New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Mings, Distin, Atsu
***FREE BOOZE**** ***SEX THINGS*** ***CASH GIVEAWAY***
Right, quick, lock the doors Mito!
Ok, now that I have your attention and the Colombian Mafia have the exits covered, I can tell you that this isn’t going to be the most exciting list of new arrivals you’re ever going to read. Sometimes life just deals you a rubbish hand. Sometimes you get the shitty end of the stick. And sometimes, you accidently park your car in Cookie’s space on the same day as he’s deciding who gets to write up which new players.
So then, let’s see what you make of this lot…
The Bournemouth Three. Mings, Distin and Atsu (Bless you!)
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[/three_fourth]Tyrone Mings (Bournemouth) Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has looked to strengthen his back line with record signing, £8m Tyrone Mings from Ipswich Town.
The 22 year old, ex-mortgage adviser, scored 1 goal and provided 4 assists in 40 starts for the Tractor Boys last season, and his signing will almost certainly mean Charlie Daniels loses his place as the regular starting left back.
If the vast amount of research I have done for this article is to be believed, he stands at a cloud-bothering 6ft 5ins tall, so as well as providing from the wings, he should also represent a decent threat from set pieces.
Fantasy view: As a record signing, he’ll be looking to impress. Along with opposite full back Francis and centre back Cook, he’s a contender for that important 5th defender slot.
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Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth)
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Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has… shamelessly used the same intro twice in a row.
As well as providing cover / rotation for regular centre back pairing Cook and Elphick, I expect that 37 year old Distin’s signing is as much about providing the squad with some valuable Premiership experience. Especially after their previous resident old man Ian Harte was released earlier this summer.
Distin only made 16 appearances for Everton last season, before leaving when his contract expired, so don’t expect a huge number of appearances. This is his second spell on the south coast after a 2 year stay at Portsmouth. Rumour has it that he’s working his way along the coast to Southampton in order to secure a guaranteed move to Liverpool in 2016.
Fantasy view: Only an option if he can secure a regular starting spot.
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Christian Atsu (Bless you!! Here, have a tissue. Thanks. Here you go. No no, you keep it.) (Bournemouth)
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The third of our Bournemouth three, is Chelsea winger Christian Atsu, (Bless you!!! Thanks. Sorry, the hay fever is really bad this year. Yeah, it really is. Eyes itching? Yeah, a little. That’s rough. So how’ve you been? Not bad, other than the hay fever. Family keeping well? The cat died, but other than that, we’re good. Thanks for asking) signed on a season-long loan.
The 23 year old Ghana international spent last season on loan at Everton, making just 5 Premiership appearances (mainly coming on for the last 5 minutes) and only 1 start. He also didn’t feature at all for the last 2 months of last season.
He’ll be hoping for more opportunities this time out, and his competition for a starting place will be considerably less than it was at Everton. He has a decent international pedigree – an international with over 30 caps, including runner-up at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations, in which he also won Player (and goal) of the tournament.
Fantasy view – Possible 5th Mid / bench fodder if cheap. Monitor in pre-season.
Sh*t-joke-potential – Awesome. Starting XI and captain every week.
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New Fixture Tracker added!
And whilst we have you, may we just bring your attention to the new fixture tracker that has been added. Last week we launched the Home & Away rotation tracker and both beauties can be found under the ‘Tips’ tab at the top and then under, unsurprisingly, ‘Fixture Tracker’ If that all sounds like too much hard work then here’s a quick link and also a picture of the dam thing if you’re uber lazy!…
Both have proved a massive hit on twitter. We hope you like them too.
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Good morning. Thanks Chins another cracking article here, very funny! pretty useless when it comes to fantasy footy info but I know that wasn’t your mandate for the article so well done pal keep up the good work! 😉
Any news on Vlaar transfer ????
I feel this is a very strong team at the minute. What you guys think?.
Morning Ant Walcott is still not a guaranteed starter if he was he would be FPL gold , not sure on the Pools Def capabilities might also be better to down grd Clyne to a 5m def & get a 2nd playing keeper , some douts over Morgan starting 1st few games otherwise looks good
Please solve 4 math problems before you enter the site. I mean, really? AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I got the first 2 correct, last one was with my nick and it wasn’t just 1 but 2 math problems. YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Awesome article chin on balls.
5.5m for Darmian
7m for Basti
Good price for Darmian.
Anyone going to get Schweinsteiger?
He’s only ever scored more than 5 goals in a season once in his career, great signing but I’m not sure just yet how fantasy relevant he’ll be yet.
Straight in my team!
I mean Darmian not Schweinsteiger.
Yeah, not bad prices for either really. I expect both to get a steady stream of points but it may be rare that either has a ‘blow-out’ week.
Morning!
Ruddy / Rudd
Azpilecueta / Mings / Richards / Coates / Huth
Hazard / Sterling / Depay / Chadli / Ritchie
Aguero / Gomis / Deeney
Worth swapping Azpi out for Arsenal defender for some Arsenal coverage as I currently have none.
Sterling/Depay -> Cazorla/Rambo is another option. Koscielny is probably a better shout than Azpilicueta, though.
NIN, not think Sterling/ Depay are good picks? Thinking Azpi to Kosc like you said.
There’s nothing wrong with either pick, not by a long shot. Just thought i’d throw it out there as generally Arsenal coverage is best when it’s an attacker. It’s a nice midfield though. ?’s over Chadli, but nothing new there.
Ok, cheers. Why you have questions over Chadli? Surely he’ll start? How much is your 5th midfielder by the way?
Chadli just wasn’t one to be relied on last year. He did really well in fits and bursts but also had some long, cold spells where flip all happened. Again, not saying he’s a bad pick, but he is one that comes with some risk.
I have nothing even remotely close to a potential final squad but i’d imagine my 5th mid will be 5.5m at most.
Yeah, true, Isn’t really any options though apart from Milner/ Hendo. Going for 5 in mid?
Schweinsteiger is another option at 7 million Star67
Those two bring risk too. There’s plenty of time yet so more will be clear to us in a week or two. I know Palace have some really bogey games to begin with, but Cabaye is an expert set-piece taker. I watched a YT video or two last night to reming myself of how much of a disaster he is from dead ball situations. He’s amazing value at 6.5m
Schweingsteiger and Ramsey for Depay & Chadli?
Preseason will determine that one 😉
@Nin and Star, I believe Chadli is very good value for 7.0
In part his erratic scoring could be blamed on his dad dying, after that he was not the same. Right at the end we got a glimpse of what he looked like at the start of the season. Despite the fact that he had a bad spell his numbers projected out by some quick calculations are comparable to the top mids.
If we give these players the same minutes as Haz 3373 we get this surprising result.
Haz: 233
Silva: 242
Sanchez: 237
Chadli: 224
Mata: 202
Among mids who logged I least 2000 minutes those were the only ones that projected out would have cracked the 200 barrier if given the same minutes Haz accrued.
Great stuff mito, those are very interesting figures. Shows the power of player who are naturally fit too, eh? These stats have surprised me i must admit..
Cheers, Mito! Any thoughts on my team?
Good stuff Mito.
@Star I wouldn’t be willing to grab Sterling from the start, but I am sure you will find differing opinion on that. Depay I am really high on, but that could be the Fifa 15 in me talking. Azpi to Kos sounds reasonable considering Arsenal’s fixtures. My biggest problem would be having Gomis and Deeney. I don’t like taking what amount to two punts on forward spots. Deeney looks good value, but he is still a punt until he proves himself in the EPL.
Would you go for Ramsey instead of Sterling, then? Think Depay will do well this year. Don’t think Gomis is a risk? Proved he can bag a few last year?