New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Mings, Distin, Atsu
***FREE BOOZE**** ***SEX THINGS*** ***CASH GIVEAWAY***
Right, quick, lock the doors Mito!
Ok, now that I have your attention and the Colombian Mafia have the exits covered, I can tell you that this isn’t going to be the most exciting list of new arrivals you’re ever going to read. Sometimes life just deals you a rubbish hand. Sometimes you get the shitty end of the stick. And sometimes, you accidently park your car in Cookie’s space on the same day as he’s deciding who gets to write up which new players.
So then, let’s see what you make of this lot…
The Bournemouth Three. Mings, Distin and Atsu (Bless you!)
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[/three_fourth]Tyrone Mings (Bournemouth) Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has looked to strengthen his back line with record signing, £8m Tyrone Mings from Ipswich Town.
The 22 year old, ex-mortgage adviser, scored 1 goal and provided 4 assists in 40 starts for the Tractor Boys last season, and his signing will almost certainly mean Charlie Daniels loses his place as the regular starting left back.
If the vast amount of research I have done for this article is to be believed, he stands at a cloud-bothering 6ft 5ins tall, so as well as providing from the wings, he should also represent a decent threat from set pieces.
Fantasy view: As a record signing, he’ll be looking to impress. Along with opposite full back Francis and centre back Cook, he’s a contender for that important 5th defender slot.
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Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth)
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Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has… shamelessly used the same intro twice in a row.
As well as providing cover / rotation for regular centre back pairing Cook and Elphick, I expect that 37 year old Distin’s signing is as much about providing the squad with some valuable Premiership experience. Especially after their previous resident old man Ian Harte was released earlier this summer.
Distin only made 16 appearances for Everton last season, before leaving when his contract expired, so don’t expect a huge number of appearances. This is his second spell on the south coast after a 2 year stay at Portsmouth. Rumour has it that he’s working his way along the coast to Southampton in order to secure a guaranteed move to Liverpool in 2016.
Fantasy view: Only an option if he can secure a regular starting spot.
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Christian Atsu (Bless you!! Here, have a tissue. Thanks. Here you go. No no, you keep it.) (Bournemouth)
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The third of our Bournemouth three, is Chelsea winger Christian Atsu, (Bless you!!! Thanks. Sorry, the hay fever is really bad this year. Yeah, it really is. Eyes itching? Yeah, a little. That’s rough. So how’ve you been? Not bad, other than the hay fever. Family keeping well? The cat died, but other than that, we’re good. Thanks for asking) signed on a season-long loan.
The 23 year old Ghana international spent last season on loan at Everton, making just 5 Premiership appearances (mainly coming on for the last 5 minutes) and only 1 start. He also didn’t feature at all for the last 2 months of last season.
He’ll be hoping for more opportunities this time out, and his competition for a starting place will be considerably less than it was at Everton. He has a decent international pedigree – an international with over 30 caps, including runner-up at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations, in which he also won Player (and goal) of the tournament.
Fantasy view – Possible 5th Mid / bench fodder if cheap. Monitor in pre-season.
Sh*t-joke-potential – Awesome. Starting XI and captain every week.
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New Fixture Tracker added!
And whilst we have you, may we just bring your attention to the new fixture tracker that has been added. Last week we launched the Home & Away rotation tracker and both beauties can be found under the ‘Tips’ tab at the top and then under, unsurprisingly, ‘Fixture Tracker’ If that all sounds like too much hard work then here’s a quick link and also a picture of the dam thing if you’re uber lazy!…
Both have proved a massive hit on twitter. We hope you like them too.
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Evening all,
Any opinions on my 1st draft of the season?
Not convinced by my 4.5 defenders nor wanayama & Ritchie
Don’t like Wanyama in there mate maybe downgrade Ritchie to Mahrez and upgrade Wanyama. Also I’d sell Morgan Kop says he’s been playing in two tournaments for Jamaica so might miss the first few Gws
Cheers Matt
Yeah I’m unsure about Morgan since the tinker an took charge anyway. Prefer Ki to Mahrez for the same reason.
Any 5.0 mids you like the look of as the wanayama upgrade?
I’m having both Ki and Mahrez they rotate really well so maybe you could squeeze an extra .5 mil and sell Wanyama and Ritchie to Mahrez and Ki as I don’t really like any mids at 5.0 mil either.
If you can’t maybe Harry Arter could be a good 5 mil midfielder
Thanks I will take a look at arter.
There’s a real lack of starting mid options under 5.5 this year I think
Ye there really is. All the prices are extremely high.
Hey guys, was it gkw that was the big Watford supporter? Has anyone seen him on the boards for FPL pre-season? I’d love to get his views on a few of the budget Watford players.
Definitely was GKW but I haven’t seen him yet but I’d like to get his opinions too.
Probably still getting pissed over the promotion. 😮
Hi Red, hope all’s good there pal. He disappeared about 6 weeks prior to the end of last season. He was writing some great articles for us for FFFix and then just dropped off the end of the earth. Messaged him a few times as has Kop I believe but got no response at all. Hope he’s ok but all a bit strange. You just never know I guess.
Hey init, all is right in the world now that I have my favorite hobby to get back into! Hope things are well with you too.
That is really strange about gkw. I figured he’d be back on here all the time this season blaring Elton John and lording it over us with his club back in the big league. Hope everything’s OK with him, thanks for the info.
Anyone like my new grav?
No
:smiling:
Is it Gary Coleman?
Whatchu talking bout, Willi errr… Kop?
*Willis
Oh dear!
I prefer this one. Him playing twister with Terry. 😉
On a more serious note, 70 million Euros? Crazy money. YOu could get 2 players of same talent and in better form.
Alexis Sanchez – £32m
Hazard – £32m
Ozil – £42.5m
Fabregas – £30m
Diego Costa – £32m
Aguero – £38m
Sterling – £49m
What separates Sterling from those players are two things:
1: He’s an English talent
2: He was bought from a rivaling club
Those two factors make the price much higher than if a player of similar quality and talent was bought from another league, which is the case with all the players you listed. Price is still to high for my liking, though.
Stupid to pay that amount for a playing that is out of favor at the club he’s at (not just that, the fans are disgusted with him), a dude that showed bad attitude and someone that has had a rather poor season. That being said, he’s a legit talent and he’ll be in my FPL team for sure.
I think he’ll be a good player for us, Raz. Grandpa Pellegrini will help him behave.
Teks, he behaved at our place until that tw*t of an agent of his started spouting stupid stuff. Aidy Ward don’t give 2 titties about Sterling, hes just lining his own pockets. In a couple of years he’ll be at it again.
I surpose I will have to retire for the night up @ 6 I will sort my cricket team out tomorrow see you all tm
Kop/Chins
Thanks for the articles guys.
Milner’s stats in his last season at Villa stand out don’t they?
And Chins, they stuck you with Bournemouth, mate? Ah bless you pal, someone had to . . .
I see Schneiderlin (5,5), Darmian (5,5) and Schweini (7m) have been added to United. Also Wijnaldum to Newcastle for 7m.
Also noticed United have a late friday game versus Aston Villa away, 19:45 in a regular weekend GW? Odd. Anyone know the reason? As far as I can tell (from the first 12 GW’s) that’s a 1 of a kind.
Hi Raz, it’s a scheduling issue. GP explained it to me the other day and I can’t honestly remember the exact reason right now but it has to do with the CL and some other event in Birmingham that weekend and the police said it had to be moved and Friday was the only option. We don’t officially move to Friday games until the season after so this is a one-off this year.
Init
Thanks for listening :big-lol:
GP, Init never listens to me. :p
If an Elle gets shot in the woods and nobody hears it, did it really happen? :shiftyeyes:
Friday matches are now an option but this is said to be a one-off. It’s because united have a champions league game the following week so it can’t be on Sunday or Monday. And it can’t be on Saturday because there’s an EDL protest happening on that Saturday in Birmingham.
Hi Bihom
Exactly this Raz ^^
It’s because United have a Champions league qualifier so their match was pushed back. I belive a Friday night game will be a regular thing not this season but the next one.
Raz
Police reasons. They can’t guarantee security due to other events in Birmingham on the Saturday.
I get it GP, all of the above. 😉