Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 33

Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 33

Welcome to Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 33. I’ve always admired the positivity of hitchhikers; after all, every time I drive past one, they’re holding their thumbs up. So yesterday, instead of merely slowing down to reciprocate the gesture, I decided to stop and accommodate one on my journey. My fellow traveller on this occasion turned out to be none other than a certain David Moyles* (*Name changed to protect real identity). Among the many topics we discussed were borderline red cards, vigilante retribution against female journalists and, fortunately for this tame segue, who to captain in FPL Gameweek 33.

5. Alexis Sanchez (Middlesbrough v Arsenal)
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[/three_fifth]The DGW’s loom ever nearer, and many managers have long since started stockpiling in advance. One popular asset is Alexis Sanchez, who will likely feature in most teams come the latter stages. Those that already have him however will be lamenting his recent output (7pts in 3 games), yet perhaps heartened by a visible improvement in his application on the pitch (a respectable 4 goal attempts against Palace in a dire team display). “Aye, he’s been a wee bit cheeky this season.”, reflects David as we pull out onto the A1, “He should watch himself or he might get a slap, even though he’s a 4ft 5in Chilean.”

Cause for hope lies in opponents Middlesbrough, a team with all the attacking ambition of Mahatma Gandhi on valium. So expect free shooting practice for the Gunners. One may flag up Boro’s gutsy goalless draw in October as a cautionary tale, but it will be interesting to see how the pressure of their current relegation battle manifests itself against the bruised egos of Wenger’s men.

4. Sergio Aguero (Southampton v Man City)
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[/three_fifth]The absence of early FPL pin-up Jesus, still poised on the sidelines for his reportedly imminent second coming, has seen a resurrection in the fortunes of City’s original messiah. 5 goals and 2 assists in his previous 6 games has been the most consistent spell of a relatively unsettled season by Sergio Aguero’s lofty standards. He’s had more shots; shots inside the box; and shots on target, than any of his peers during this rich vein of form. However, St. Mary’s will be as tough a place as any right now, as evidenced by their resilient rearguard display at The Hawthorns last weekend.

There are still concerns about the Argentine’s long-term prospects at the Etihad, but surely even if Jesus does return before the end of the season, Pep knows he’d get crucified in the press for dropping Aguero, who will surely remain nailed on.

3. Harry Kane (Spurs v Bournemouth)
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[/three_fifth]Vincent Janssen’s dismal contribution while goals flew in around him, during the demolition of Watford, was less like a deer caught in headlights, and more like the unwitting subject of a humiliation-ritual, blinded in a bukkake crossfire. So despite being only 3rd here mainly due to a lack of recent game time, a half-match-fit Harry Kane is a more than acceptable passenger for the Spurs artillery to carry into battle right now.

Limited to 29 minutes last Saturday lunchtime, Kane curiously still managed to fire off as many shots as Eriksen, Alli and Janssen. He didn’t win the raffle that time, but with an overall goal conversion rate (26.76%) higher than even Lukaku, he may only need a few chances against a Jekyll and Hyde Bournemouth team to officially announce his return from injury.

2. Dele Alli (Spurs v Bournemouth)
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[/three_fifth]If there were two players David Moyles wouldn’t advise admonishing, he said, it would be Dele Alli and Heung-Min Son. “I was in Tescos and saw the two pranksters do something a wee bit cheeky in the baked goods aisle, so I went up to them and raised my hand to give them a good slap. The little rascals had me stuck in a 3 way handshake routine for 25 f***ing minutes.”

As alluded to earlier, Tottenham are playing like an orchestra with a multitude of virtuosos right now. ‘Alli, Eriksen & Son’ may sound like a family-owned electrician firm from the 1980’s but the trio have been live-wires in 2016/17, with and without ‘Arry’s spark. An average of 8.83 points over his last 6 outings suggests a fitting climax to a spectacular season for the recently turned 21-year-old.

1. Romelu Lukaku (Everton v Burnley)
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[/three_fifth]11 goals in 9 games. Nice. Just when the big Belgian’s wheels looked to be skidding beneath him, he came up with a classy double salvo against Leicester to restore traction in what has been a blistering campaign for the Premier League’s chart-topping marksman.

Well, Burnley still haven’t won away from home, and while it’s commendable that they plugged the leaks with meritorious stalemates at Sunderland and Middlesbrough, those are two of the easiest road trips they could’ve wished for to break their duck.

The Toffees, on the other hand, have the 3rd best home record, blemished only by December’s Merseyside derby defeat. Romelu clearly enjoys life in front of the Grand Old Lady too, with 12 of his last 13 goals coming at Goodison. I doubt even David Moyles ever felt that at home.

Thanks for reading Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 33. This article was written by Bryan Munich

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