New Signings – Fantasy Premier League 2015/16. Mings, Distin, Atsu
***FREE BOOZE**** ***SEX THINGS*** ***CASH GIVEAWAY***
Right, quick, lock the doors Mito!
Ok, now that I have your attention and the Colombian Mafia have the exits covered, I can tell you that this isn’t going to be the most exciting list of new arrivals you’re ever going to read. Sometimes life just deals you a rubbish hand. Sometimes you get the shitty end of the stick. And sometimes, you accidently park your car in Cookie’s space on the same day as he’s deciding who gets to write up which new players.
So then, let’s see what you make of this lot…
The Bournemouth Three. Mings, Distin and Atsu (Bless you!)
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[/three_fourth]Tyrone Mings (Bournemouth) Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has looked to strengthen his back line with record signing, £8m Tyrone Mings from Ipswich Town.
The 22 year old, ex-mortgage adviser, scored 1 goal and provided 4 assists in 40 starts for the Tractor Boys last season, and his signing will almost certainly mean Charlie Daniels loses his place as the regular starting left back.
If the vast amount of research I have done for this article is to be believed, he stands at a cloud-bothering 6ft 5ins tall, so as well as providing from the wings, he should also represent a decent threat from set pieces.
Fantasy view: As a record signing, he’ll be looking to impress. Along with opposite full back Francis and centre back Cook, he’s a contender for that important 5th defender slot.
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Sylvain Distin (Bournemouth)
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Not content with a league leading number of clean sheets last season, Eddie Howe has… shamelessly used the same intro twice in a row.
As well as providing cover / rotation for regular centre back pairing Cook and Elphick, I expect that 37 year old Distin’s signing is as much about providing the squad with some valuable Premiership experience. Especially after their previous resident old man Ian Harte was released earlier this summer.
Distin only made 16 appearances for Everton last season, before leaving when his contract expired, so don’t expect a huge number of appearances. This is his second spell on the south coast after a 2 year stay at Portsmouth. Rumour has it that he’s working his way along the coast to Southampton in order to secure a guaranteed move to Liverpool in 2016.
Fantasy view: Only an option if he can secure a regular starting spot.
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Christian Atsu (Bless you!! Here, have a tissue. Thanks. Here you go. No no, you keep it.) (Bournemouth)
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The third of our Bournemouth three, is Chelsea winger Christian Atsu, (Bless you!!! Thanks. Sorry, the hay fever is really bad this year. Yeah, it really is. Eyes itching? Yeah, a little. That’s rough. So how’ve you been? Not bad, other than the hay fever. Family keeping well? The cat died, but other than that, we’re good. Thanks for asking) signed on a season-long loan.
The 23 year old Ghana international spent last season on loan at Everton, making just 5 Premiership appearances (mainly coming on for the last 5 minutes) and only 1 start. He also didn’t feature at all for the last 2 months of last season.
He’ll be hoping for more opportunities this time out, and his competition for a starting place will be considerably less than it was at Everton. He has a decent international pedigree – an international with over 30 caps, including runner-up at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations, in which he also won Player (and goal) of the tournament.
Fantasy view – Possible 5th Mid / bench fodder if cheap. Monitor in pre-season.
Sh*t-joke-potential – Awesome. Starting XI and captain every week.
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New Fixture Tracker added!
And whilst we have you, may we just bring your attention to the new fixture tracker that has been added. Last week we launched the Home & Away rotation tracker and both beauties can be found under the ‘Tips’ tab at the top and then under, unsurprisingly, ‘Fixture Tracker’ If that all sounds like too much hard work then here’s a quick link and also a picture of the dam thing if you’re uber lazy!…
Both have proved a massive hit on twitter. We hope you like them too.
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There’s still room for anyone interested in playing in very competitive draft leagues this season. You can contact me at bobfest@yahoo.com or post here.
Thanks for the fixture tracker. Doesn’t look like anyone has the nice run that MU had at the beginning of last season.
“Manchester City are delighted to announce the signing of Raheem Sterling from Liverpool FC.”
Cheers Tekkers
Your a City fan right?
Yup. Like the transfer, but not the amount of money involved.
I love the transfer and the money involved. Haha
Do you think he’ll get playing for ye? If so I’m thinking of downgrading Silva to Sterling and using the extra mil.
I hate the transfer!
Ok it got to the stage where we had to sell him, but it’s further evidence that we can’t hold onto our best players.
Teks, your welcome to the little shit. Kop don’t worry mate, we have got rid of better than him over the years.
The part I love is that someone that didn’t want to be at the club is gone but yes I agree with you Kop again we haven’t been able to hold onto our top players.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’ll play most of the time. Should definitely be preferred over Nasri and Navas. I’ll watch City’s friendlies so I can provide further updates about how he looks further on.
Cheers Tekkers.
My team so far
I really like this team mate, the only thing missing is Ageuro but he’s a lot and to get a balanced team he can’t really be in it.
Hey Wafflez another team without Kun a patteren building up here I would take Richie out for Mah then swap Mane for Caz or Ozil I would say this is a great team
What do you lads think of this team, I think United will have a good season this year so I went with Rooney, lots of supply for him. Downing can we swapped out with any 5.5/6.0 but I fancy him to do well first few weeks esp with 2 promoted teams, differential too.
Vardy because well, Vardy.
Any changes you would make?
How are we Burnsy this is a well balanced team don’t know much about Fracis would rather have Miggs or Cook also if Downing moves to Sun or New I thk he will get less points great frt 3 even without Kun ( if only we dare) the more I look @ this team the more I like it.
Watford have signed another defender don’t know what position exactly but Hoban is looking even less likely to play, Any other 4.0 mil defenders that will start?
Alright guys, long time no see…
This is the first stepping stone towards my team, so let me know what is ok about it and what is totally gash about it. Cheers!
Mil another strong team & again without Kun strong MF not sure if Morgan will start 1st few games Eve have some hard fixtures to start so maybe change Jag but good team
Cheers Silver. Yeh, Aguero is a wait and see situation. If fit and firing then he’ll be squeezed in somehow, probably at the expense of either Cazorla or Depay. Will have a look at the defence again. Any recommendations?
Mil maybe Cedric & Lescott for Jag & Morgan