New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Bamford, Lens, Mitrovic, Kaboul

New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Bamford, Lens, Mitrovic, Kaboul

Popular Eurovision beat combo, Bucks Fizz, once sang, “Don’t let your indecision take you from behind”. Wise words indeed. With barely a week left until the first ball of a new season is kicked, most FPL gaffers will be fairly settled with their squad. And judging by Twitter, everyone has pretty much the same squad anyway. But it’s landing on those final 2 or 3 places that cause the most anguish. Tick. 5 days left, and that 3rd striker slot is obviously Deeney’s. But wait… Patrick who? Oh. Well he’s the one. Tock. 2 days left, Mitrovic. Mitrovic! Maybe. Tick. Then those final minutes; the painfully slow logging in as the Premier League website grinds to a Berbatov-like jog. It’s not enough time. It’s not enough time! Tock. Time up. Don’t let your indecision take you from behind.

Here are some words about footballers.

PATRICK BAMFORD (Crystal Palace – Forward – £6.0mln)
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Selhurst Park’s new recruit is so defined by his perpetually nomadic existence that he may be better served changing his name to ‘On loan from Chelsea’. It’s not the most shirt-friendly name to have on one’s back, but why should Jan Venegoor of Hesselink have all the fun? ‘OLFC’ joined the Blues in 2012 and has chalked up 43 goals in just shy of a century of games, taking in the sights of Milton Keynes, Derby and Middlesbrough. Unbelievably, he’s yet to play a single minute for Chelsea. But then, one can’t expect Jose to find room for a promising young English striker when (and this is just an example picked at random) he can pay £140k a week for a 29-year-old who scored 4 goals last season. On the bright side, at least Bamford can finally move to London now, and all the pre-season signs indicate his growth will continue along it’s parabolic path. A few more repeats of his tidy triple against Bromley last week and a return to the deed poll may be in order. ‘Hat-trick’ Patrick anyone?

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JEREMAIN LENS (Sunderland – Midfielder – £6.5mln)
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The arrival of Jeremain Lens gives the Black Cats some welcome balance, and now have genuine attacking width on either flank. We all know about the threat Adam Johnson poses, especially to [comment removed by legal team], but on the other wing it seems Advocaat has found talent to mirror the Englishman perfectly. A left-winger that likes to cut inside and look for goal certainly possesses the qualities to pique FPL interest. Coming from a mixed couple of seasons at Dynamo Kyiv, the Mackem masses will hope the Dutchman can recreate his PSV form which peaked in 2012/13, finding the net 15 times in 30 games. Furthermore, the Dutch Eredivisie saw him regularly register double figure assists. That the Sunderland manager’s brought him to the Stadium of Light is no great surprise, having worked with him at AZ Alkmaar then PSV. By all accounts Lens was the only positive to take from Sunderland’s recent woeful 2-0 defeat at Doncaster. If Dick’s boys can get their act together, his team’s kind start to the season could see fantasy managers soon switch their focus to Lens.

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ALEKSANDAR MITROVIC (Newcastle United – Forward – £6.5mln)
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At £12m, the 20 year-old Serbian international is the Magpies 4th most expensive ever capture. Admirably swatting away interest from both Roma and Porto, Newcastle have managed to secure a striker boasting a bumper 20 goal campaign in Belgium’s Jupiler Pro League (Nope, me neither). In fact, over his two seasons with Anderlecht he’s scored 36 times in 69 games. Impressive for someone so young, and it suggests McClaren has made a very shrewd investment. Self-styled on personal idols Didier Drogba and Alan Shearer, the 6ft 2in Mitrovic will hope to follow the latter into Geordie folklore, and not go the way of, say, Obafemi Martins or Michael Owen. Or Mark Viduka. Or Antoine Sibierski. Or Marlon Harewood. Or Emmanuel Riviere. Described by the new manager as “a real warrior” the Serb does currently lack match fitness and one wonders whether he’ll be thrown into the starting lineup straight away. But he’s definitely one for the Toon Army to get excited about.

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YOUNES KABOUL (Sunderland – Defence – £4.5mln)
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“Younes wouldn’t join Sunderland even if there was an earthquake. We have more interesting options than Sunderland. Don’t even think about it.” Yes. Those were the words of Younes Kaboul’s agent in 2008. Well, 7 years on and despite there being no earthquake, Kaboul clearly no longer had ‘more interesting options’. Not since Pascal Chimbonda, has a player’s arrival stirred such shoulder-shrugging apathy. In fact, this is probably the first most have heard about it. It’s hard to make a case for Kaboul as a fantasy option, when even teammates Van Aanholt and O’Shea have more appeal, and with only 3 goals in 5 years you don’t get much added value, even at £4.5m. He did however get given the armband in the second half of their Doncaster friendly, so one could argue that Advocaat trusts him and is likely to be a somewhat reliable fixture in his eleven. Barrel scraped. Straws clutched. Job done.

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Thanks for reading New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Bamford, Lens, Mitrovic, Kaboul. This article was written by Bryan Munich

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