We have another one for you! This time its my good friend Odddane who gives us the low-down on how his season and in particular his recent weeks have played out! Enjoy! Over to you OD!

The mysteries of OddDane’s inner workings, to which no one has an explanation.

This piece, I feel, should come with a disclaimer. Kids don’t try this at home or don’t drink and transfer, something to that effect… My season this year has been quite, let’s say subpar (Narrator; the word he is looking for is appalling), which is partly self-inflicted (we’ll get to that) but also… *breathe* counts to ten *exhale* let’s call it variance…

Last season was a bit off, however, this season has seen me doing not a few, but at least a handful of weeks with a 6,000,000 game week rank -or worse- (a good chunk of GWRs at ~5m too, bravo). In a way, I’m quite impressed with myself – that’s impressively poor form from one who (supposedly) follows the game somewhat actively!😊.

There’s been a few missed deadlines and the odd, self-arson of the team. That goes with the territory. This season has been something else though. I’ve revisited some of my, brilliant (!) ideas and season highlights below…

-a mind of a genius this here, really-

• WC10, the week of the wild(card) OddDane. A poor start, 5.8m GWR, but no one can beat the brilliant mind of… Wait, that can’t be right… W11, GWR 9.0m… Moving on…

• Weeks 13-15, goes early on RAN before it was cool, gets injured after 18 minutes of the first game in my team. Cash? Lasted 45 minutes, but takes a yellow, because #¤%!& me why do I still have him? Taylor scores 10 points as a first sub and a GWR of 9,606,827 in W15.

• Weeks 16-28, nothing eventful but how did Morono enter my team (and how has he managed more points on my bench than on the field)? Also, TC25, Haaland gets 10 points^3 (Watkins, Saka, and the single-game options gets 13 and 15 respectively). Wait, let’s remember to mention I went early on KdB in W22 and took a hit on Doku and Reguilón in W25, on what I’m just going to assume was a dare (out with Gusto+Palmer)…

• FH29, is a no-brainer right!? (narrator; yes, yes that’s right – you’ve got no brains, no brains at all)
Not only did my original team score more than my free hit, but my bench did too. I hate you Reguilón, with all my heart. You too, past OddDane, you absolute clown. Muniz scored the same as my entire team (full xi), sitting comfortably as the first sub with a smug grin on his face…

• GW30-32, Emerson (0) over Gabriel (+6), oups. Salah or Palmer cap? Must be Salah! (gets 59’ sub, whilst Palmer gets 20pts, somehow…). Hmm now let’s try and start Dubra (2) over Neto (9). Ok, let’s switch back to Neto (+4), Dubra (+9)… Also, Reguilón, somehow still in my team, takes 2 assists and some bonus points before rolling around laughing on the floor as my third sub…

I think that should be enough for now, but other good some thoughts are going early on Richarlison (and not getting him when he was on form), tentative on Palmer and getting him when everyone and their dogs and cats have him. Foden… Foden who? Right? (Narrator; you blithering idiot, you…).

So anyway, the plan of the genius is, to trade myself into a 9-10 doublers in DGW34, with Palmer and Haaland being the like single-game candidates. Money is tight, but if I’m lucky with the price (Narrator; he was not.) I can get there without taking any hits. Thereafter I will repeat my past wildcard success (Narrator; …) and set up a team of doublers for weeks 35-37 with the hopes of a bench boost somewhere along the lines of DGW37. Let’s see if I can follow this train of thought come tomorrow.

So, to conclude, my best advice for this season I’ve found is… -­I’m speaking to you, present OddDane, sharpen your blistering blundering birdbrain and pay attention you blabber-mouthed parakeet!-

…drumroll, to take the advice I give and apply it (‘tis seldom the case, apparently [insert facepalm emoji]) and failing that, the rest of you should have a hard look at the near deadline decisions of this here team – and make sure you do something else! 😊

Inside The Mind Of An FPL Player Gameweek 33 Part 2

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