Fantasy Footballl Diary – GW’s 27 – 31

Fantasy Football Diary – GW’s 27 – 31.

Welcome to Fantasy Football Diary. It’s been a fun, frantic and frustrating (at times) few weeks since we last met. It’s all gone on – a new job, new house, new issues for the mrs to moan about and of course we’re reaching the business end of our FPL season. Let’s get to it….

Game-week 27

I have no idea what to do with my team. Kun, Digne & Hazard will all sit out GW27 while Wan-Bissaka has done his hammy. I should be better prepared in my head for the last crucial weeks of the season, but my head is not focused at all on FPL.

We have got the keys to the new house and I was so excited, relieved, elated as I drove back to the in-laws. At last we are to be free of Lady Gin & Lord ****. And then the Mrs (again) completely pissed on my bonfire. ‘We can’t move in, we have no bedding or curtains’. My reply was of course, ‘well effing sort it out then’ – after all how difficult can it be?

Over dinner with the outlaws it was agreed by everyone but me that we couldn’t yet move in. There were a variety of reasons given – ‘it’s too much of a rush for the kids’, ‘I can’t sleep without curtains’, ‘what’s the hurry?’ (that one came from the grumpy old bastard) – there were more, equally as stupid.

So we’ve gone from ‘Get out of my house, we want you out, Out, OUT’ to ‘don’t rush’. Fckin weirdos the lot of them. I went to bed and realised I was witnessing Stockholm Syndrome first hand. Truly, you couldn’t make this up.

I felt so low. So sad. I want my kids out of this hell hole and we have a house round the corner ready and waiting and now this.

I am properly angry with the Mrs. Really pissed off. We could be out but she appears reluctant to go. Weirdo. Is this what Fritzl made his victim feel like? Seriously. I call her a few names which I arguably (according to her) shouldn’t have done.

To cut a long story short, we moved in a week later. Seven days. Incredible. Two days before GW27 to give you the exact timeline.

Anyway, we are now in and it’s great. We have a garden, there is no-one huffing and puffing at anything and everything and the kids can have fun in the bath without being moaned at.

So, FPL. I want to sell Hazard – he’s using up a chunk of cash and under performing. But he plays in GW31. Felipe Anderson plays Fulham this week and plays in GW31. I still don’t own Son but he doesn’t play in GW31. But he’s on fire.

The injury to WB possibly opens a slot in defence – Palace don’t play in GW31 so I could just bring in a Newcastle defender – they play in GW31 and host Huddersfield this week. Hmmm I’m thinking this is the sensible play. It also means keeping Hazard! And ignoring Anderson who I have been plugging in Site Team chats this week.

I ignore my head and decide Anderson’s ceiling is higher than Lascelles’ or Lejeune’s. So Hazard has gone (I may buy him back!)

And I capo Anderson! Gulp.

I’ve ignored Aubameyang this week in order to keep Kun for the midweek visit of West Ham in GW28.

GW27 kicks off on Friday this week with two matches – one of which is West Ham vs Fulham. My capo starts, phew! Fabianski loses his clean sheet early doors, a great start. It gets no better. Anderson does nothing, apparently doesn’t look interested and is hauled off after 70mins. Bollox. What a crap call that was in every sense.

7pts from 2 players and my capo out of the way. Now I have to sit through the likes of Son and Aubameyang – both popular capos this week.

Saturday arrives and like a true loving family we sit around the breakfast table and enjoy bacon sandwiches. No fighting, arguing, tutting, moaning or whinging in sight. The Mrs was upstairs. Only joking!!

Talking of the Mrs, she has been bargain hunting on Facebook – buying a chest of drawers, mirrors, a desk for William, a wardrobe etc, etc. I am sent on a tour of Somerset Saturday afternoon collecting (and paying for) such items.

Luckily Son blanks at Burnley. One out of the way. I lose my Doherty clean sheet early on but he goes on to win a penalty that Jimenez converts – kerrrr ching! Moutinho does nothing so I finish the day on 21 from 5 with 5 left. I’m only playing with 10 this week as Gunnarsson didn’t show for Cardiff.

If Aubameyang can blank tomorrow I should be ok.

Aubameyang blanks, Salah blanks, Pogba blanks – big relief as all the popular capo picks all but match Anderson.

Clean sheet from Shaw and Kolasinac see me through to 43pts for the GW. Luckily the average is just 35 so I see another green arrow, the fifth in a row – but in those five GWs I’ve only risen 15k places.

My rank is now 54,493. All Chips remain in hand but I’m not well placed for GW31.

Meanwhile Fritzl & Lady Gin have been round every day since we’ve moved in. Quite bizarre. And annoying the hell out of me.

Game-week 28

Another midweek game-week and my man Rashford got kicked to bits by the scousers at the weekend. No petition here though, just confusion as to what to do with Rash. My gut says to sell but for who? Rondon and Barnes are the two names in my head and it’s pretty close between the pair. Both cheap, both with good fixtures, both play in GW31, both in form. However, Toon don’t score enough goals for my liking so Barnes wins that battle. But he doesn’t win the war as Vardy comes in with a late charge and the optimism over Rodgers’ appointment (some folk are so easily pleased) plus a great run of fixtures (incl GWs 31 & 33) convinces me to take the plunge.

The in-laws popped round but only to drop some stuff off. They can’t stay away. I can’t wait to start work next week.

Pep’s presser reveals Jesus as still being injured so I make Kun captain at home to West Ham. Salah home to Watford is tempting but Firmino being a big doubt concerns me.

The new house is coming together you’ll be pleased to know although the Mrs is quite annoying. Nothing new there though – same shit, different day. The kids love the garden and friends next door – its a very friendly community and the bloke next door is a Manc. What’s not to like?!

Part 1 of GW28 sees my pack of Wolves contributing nothing at Huddersfield – however a Digne clean sheet and Vardy scoring help out.

Part 2 sees me fall back into averageness – as I end up matching the average of 53. Kun justifies the armband with a 9 pointer doubled while Salah not scoring or assisting in a 5-0 rout helps. However my lack of a Liverpool defender pulls me back to the pack and a red arrow back to 59k.

Game-week 29
Ahead of schedule and in a rare case of boredom I address the lack of a Liverpool defender by buying TAA for Kolasinac. It gives me another GW31 player though I have to admit that I still don’t have a chip strategy. The consensus seems to be to build for 31 and go from there so lazily I will likely follow that route though I won’t field 11 in GW31.

The mother-in-law has moaned to the Mrs that she doesn’t feel she can just pop round. Lol. Silly cow, go drink some gin you old bint.

Saturday arrives and all talk is of Wolves resting loads at home to Cardiff. Not great when I have 3 of the buggers.

I have a late moment of doubt over giving Pogba the armband and instead capo Salah.

The deadline bell rings and I have no representation in the North London derby. Amusingly Aubameyang is benched as is Kola (great sale by me ), Son does nothing, both teams concede and neither wins. Happy days.

Onto the 3pm matches and the rumours are true as Doherty & Moutinho are both benched. Grrrrrrr. Fortunately Aguero plays. Wan-Bissaka is first on my bench.

Jimenez assists and then scores. Shaw loses his clean sheet at home to Southampton (wtf?). Wan-Bissaka assists vs Burnley as they lead 2-0. Yes! Keep Doherty and/or Moutinho on that bench.

Doherty comes on at half time. W.T.F? Palace are 3-0 up and Wan-Bissaka is on for a clean sheet, assist and 3bps. Just need Moutinho to stay on the bench.

The Mrs is working today so it’s me and the kids though we’ve spent most of the day with William’s girlfriend and her Dad. They are 6. She adores him, he doesn’t really give a s**t but they play nicely. The Dad is a musician and actor rather than a sport lover. Nice bloke though. He probably thinks me rude for constantly checking my phone.

Moutinho is introduced on 70mins with Wolves coasting. Why, why, why Nuno? I want to cry.

Late on Palace concede. Yes! Then Pogba misses a penalty in injury time. Hahaha not great for me but even worse for the many that captained him. Hee hee.

I have a missed call from Lady Gin. She must be pissed already. Naturally I don’t return the call. She can piss off.

The evening match sees West Ham beat Newcastle 2-0 – a clean sheet for Fabianski is welcome but Anderson again does nothing. I cocked up when I sold Hazard for him.

I end the day on 25pts from 8 players. Not good but above average would you believe?! 18 of the 25 are from Jimenez & Fabianski.

With still my captain to play all hope is not yet lost.

The Mrs and I end the day with a curry and Match of the Day. She’s a lucky girl.

Sunday morning is spent taking some wood to the dump and arguing with the Mrs. I
should have kept the wood and dumped the Mrs .

It’s my last day before I start my new job and I plan on having fun with the kids. Vardy makes that easier by scoring late on and grabbing a couple of bonus points. With no Chelsea interest my hopes depend on Liverpool – wonderful. TAA obliges with a clean sheet and max bps while Capo Salah missed a couple of easy chances for a blank….. but a better blank than Pogba, Auba and Aguero combined

I had to pop to B&Q and the library with William – on my return the in-laws had arrived. Truly, they cannot stay away! At least Lady Gin wishes me good luck for my first day, Fritzl doesn’t say a word.

I end the week on 48pts. Somehow above average and a green arrow which sees me rise some 6k places to 53,514.

Game-week 30

Back to work. The alarm goes off at 6am….SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM! The 7.11 from Bath Spa to Bristol Temple Meads is devoid of fellow commuters which allows me a table seat and I spend the 18 minute journey preparing…. for FPL

Screw work, I really need to get my head around these double and blanks and see how my team is set. Hmmmm, not very well it seems!

I’m happy to hit this week and next to get me up to 9 or 10. That should be fine.

My first day at work is fine. I best not divulge the name of my employer, except to say they are the biggest employer in the financial sector in the south-west.

My new team of colleagues seem friendly, helpful and hard-working.

I don’t spend one minute on the internet at work. This is unheard of and Init won’t be pleased! There is much work to be done this month and next as we approach the end of the tax year. Should keep me out of trouble.

Wednesday sees United win in Paris and knock out the Frogs…. get in. ‘Ole’s at the wheel’….

Brooks in for Moutinho looks favourite this week. I can’t get my head around Chelsea…. they only scored two vs Fulham. The priority for GW31 is getting a 3rd Liverpool dude to go alongside Salah and TAA…. do I get another defender or go on the attack with Mané or Firmino? And what of West Ham? So many questions, so few clearcut answers.

I left my transfer(s) until Saturday morning in the hope of some inspiration. None arrived. Instead the Mrs sent me into deepest Gloucestershire to pick up a wardrobe and chest of drawers c/o another Facebook purchase.

I do the Moutinho to Brooks move but decide to leave it at that, avoid any hit and wait a week to decide who else I want for GW31.

Capo for this week is between Kun home to Watford and Salah home vs Burnley. Difficult / impossible to decide so I wear my United hat and capo Salah…..if he smashes it and Liverpool win then at least there is some consolation for me. If he blanks and Liverpool don’t win then they lose more ground to City 😉

The early kick off promised a CS for Wan-Bissaka. Sadly that is ruined within 10mins and Palace go on to lose 1-2 at home to Brighton. Good start.

I spend an hour building lego with the boy. Not sure who enjoys it more.

The 3pm’s sees Digne assist early, Fab lose his CS early and Vardy assist early. After that its the Vardy show with a 2nd half brace but that is the end of the good. Anderson is hauled off at half-time, Brooks limps off shortly after the 60min mark, Digne concedes 3 2nd half goals and Fabianski concedes again.

Kun assists in City’s 3-1 win so capo’ers will be disappointed with that return – Salah (c) could help me tomorrow.

I end the day on 32pts from 7 players. I cannot seem to break free from this averageness right now.

Anyway, it’s curry night here then MOTD, then the girls will wake up and ruin another night’s sleep.

…. The curry was superb thanks. So good that I kept nodding off throughout MOTD. And as predicted the girls were a shocker.

Right then, time for Salah. And what a false dawn that turned out to be! He matched Kun’s 5pts despite the scousers scoring four, damnit. TAA went off injured – great, another doubt for next week.

I was at least rewarded for keeping Jimenez as he scored vs Chelsea and grabbed 2bps before Pogba and United failed at Arsenal.

All in all a disappointing game-week.

However it’s not all bad. There has been no sight of the in-laws all weekend and then when I arrived home from soft play I discovered our neighbour had climbed through and tidied up much of our overgrown back garden. Legend! Who says the grass isn’t always greener?!

Just a shame that the arrows weren’t as green as the newly landscaped garden – rather they were as red as Lady Gin’s tongue lashings. I ended on 53pts vs an average of 48 but a drop down to 55,102.

I’m thinking Wilson and Mane should come in for BGW31 – they have decent fixtures in GW33 also. I won’t buy Mané until after Liverpool’s CL midweek fixture but may just grab Wilson if he looks like rising in price.

I could also get back Hazard for my Cardiff numpty for a total hit of 8pts, but that is something to sleep on.

Game-week 31

As if Monday mornings weren’t bad enough, this one took some beating. It started pleasantly enough – a relaxed walk down to the bus stop, got a seat on the train and bright sunshine as I walked from Temple Meads by the river to the office. And then I got told the bad news. My big boss is a Liverpool fan – hardly great in any circumstance but especially when one is trying to forge a new career at the age of 46. What a disaster. He’s a proper United-hating one too. This is not going to end well.

Or so I thought.

Then things took a turn for the better. At our morning meeting it was announced that said boss will be leaving in June. I just need to bite my tongue until then – I’m not sure I can resist the challenge to get the words ‘slippy’ or ‘choke’ into every conversation we have 😉

I said just above that the morning started badly and I forgot to mention that Wilson, Hazard and Mané all rose in price overnight which is annoying. I really wanted to wait until after Liverpool & Chelsea have played their midweek European games but on the other hand I won’t just sit there and be priced out of the moves I want to make.

Mane scores twice vs Bayern and I buy him that evening – along with Wilson. I’m still contemplating Hazard. Thursday arrives and Pellegrini says that Arnie is fit and will start vs Huddersfield. Ohhhh now there’s a tempter. I have Jimenez sitting there with no game in GW31 or GW33. I sleep on it. Arnie vs Hazard.

Work on Friday is busy. I have a weekly meeting with my gaffer. She is pleased with me and thinks I bring ‘some life’ to the team. I think that’s meant as a compliment. Our half hour chat goes on for over an hour yet I resist asking her if I should buy Arnie or Hazard.

I sleep on the decision Friday as its a late deadline on Saturday. Arnie rises in price which sways my thinking and I buy the Hammer. Then Init says he has not only bought him but captained him also! Blimey that’s brave.

The Mrs is working Saturday so I take the little’uns to Bristol to visit the aquarium, see the boats and have a pizza. I’m on site and Claire arrives on the boards. Most of you newbies won’t know Claire – she is an old friend of the site from FFC days and loves her FPL. We don’t see enough of her these days as she probably has a life outside of FPL! I suggest we TC Salah, she is noncommittal. Don’t know why I really mentioned it. Then Dreamers pops up to say he is TCing Salah so I join him. What the hell? Salah is playing better than his fantasy returns and away to Fulham is a lovely fixture.

The GW starts with me in the aquarium with no signal. Damnit. Now I’m not saying I rushed the kids round but when they said they’d had enough, there was no argument from me.

I took them to the café where they could enjoy a snack and I could see if Arnie and Wilson had scored first half hat-tricks. Errrr they hadn’t. Fabianksi had already conceded two to Huddersfield and Anderson, Arnie, Vardy, Brooks & Wilson had done sweet FA.

A late Anderson assist was all there was to show. But with Salah x 3 coming tomorrow I’d be ok.

Saturday evening sees Man City very nearly exit the Cup vs Swansea. That would have screwed my FH plans for GW32! Fortunately Kun rescues them late on as they win from 2-0 down.

Sunday morning the Mrs and I took the kids down to the park as William wanted to play cricket, good lad.

2.15pm Liverpool kick off at Fulham. Mane scores. No Salah assist. No Salah anything by half time. Not sure who is the bigger tw@t, me or him.

I have borrowed a hedge trimmer from my Manc mate next door. As the game goes on and I check twitter every 2mins, more hedge is hacked in annoyance.

Fulham equalise in the 2nd half. Happy days! Milner comes on. 2mins later, Liverpool get a penalty. FFS. Salah would be taking that if Boring James was still on the bench.

Nothing from Salah, my TC. There is not much hedge left.

However it’s not the end of the world as Kane only delivered 1pt x 3 as my TC last season so I’ve doubled that.

My unlikely hero Digne then recovers the GW slightly by returning a surprising clean sheet at home to Chelsea. Hazard does nothing and equals Arnie’s 2pt haul – glad I spent days thinking that one through!

I end the week on 41pts (net 33) which is somehow better than the average which comes in at just 26, but a red arrow takes me to 59,586 and basically back to where I was four weeks ago. The see-saw continues.

An international break is upon us as is the preparation and tinkering of my FH team for GW32. This is when I hope to make up proper ground on the non-FHers but as GW31 has shown us, nothing is guaranteed. I need to make a significant move at some point soon if I am to record a decent rank come the end of GW38.

I’m spending the evening with a steak and ale pie and a bottle of Shiraz as I work out how to get Kun, Kane, Sterling, Hazard & Pogba into my team without having to pad it out with half a dozen Peltiers and Bednareks!

See you soon x

Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Diary – Game-weeks 27 – 31. This article was written by Cookie

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