New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Mings, Distin, Atsu
***FREE BOOZE**** ***SEX THINGS*** ***CASH GIVEAWAY***
Right, quick, lock the doors Mito!
Ok, now that I have your attention and the Colombian Mafia have the exits covered, I can tell you that this isn’t going to be the most exciting list of new arrivals you’re ever going to read. Sometimes life just deals you a rubbish hand. Sometimes you get the shitty end of the stick. And sometimes, you accidently park your car in Cookie’s space on the same day as he’s deciding who gets to write up which new players.
So then, let’s see what you make of this lot…
The Bournemouth Three. Mings, Distin and Atsu (Bless you!)
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[/three_fourth]Tyrone Mings (Bournemouth) Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has looked to strengthen his back line with record signing, £8m Tyrone Mings from Ipswich Town.
The 22 year old, ex-mortgage adviser, scored 1 goal and provided 4 assists in 40 starts for the Tractor Boys last season, and his signing will almost certainly mean Charlie Daniels loses his place as the regular starting left back.
If the vast amount of research I have done for this article is to be believed, he stands at a cloud-bothering 6ft 5ins tall, so as well as providing from the wings, he should also represent a decent threat from set pieces.
Fantasy view: As a record signing, he’ll be looking to impress. Along with opposite full back Francis and centre back Cook, he’s a contender for that important 5th defender slot.
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Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth)
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Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has… shamelessly used the same intro twice in a row.
As well as providing cover / rotation for regular centre back pairing Cook and Elphick, I expect that 37 year old Distin’s signing is as much about providing the squad with some valuable Premiership experience. Especially after their previous resident old man Ian Harte was released earlier this summer.
Distin only made 16 appearances for Everton last season, before leaving when his contract expired, so don’t expect a huge number of appearances. This is his second spell on the south coast after a 2 year stay at Portsmouth. Rumour has it that he’s working his way along the coast to Southampton in order to secure a guaranteed move to Liverpool in 2016.
Fantasy view: Only an option if he can secure a regular starting spot.
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Christian Atsu (Bless you!! Here, have a tissue. Thanks. Here you go. No no, you keep it.) (Bournemouth)
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The third of our Bournemouth three, is Chelsea winger Christian Atsu, (Bless you!!! Thanks. Sorry, the hay fever is really bad this year. Yeah, it really is. Eyes itching? Yeah, a little. That’s rough. So how’ve you been? Not bad, other than the hay fever. Family keeping well? The cat died, but other than that, we’re good. Thanks for asking) signed on a season-long loan.
The 23 year old Ghana international spent last season on loan at Everton, making just 5 Premiership appearances (mainly coming on for the last 5 minutes) and only 1 start. He also didn’t feature at all for the last 2 months of last season.
He’ll be hoping for more opportunities this time out, and his competition for a starting place will be considerably less than it was at Everton. He has a decent international pedigree – an international with over 30 caps, including runner-up at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations, in which he also won Player (and goal) of the tournament.
Fantasy view – Possible 5th Mid / bench fodder if cheap. Monitor in pre-season.
Sh*t-joke-potential – Awesome. Starting XI and captain every week.
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New Fixture Tracker added!
And whilst we have you, may we just bring your attention to the new fixture tracker that has been added. Last week we launched the Home & Away rotation tracker and both beauties can be found under the ‘Tips’ tab at the top and then under, unsurprisingly, ‘Fixture Tracker’ If that all sounds like too much hard work then here’s a quick link and also a picture of the dam thing if you’re uber lazy!…
Both have proved a massive hit on twitter. We hope you like them too.
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Hi all. This is probably the best team I’ve come up with so far. Thoughts?
Hi Tom,
A couple of things jump out at me;
– You’ve got defensive coverage from each a the 3 promoted teams which is a bit of a gamble.
– I’m not sure doubling up on the Leicester attack is such a good idea particularly now Ranieri is in charge. Even if Pearson was still in charge I’m not sure they’d have been as good as they were at the end of last season.
– Personally I want to see how the Liverpool defence shapes up before I consider any of them.
Kop He who have little faith in the Pool Def , I will stay clear. 😉
Great. Thanks for the advice Kop! Will reconsider and rearrange
BREAKING NEWS
Middlesbrough agree fee of £5m with West Ham for Stewart Downing and he’ll join the club subject to a medical, according to Sky Sources. The fee will rise to £7m if they’re promoted.
Surprised West Ham are getting rid to be honest…..
So am I, but he obviously wasn’t part of Bilic’s plans.
Singapore Select XI 0 – 4 Arsenal
Akpom (30, 76 pen, 79), Wilshere (60 pen)
Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/match-menu/179337/first-team/singapore-select-xi-v-arsenal#krE7wKvZA9um42mH.99
Can anyone please recommend 2 or 3 defenders who are going to play worth 4 million ……cheers
At this stage you’ll be lucky to find 1 never mind 2 or 3! 😉
Higher percentage on Baker of Villa, cant see him starting. I’m thinking one of the Bournemouth or Watford players
Mate there is barely 1 starting 4 mil defender let alone 2 or 3. We all thought Hoban would start but that’s looking less and less likely so truthfully I don’t think there is any.
There’s bound to be one or two between Norwich, Watford and Bournemouth.
Just had a look the 4 mil defenders I think might have a chance of playing are Ryan Bennett from Norwich, Pudil and Hoban from Watford then there’s Baker and them that played in the league last year.
My Team so far any tips?
Defence is fairly weak mate, upgrades need to be made.
Puncheon needs to go for the first few weeks atleast as the Palace fixtures are difficult.
Also I just read Middlesbrough and West Ham have agreed a fee for Downing.
Who would you recommend if Downing goes, I have him aswell
Ki and then the extra .5 can be used elsewhere.
I have Ki as well
Hmm put up your full team mate and ill try have a look.
Had a little change around and got this.
Fonte needs to be starting anyway haha.
Matic needs to go anyway just don’t think he’s any help I would have suggested Pugh or Arter from Bournemouth but you already have Ritchie so I’m not sure who to replace him with.
For anyone who missed it yesterday here was a quick post. If we give these players the same minutes as Haz 3373 we get this surprising result.
Haz: 233
Silva: 242
Sanchez: 237
Chadli: 224
Mata: 202
Among mids who logged I least 2000 minutes those were the only ones that projected out would have cracked the 200 FPL points barrier if given the same minutes Haz accrued.
So Silva would have been the best player last season. That’s interesting to see bit surprised by Chadli being there.
Yeah Matt I was a bit surprised myself. If anyone needs a quick comparison between two players or a small group just let me know. I will be working behind the scenes on Grab, Avoid and Bore off article, so I will check in.
Mito, if you don’t already have this could you include ‘which United/Arsenal/City/Liverpool/Chelsea attackers do we all need to get? Thanks!
I actually do have a group for you if you don’t mind.
Sterling vs Silva
Milner vs Henderson.
Need some help on deciding between them. Especially Milner and Hendo
@Veer, unfortunately I am just editing the article as is already done. There is some talk that relates to that a little so you shouldn’t be completely disappointed.
@Matt, Ok I will give them all a run at. I will give them all 3420 minutes which is the equivalent of playing 90 minutes in all 38 games. Obviously that is highly unlikely to happen but I least it will give them a fair shake.
Cheers Mito even a little bit will help. Whenever you get round to it.
Hey Mito. Thanks for the reminder, i was meant to ask this yesterday. Could you do the same as above, but this time use Cazorla, Sterling and Mane?
Mito, how about a comparison between Arsenal mids? Cazorla, Ramsey, Ozil, Walcott, and Sanchez.
I was just being nice you bastards, I didn’t expect anyone to take me up on it.
Fck will get working on all of them now and post a bit later.
Make it snappy :hippo:
Wow! Thanks Mito for this as well. I was torn between the Hazard/YYT/Mignolet and Fabregas/Silva/Courtois dilemma. This goes some way. I was skeptical about leaving Silva out, which seems justified by this analysis. More please.