drift. Last time Woy was around Harry, he started taking corners, imagine what Kane will regress back to when he sees Hodgson on the touch line. I fully expect him to go take goal kicks for Lloris. You’ve been warned!

Pugilist Kun(Arsenal, away)
Listen I love a fighter, but this little fella really needs to stay in his own weight class, but again, I was told he needed to be on the article.

Aguero has the second best PP90 stats of players who get regular minutes in the EPL. And we all know what second is, the first loser. I am sure some on here will feel like Kun deserves a bit more respect after his 21 point haul (thank you baby Jesus) but that’s old news, not fake news, just old. Eight goals in his last 4 fixtures says this man is on fire, but that was against teams who are mentally weak and fall apart at the first sign of adversity. Arsenal is his opponent this GW and, DAMN! Guess that doesn’t work against him, since the Gunners didn’t invent ‘falling apart’ and being ‘mentally weak’ but they have perfected it. Kun has scored or assisted in 5 of his last 6. Arsenal is averaging 2 goals allowed vs top 4 opponents at home this season, giving up 6 in the other 3 fixtures. Aguero has two 20 points or more hauls this season, only one other player even has one, Ramsey. If Ramsey can do it though, can’t be that impressive.

In conclusion, think it was pretty obvious who the pick is, even though I did my best to remain unbiased and give you the straight skinny. So let us know in the comment section if you went with Vardy.

Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 28. This article was written by Mito21.

@TheLegendMito21

Gameweek Tracker GW28-37