Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 28

Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 28

Welcome to Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 28. Combinations can sometimes conjure up the most unique and magical fusions, take Dwight Yorke and Andy Cole (treble winning strike partnership); Morecambe and Wise (timeless comedy duo); Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (iconic dance partners) and an ice cream cone strategically placed on a donkey (unicorn). Alternatively, an unexpectedly gruesome hybrid can be produced from merging two otherwise great things together; like Star Wars and Samuel L. Jackson.

This all brings me rather unsteadily to present you this haphazard homogenization of the Captain Picks and Tips articles, which I’m unofficially calling Cat Pain Tips*.

But first let’s look at the 4 fixtures on offer:

BOURNEMOUTH v WEST HAM UNITED
EVERTON v WEST BROM
HULL v SWANSEA
LIVERPOOL v BURNLEY

The first thing to rejoice about is that, no matter what happens, FPL fans won’t be subjected to another Kane/Alli ‘celebration’ which, if it was a 90’s boyband would be A1; highly choreographed, yet almost universally despised. Watch Spurs v Millwall at your own peril. Now where were we…

BOURNEMOUTH v WEST HAM UNITED
Captain Pick – Joshua King (BOU)
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[/three_fifth]Despite an alarming string of results for the Cherries, Joshua King is one of the most in-form FPL players of late, enjoying a hot streak of 5 goals in 6 games. Owned by a criminally low 3.4%, the Norwegian could prove to be an unorthodox yet effective captain choice against a West Ham team that’s failed to keep a clean sheet away from home since winning by a single goal at Selhurst Park way back in GW8. Josh has years of experience looking after cats and notes, “During heat, my cat suffered from a loss of appetite, but she still ate a little to keep up her energy. Cats go back to normal eating behaviours as the heat wears off.”

Best of the rest –
Manuel Lanzini joined previous club Al Jazira as a replacement for Abdelaziz Barrada, who linked up with Marseille. It must be deja-vu for the Argentine who now inherits the burden of Marseille’s recent recruit Dmitri Payet. Robert Snodgrass may have been the official stand-in, but it’s the former River Plate star who seems to be ably filling the creative void. Nicknamed ‘La Joya’ (the jewel), Lanzini has bagged 25 diamond-encrusted points in the past 3 fixtures. His 12 goal attempts in that period puts him behind only Coutinho in this week’s available pool of players. Another notable Hammer includes a rarely healthy, but usually dangerous Andy Carroll, who will be keen to face a defence that hasn’t kept a clean sheet this year.

EVERTON v WEST BROM
Captain Pick – Romelu Lukaku (EVE)
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[/three_fifth]His Bournemouth bonanza aside, the Belgian’s FPL scoring graph has rarely spiked above the ordinary. The difference this season however has been his consistency. In years gone by, Lukaku has struggled to attain this, but now squeezes out points like an OCD teenager with chronic acne. The Everton striker epitomised this perfectly in last Sunday’s clash with Spurs, scoring even at the death when the Toffees were staring defeat in face. Post-match, he kindly shared this insight with fans, “If your cat begins growling, swatting or snapping when stroked, touched or moved, that’s a sign something is bothering him.”

Best of the rest –
Take some comfort that when Trump eventually smashes that big red Trident button on his desk, perhaps ending humanity and even worse, FPL, Seamus Coleman will still be out there by himself getting assists for… ah, wait, I haven’t thought this through. Not only has he recaptured his form of yore, he looks like having his best season ever with 4 goals, 4 assists and no sign of slowing down. As for the Baggies, well we all know about Gareth ‘goal machine’ McAuley, but maybe you’ll find room in your hearts for an ever-improving Nacer Chadli who’s starting to deliver reliable returns.

HULL v SWANSEA
Captain Pick – Fernando Llorente (SWA)
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[/three_fifth]Llorente is known as ‘The Lion King’ by his Spanish compatriots. He kick-started his career with a prolific stint at Athletic Bilbao, and now aged 32 his Welsh renaissance appears to be completing the circle of his footballing life. 3 goals in 2 games has coincided with a remarkable reversal of fortunes for the Swans since Paul Clement’s arrival. The 6’4″ gentle giant, and the most popular ‘transfer in’ for this GW, confides, “My cat’s left hip is more arthritic than the right one, and I suspect it’s more comfortable for her to sleep on the right side for this reason. ?Nants ingonyama bagithi baba. Sithi uhhmm ingonyama…?”

Best of the rest –
Gylfi Sigurdsson’s progress has been well documented around these parts, but will merit inclusion for a while longer yet if he maintains his current run of scoring or assisting in each of the last 6 games. Left-back Martin Olsson completes the triumvirate (copyright The Gallant Pioneer) of double-letter-laden Swans. The £4m January signing has settled in quickly to shore up a leaky back four, and his two goals suggest he doesn’t seem too shy in front of goal either. Hull City, despite being another team boosted by a new managerial arrival, are still a relatively unappealing FPL proposition. However, with 2 assists in 2 games, recent acquisition Kamil Grosicki may be worth keeping in your thoughts.

LIVERPOOL v BURNLEY
Captain Pick – Sadio Mane (LIV)
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[/three_fifth]Jurgen Klopp isn’t the only manager who’s frustrated with Liverpool’s inconsistency. The ever revolving merry-go-round of points shared among his midfield stars has FPL gaffers across the land reaching for the Prozac. It was Mane last week, next week it could be Firmino, Coutinho, Wijnaldum… But the Senegalese seems the safest bet given his returns of 12 goals and 7 assists thus far. Mane is also acutely aware of the tell-tale signs regarding feline joint discomfort, “Holding the appropriate positions for peeing and pooping can be very difficult for a cat with sore hips or knees.”

Best of the rest –
Clean sheets are almost impossible to predict these days (especially for Sadio Mane’s cat), but with a home fixture to a side woeful on their travels, Simon Mignolet at home to Burnley seems as good a punt as any. Roberto Firmino will be popular with those wishing to bring in an extra Liverpool body alongside Mane, but don’t discount Phillipe Coutinho. Yes, he’s being overshadowed by his peers, but 20 attempts in the past 4 gameweeks plonks him firmly at the top of the shooting chart, and it’s surely only a matter of when he starts finding his groove again. Sean Dyche’s men will naturally be up against it, but if they do get a result expect marksman Andre Gray to be the main contributor.

*Legal disclaimer: Quotations fictitious unless stated otherwise. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Thanks for reading Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 28. This article was written by Bryan Cooper

Follow @bry_cooper

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