New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Mings, Distin, Atsu
***FREE BOOZE**** ***SEX THINGS*** ***CASH GIVEAWAY***
Right, quick, lock the doors Mito!
Ok, now that I have your attention and the Colombian Mafia have the exits covered, I can tell you that this isn’t going to be the most exciting list of new arrivals you’re ever going to read. Sometimes life just deals you a rubbish hand. Sometimes you get the shitty end of the stick. And sometimes, you accidently park your car in Cookie’s space on the same day as he’s deciding who gets to write up which new players.
So then, let’s see what you make of this lot…
The Bournemouth Three. Mings, Distin and Atsu (Bless you!)
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[/three_fourth]Tyrone Mings (Bournemouth) Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has looked to strengthen his back line with record signing, £8m Tyrone Mings from Ipswich Town.
The 22 year old, ex-mortgage adviser, scored 1 goal and provided 4 assists in 40 starts for the Tractor Boys last season, and his signing will almost certainly mean Charlie Daniels loses his place as the regular starting left back.
If the vast amount of research I have done for this article is to be believed, he stands at a cloud-bothering 6ft 5ins tall, so as well as providing from the wings, he should also represent a decent threat from set pieces.
Fantasy view: As a record signing, he’ll be looking to impress. Along with opposite full back Francis and centre back Cook, he’s a contender for that important 5th defender slot.
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Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth)
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Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has… shamelessly used the same intro twice in a row.
As well as providing cover / rotation for regular centre back pairing Cook and Elphick, I expect that 37 year old Distin’s signing is as much about providing the squad with some valuable Premiership experience. Especially after their previous resident old man Ian Harte was released earlier this summer.
Distin only made 16 appearances for Everton last season, before leaving when his contract expired, so don’t expect a huge number of appearances. This is his second spell on the south coast after a 2 year stay at Portsmouth. Rumour has it that he’s working his way along the coast to Southampton in order to secure a guaranteed move to Liverpool in 2016.
Fantasy view: Only an option if he can secure a regular starting spot.
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Christian Atsu (Bless you!! Here, have a tissue. Thanks. Here you go. No no, you keep it.) (Bournemouth)
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The third of our Bournemouth three, is Chelsea winger Christian Atsu, (Bless you!!! Thanks. Sorry, the hay fever is really bad this year. Yeah, it really is. Eyes itching? Yeah, a little. That’s rough. So how’ve you been? Not bad, other than the hay fever. Family keeping well? The cat died, but other than that, we’re good. Thanks for asking) signed on a season-long loan.
The 23 year old Ghana international spent last season on loan at Everton, making just 5 Premiership appearances (mainly coming on for the last 5 minutes) and only 1 start. He also didn’t feature at all for the last 2 months of last season.
He’ll be hoping for more opportunities this time out, and his competition for a starting place will be considerably less than it was at Everton. He has a decent international pedigree – an international with over 30 caps, including runner-up at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations, in which he also won Player (and goal) of the tournament.
Fantasy view – Possible 5th Mid / bench fodder if cheap. Monitor in pre-season.
Sh*t-joke-potential – Awesome. Starting XI and captain every week.
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New Fixture Tracker added!
And whilst we have you, may we just bring your attention to the new fixture tracker that has been added. Last week we launched the Home & Away rotation tracker and both beauties can be found under the ‘Tips’ tab at the top and then under, unsurprisingly, ‘Fixture Tracker’ If that all sounds like too much hard work then here’s a quick link and also a picture of the dam thing if you’re uber lazy!…
Both have proved a massive hit on twitter. We hope you like them too.
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Guys just watching this Everton and Stoke game but I’m just wondering what happens if it stays a draw as the Arsenal game is scheduled for 30 mins after full time?? Is it just straight to penos? ?
Geeeeeeeeeezzzzzz, the amount of Dutchies signing for EPL clubs is astonishing. Clasie signed for Soton and it seems Steven Berghuis is going to Watford. I seriously doubt that move is a wise choice, but whatever. He’s technically gifted but doesn’t have the physique. Kind of fun to see so many Dutch players in the EPL, even though they might not be the best players. Not yet anyway. Depay was just bombed greatest talent of Europe above Sterling whom cost twice as much. Bwahahahar .:P
Anyway, I might’ve forgotten a few names but new Dutchies to enter the EPL:
Memphis Depay, Wijnaldum, Jordie Clasie, Maarten Stekelenburg. Deals that will probably be completed soon are Jermaine Lens (to Sunderland) and Steven Berghuis (to Watford). Plus the market is far from closed, I think Dick Advocaat and Koeman might shop a bit more in Holland. If United sell DDG and can’t get Hugo Lloris I expect LvG to go for Jasper Cilessen.
Do you thk Hennessey might get the nod ahead of Myhill if the transfer goes though
Sky sources understand West Brom are expected to make a bid for Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey.
Silvers,
Until Foster is fit, I would expect so. Although I’d stay put if I was Hennessey. Better claims on the Palace No. 1 jersey than the WBA one.
This would be a very good move & maybe good for FPL West Ham are preparing a big for Manchester United striker Javier Hernandez, according to various reports.
The Daily Mail claims the Hammers have been interested since last summer and are now ready to make an £8m move for the Mexico international.
Would be great – he’s only 6m on FPL!
There appears to be peeps commenting that may not have seen my recent posts. I am starting a new classic league this season for regular posters on the site, there will also be a cup competition aswell. So, can you e-mail me please giving your regular site name, your real name and the name of your fantasy football team, so when people ask me who someone is i can tell them, cheers.
E-mail address is :- Elleffcee@fantasyfootball247.co.uk
For those who have already e-mailed me, the code has been sent back to you. Cheers.
All aboard the Akpom bandwagon? 😉