Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 29

Welcome to Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 29. “What’s the point in reading a Captain Picks article when players like VvD somehow end up being the top scorer after unpredictable flurries in the final 10 minutes?”

I actually just made that up. On reflection, it’s an oddly specific quote, so you’d have probably guessed as much… I digress. However, if somebody really did say that, it’d be pretty justified frustration. The previous Gameweeks’ top scorers lately? Don’t ask. It’s a far-from-illustrious list: Deulofeu, Sterling, Laporte, King, Schär, Rice, Deeney… now, I could continue with this pessimistic tone, but it’s well known that Agüero’s pair of home hat-tricks are marginally hidden away by that sorry lot. Deeney’s cumbersome body alone could probably hide both of them.

Salah’s recent string of disappointing blanks are hidden away far more discretely. Neither player features below, actually, but I wouldn’t discourage you from keeping the faith. No, there simply seems to be 5+ better captaincy options for this weekend, that’s all. Is this essentially how divorces begin? Let’s hope for no more broken hearts on a mellow Sunday evening and check out our ‘workmates’ who keep smiling at us.

Raheem Sterling vs Bournemouth (A)

He’s been rested for 2 of his last 4 fixtures in the PL and effortlessly accrued 28 points in the pair that he started — he was playing against Arsenal and Chelsea for those — you’d surely think, then, that Bournemouth will be completely unable to resist him. Sorry; there honestly isn’t an intentional ‘lust’ theme for this aimless article…

Anyway, yeah, The Cherries have been getting absolutely battered recently: 17 goals conceded against Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs and Man United in under 2 months. In fairness to them, those were matches away from home, but also matches that weren’t against Man City: the team who’ve scored 128 goals in all competitions already. If you still require convincing evidence, Sterling’s bagged at least a goal in all 6 of his glittering appearances against Howe’s troops, including a hat-trick back in 2015 that I can still recall watching clearly. The last PL player to net against a given opponent 7 times consecutively was Lukaku, though, who probably did so by accident.

Form: 6
Fixture: 7
Explosiveness: 8

Paul Pogba vs Southampton (H)

He’s finally done what every noob FPL manager (the guy in your office who plays a 4-4-2 every Gameweek but has been “unlucky” until DdG finally gets him 12 points…) assumed that he would when he returned to Man United; Pogba’s become FPL bread and butter.

Indeed, with 5 home matches under OGS now, he’s managed 6 goals (and an assist for good measure) in them — only blanking in the Liverpool match — yielding an almost inhuman 10.2-points-per-match average for that period. I honestly just moved my own team’s armband from somebody below to this cocky fade-master. As for Saints, well, they haven’t actually conceded more than 2 goals in a PL match this year thus far. There’s a first occasion for everything. Many things. Ok, fine, who knows. Even a bread-and-butter marriage can eventually go stale.

Form: 7
Fixture: 8
Explosiveness: 7

Eden Hazard vs Fulham (A)

Fulham have somehow conceded 63 goals in the PL already. That’s essentially all that I’m gonna say here. Scroll down to Mr Wolf now if you really wish.

As a brief disclaimer: Eden got substituted after 59[.something] minutes (and actually agreed to walk off the pitch) in his midweek match. Chelsea won; Hazard owners definitely lost. There’s also some breaking news to consider, as Ranieri has just made way for Scotty P to romp in as the caretaker manager. Can that cure the Fulham defence? It does little to dissuade taking a risk on this rested midget, if we’re being honest.

Form: 4
Fixture: 8
Explosiveness: 7

Raúl Jiménez vs Cardiff (H)

Nobody beats Fulham for goals conceded, but in 2nd place, Cardiff offer 55 goals, a decent effort, and Raúl will be keen to benefit. This captaincy might not be the sexiest option (which isn’t fitting for a towering man of Jiménez’ standards) but it’s an efficient and smart one nonetheless. If backing the previous candidate is like gambling in a casino for a whole night, this is like putting your cash in an investment bond, albeit a seemingly unpopular one.

It would also have very low interest rates; Jiménez has only ever had two double-digit hauls, both 12 points, so don’t expect a piñata party. I think that’s the first unnecessary stereotype for this article! Not bad. Surely my last candidate won’t warrant too many controversial comments…

Form: 7
Fixture: 9
Explosiveness: 5

Harry Kane vs Arsenal (H)

Scrap that. My bad. If you really put your head into making FPL decisions, approaching them face-on, Kane tends to find his way back into your team. He can score you 13 points with a brace, or 17 points for a hat-trick, or even 18 points for a haul and then a full-speed headbutt after netting those 4 goals. The possibilities are just mind-numbing.

It’s true, Harry loves to play Arsenal, as he can boast a joint-record 8 goals against us. It may be the dreaded early kick-off, he may well be very unrepresented by teams of the top-10k managers, but don’t be surprised to see that white shirt of his with a blue star.

Form: 5
Fixture: 6
Explosiveness: 9

All the best for this weekend! Especially if Felipe Anderson’s tempting you…

Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 29. This article was written by Jamesimmo.

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