New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Mings, Distin, Atsu
***FREE BOOZE**** ***SEX THINGS*** ***CASH GIVEAWAY***
Right, quick, lock the doors Mito!
Ok, now that I have your attention and the Colombian Mafia have the exits covered, I can tell you that this isn’t going to be the most exciting list of new arrivals you’re ever going to read. Sometimes life just deals you a rubbish hand. Sometimes you get the shitty end of the stick. And sometimes, you accidently park your car in Cookie’s space on the same day as he’s deciding who gets to write up which new players.
So then, let’s see what you make of this lot…
The Bournemouth Three. Mings, Distin and Atsu (Bless you!)
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[/three_fourth]Tyrone Mings (Bournemouth) Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has looked to strengthen his back line with record signing, £8m Tyrone Mings from Ipswich Town.
The 22 year old, ex-mortgage adviser, scored 1 goal and provided 4 assists in 40 starts for the Tractor Boys last season, and his signing will almost certainly mean Charlie Daniels loses his place as the regular starting left back.
If the vast amount of research I have done for this article is to be believed, he stands at a cloud-bothering 6ft 5ins tall, so as well as providing from the wings, he should also represent a decent threat from set pieces.
Fantasy view: As a record signing, he’ll be looking to impress. Along with opposite full back Francis and centre back Cook, he’s a contender for that important 5th defender slot.
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Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth)
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Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has… shamelessly used the same intro twice in a row.
As well as providing cover / rotation for regular centre back pairing Cook and Elphick, I expect that 37 year old Distin’s signing is as much about providing the squad with some valuable Premiership experience. Especially after their previous resident old man Ian Harte was released earlier this summer.
Distin only made 16 appearances for Everton last season, before leaving when his contract expired, so don’t expect a huge number of appearances. This is his second spell on the south coast after a 2 year stay at Portsmouth. Rumour has it that he’s working his way along the coast to Southampton in order to secure a guaranteed move to Liverpool in 2016.
Fantasy view: Only an option if he can secure a regular starting spot.
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Christian Atsu (Bless you!! Here, have a tissue. Thanks. Here you go. No no, you keep it.) (Bournemouth)
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The third of our Bournemouth three, is Chelsea winger Christian Atsu, (Bless you!!! Thanks. Sorry, the hay fever is really bad this year. Yeah, it really is. Eyes itching? Yeah, a little. That’s rough. So how’ve you been? Not bad, other than the hay fever. Family keeping well? The cat died, but other than that, we’re good. Thanks for asking) signed on a season-long loan.
The 23 year old Ghana international spent last season on loan at Everton, making just 5 Premiership appearances (mainly coming on for the last 5 minutes) and only 1 start. He also didn’t feature at all for the last 2 months of last season.
He’ll be hoping for more opportunities this time out, and his competition for a starting place will be considerably less than it was at Everton. He has a decent international pedigree – an international with over 30 caps, including runner-up at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations, in which he also won Player (and goal) of the tournament.
Fantasy view – Possible 5th Mid / bench fodder if cheap. Monitor in pre-season.
Sh*t-joke-potential – Awesome. Starting XI and captain every week.
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New Fixture Tracker added!
And whilst we have you, may we just bring your attention to the new fixture tracker that has been added. Last week we launched the Home & Away rotation tracker and both beauties can be found under the ‘Tips’ tab at the top and then under, unsurprisingly, ‘Fixture Tracker’ If that all sounds like too much hard work then here’s a quick link and also a picture of the dam thing if you’re uber lazy!…
Both have proved a massive hit on twitter. We hope you like them too.
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New article up about Free Booze, Sex and Cash
Many thanks Chins, good to have you back and stretching out your ramblings ahead of the season again.
I’m considering this my pre-season warm up Init. You can’t just go straight to 100% ramble. Especially after a concise summer break. The last thing the FF247 writing team needs is me out until Christmas again with a torn bullshit muscle.
So what i’m saying.. oh i forget. Anyway. Good to be about the place again and looking forward to another great season on the boards. Team set already. No changes from here until the night before kick off. It’s become a bit of a tradition in the chins household. I call it the “don’t effin talk to me, i’m stressed and i’m trying to fit Barton and Kieran Richardson in the same team” night.
:turtle:
Hahahaha
Torn bullshit muscle :big-lol:
Darn you and your sneaky tactics, chins, darn you!!
Nice job though, cheers mate. Mings looks a good shout.
Cheers Nin. I knew it had to be extra sneaky to catch the likes of you out….
😉
Great article, interesting, funny and I suppose informative on the Atsu side of things! Might be one to watch this season if the pricing is right! I’ll need some convincing on their defence though, Ming’s or not, I don’t know if they are good enough through the centre to hold off drones of attacks
Cheers THE T,
Although i wonder that by declaring yourself as the most inactive member of the site, you are already 300% more active than some. I mean i’m not going to get drawn into naming names. But i like to call him “Really Isnt Chatting Here”
Cough – the capitals spell out a name – cough
I reckon the name could do with a change at this point haha. At least his lack of activity means he won’t see our plans to plot against him, its all falling into place..
Does anyone have any info on Almen Abdi (Watford) ? Just wondering if his game-time will be enough to warrant a 5th mid spot. Cheers.
@Nin, according to what he played in the Championship, yes. Looks like he has had some fitness problems that might have cut down on the time he spent on the pitch. Looks like he has some quality to him, judging by how much Watford fans seem to rave about him. Obviously I can’t guarantee he starts or is worth it, but the little digging I did left me a touch impressed. Judging by some pre season games, he also seems to have a share of set pieces as I know he rattled the crossbar with a free kick. I guess we have to wait and see over the next couple of games to see if he is really going to hold a spot down worthy of our attention even if it is as a fifth mid.
Thanks Mito, much appreciated mate. Hmm, sounds like one to keep an eye on for sure. Set-pieces are always a big plus.
HELP PLEASE !
On the FPL home page it seems that I have to firstly pick a team before it will let me enter my code for Banterbury,( or any other code) am I correct? because it seems silly to have to do this first.
Just hit auto-select for your squad, then sort your leagues out :thumbup:
Hilarious and informative as always Chins, thanks for the run down on these guys. Great to pop on the boards and see new articles up and loads of chatter all day, so happy that FPL season is back!
Cheers Red. Always a pleasure sir.
Hope you’ve enjoyed your break. Did you manage to keep the off season fantasy free? We really need to get you into the MLS next season.
Red has a life mate, he will never join up.
Yeah, I took a couple of months off to relax and sleep in without having to race downstairs from my bed to my computer to change my captain pick at 6:25AM (my time) every Saturday morning. I don’t know how some of you guys can go year round without a little break- I’d be burned out (and probably divorced!) if I tried to pull that off I think.
And Mito is sort of right- not so much that I can’t play MLS because I have a life, more like a I have ‘honey-do’ list from the missus that’s a mile long by the time FPL finally winds down!