Team Talk Fantasy Football Gameweek 32

Team Talk Fantasy Football GW32

Welcome we say to 32. You can’t come quick enough. For 31 was bad for me. Frankly, I’ve had enough. “That’s not the spirit”, I hear you say. “Come on Cookie, get with the ticket”. “Bore off” my reply began. “Just bring on the T20 cricket”. Our week starts down in the Valleys. As the Toffees travel to Wales. Both clubs in decent form. But let’s not get caught up in details. Saturday 3pm sees five matches. Most of which are pretty dull. It won’t surprise you to hear. That the first one involves Hull. They visit Southampton, birthplace of Benny Hill. For a proper proper test. Hoping that N’Doye and Diame. Are the fastest milkmen in the west. Sherwood takes his Villains. To the team, he of course made. Yep it’s Spurs this week for Villa. And of course they’ll be outplayed. Lord Pardew feels all smug. After his Palace beat the City. A trip to Sunderland awaits this week. My gawd, that won’t be pretty. West Brom vs Leicester. Not even I can make this funny. You try making up a rhyme. Of an angry Fox and a Brummy. Big Sam welcomes Sparky. As the Hammers and Potters clash. A bottle of red after the game. And then off for pie and mash. “Wenger out”, the Goonies cried. “It’s time for our divorce”. But when they win at Burnley Saturday, just wait. “We’re gonna win the league”, of course! No rest on the Sabbath as it’s derby day. In Manc and London town. City and United chasing top four. And Chelsea want their crown. The Hoops this week for the Special One. Charlie Austin giving his fans a small semi. But surely Chelsea will have too much. With Hazard and Loic Remy. And then up to Old Trafford. The Theatre of Dreams they said. City think they’re the local kings. But we know Manchester is Red. Monday night fun again. As Liverpool meet the Toon. John Carver pulling his hair out. And Raheem playing the loon. And that my friends is our gameweek. Not so very profound. So let’s get on with the important stuff. And Go Around the Grounds.

Swansea vs Everton (Sat 11 April 12.45)
And so we kick off in the Valleys with both teams in decent form. Everton have won their last three, while Swansea have won their last two and a win here would give them a record Premier League points total. The Toffees will also be keen for a victory which would not only see them to the 40pt barrier but also continue to ease the pressure on Roberto Martinez – a strong finish from the boys in Blue and Martinez can just blame the poor season on the Europa League. Swansea have never beaten Everton in the Premier League, in fact they’ve never beaten them in any league and Everton have won all three PL games between the two at Swansea. That won’t deter Garry Monk, who has proved more than once this season that he has the managerial qualities to get the best out of his team, when many doubted his ability.

Everton striker Romelu Lukaku is rated at just 50/50 for the match but will be given every opportunity to make the game, while Aiden McGeady is unlikely to feature as he is suffering with a back injury. Bryan Oviedo, Tony Hibbert and Darron Gibson are all definite absentees.

Swans have been hit by the news that full back Kyle Naughton has been ruled out of the rest of the season after injuring his ankle ligaments vs Hull. Angel Rangel will deputise at right back. Winger Jefferson Montero faces a late fitness as he struggles to shrug off a hamstring injury but Leon Britton and Kyle Bartley are both fit and available.

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Southampton vs Hull (Sat 11 Apr 15.00)
The Saints get an immediate chance to recover from last week’s defeat at Everton as they host struggling Hull, who are going down quicker than Monica Lewinksy. With no wins in five, Hull are now just one place above the bottom three and with the likes of Burnley and QPR showing some fight, the Tigers are now in a proper battle. Or Rolling in the Deep as Aretha would put it. The Saints have to win this just to keep in touch with the likes of Spurs and Liverpool and the stats show that they will – Hull haven’t won on the road since they beat Sunderland on Boxing Day, the Saints have won their previous two at home without conceding a goal and Hull haven’t won at Southampton since 1951. Another loss for Steve Bruce awaits and the pressure is really heating up down the bottom.

Steven Davis and Florin Gardos have both recovered from injury and will be in the Saints squad. Midfielder Filip Djuricic has picked up an ankle injury and will miss out. Manager Ronald Koeman says he is not overly concerned about Graziano Pelle who has now not scored for fourteen matches – he rather concentrated on his view that his forwards are not given as much space as they were in the first half of the season. Righto Ronnie.

Interesting presser as Brucie refuses to confirm whether Allan McGregor will start in goal or be dropped after a couple of shaky performances – all the manager had to say was, “I haven’t decided yet, but I’ll tell the player before the media.” Read into that what you will. On the injury front both James Chester and Bry Munich’s BAE Andrew Robertson are both fit but Curtis Davies has picked up a thigh injury in training and will miss out. Gaston Ramirez is ineligible to play against his parent club, while Nikica Jelavic and Robert Snodgrass continue to miss out. Tom Huddlestone returns from suspension but David Meyler is banned after being sent off in last week’s defeat at Swansea.

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Spurs vs Aston Villa (Sat 11 Apr 15.00)
Fresh off their double gameweek that promised so much but ultimately just delivered just a solitary point, the Gilet Genius takes his Villains to Spurs knowing that scoring goals is only half the battle if they are to avoid the drop. Six goals conceded in the DGW doesn’t bode well and will have the likes of Harry Kane licking his lips after being held to a goalless draw at Burnley last week. A week’s break should of helped Mauricio Pocchetino’s men while every game seems to be a Cup Final for Villa right now. Sherwood of course was, according to himself (after all his opinion is all that matters – to him) soley responsible for Spurs not selling HurriKane two seasons ago. We have much to be thankful to you for sir, we remain forever in your debt. You numbskull. Not often I’ll say this but, “c’mon Spurs, smash the **** out of them please and shut the idiot up”.

Spurs will again be without keeper Hugo Lloris who hasn’t recovered from a knee injury, while Kyle Walker’s foot injury prevents his participation on Saturday. Fellow defender Jan Vertonghen has been suffering from illness and will need to be assessed before the game. More bad news for Spurs as Roberto Soldado has been passed fit.

Villa will again be without Ashley Westwood, Scott Sinclair and Alan Hutton for the trip to Spurs, but there is better news of Philippe Senderos and Aly Cissokho who have both trained this week and could come back into the squad. Libor Kozak is close to a return – the striker played for the U21s in the week, but won’t be hurried back this weekend.

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Sunderland vs Crystal Palace (Sat 11 Apr 15.00)
Another home game for the Black Cats and probably another dreary performance. For that is what they do. But c’mon guys, you’re in the presence of the great Lord Pardew this week and his exciting Palace side, who somehow disposed of Man City on Monday night. Call them lucky, whatever – a win is a win and they’ll travel up to the Stadium of Light full of confidence and swagger, knowing that they are probably already safe on 39pts with still seven matches to go. Hats off to the Lord – they were a point off the bottom three when he joined. Urgh – he’s going to be unbearable. Amazingly, Sunderland won 3-1 at Palace in November – what won’t surprise you is Palace’s goal was scored by…..guess….go on just guess….I’ll tell you after the team news. You won’t be surprised.

Seb Larsson misses out for the Black Cats this week after picking up his 10th yellow card in the derby win. Wes Brown, Ricky Alvarez and Emanuele Giaccherini all continue to miss out, which affects no one really. Jack Rodwell has been passed fit and could come in for Larsson.

Mile Jedinak returns from suspension for Palace but the Lord says he hasn’t yet decided whether he will start, as he is surely tempted to name an unchanged side. However Joe Ledley is a doubt with a hip strain and if he misses out that could be Jedinak’s way back in. There are no other fresh injuries, with Jordon Mutch and Fraizer Campbell both making good progress but not quite ready for this weekend. Marouane Chamakh remains a doubt, while Chung-yong Lee is a few weeks away.

So, back in November, Palace’s goal in the 1-3 defeat to Sunderland was scored by….. Wes Brown (og).

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West Brom vs Leicester (Sat 11 Apr 15.00)
The phrase “there’s always someone worse off than yourself” is oft forgotten, but trust me, you wouldn’t want to be a Baggie in training this week. I fancy Mr Pulis may have had a word or two and not very pleasant ones. You can understand QPR scoring 3 vs an awful Villa defence but going to West Brom and scoring four was a horrendous result for the Baggies. So, will this week bring a reaction, a return to a tight, uncompromising defence or will Leicester go goal crazy? Well, in fairness, they scored two vs West Ham and three at Spurs so there is clearly goals in the side. West Brom won 1-0 at Leicester in November and have won eight of the last ten meetings between the two. So the stats show West Brom, but maybe, just maybe current form amd momentum and the will to win may just favour the away side, leading to another uncomfortable week for the Baggies.

Tony Pulis reports no new injuries for the game but does welcome back defender Craig Dawson who returns from suspension – expect Dawson to walk straight back into the team after last week’s horror show. Youssouf Mulumbu misses out though after being red carded vs Rangers.

The Foxes have a fully fit squad to choose from as Matt Upson and Dean Hammond have both returned to training. Manager Nigel Pearson says the players are positive ahead of the run in and “ready to give it a go”.

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West Ham vs Stoke (Sat 11 Apr 15.00)
One of the most meangingless of meaningless games as the season draws to a close for both clubs who are separated only by goal difference. That’s not the only similarity – both teams lost 2-1 away last weekend, though Stoke win courtesy of the most outrageous goal from Charlie Adam, a strike that Arthur Scargill would of been proud of. So as the likes of Peter Crouch and Stewart Downing turns their minds to their summer tours of Dubai, Ibiza and Benidorm what can we expect from the game? Well, the Hammers have won just one of their last nine matches, while the Potters have lost their last three matches. Not exactly inspirational is it? The Potters are unbeaten in their last three vs the Hammers and won the last time the teams met at Upton Park. Surprise surprise the two drew 2-2 at Stoke in November.

Big Sam welcomes back Enner Valencia into the squad – the striker has recovered from his foot injury and gives the team some more options up front. James Tonkins and Andy Carroll remain missing.

Mark Hughes is relieved that his injury list is much reduced than a few weeks ago. Victor Moses comes back into the squad after a groin injury and then being ineligible to play last week at Chelsea. Jon Walters continues to manage his knee injury, while Marc Wilson has broken his hand, but both are expected to play. Even Peter Odemwingie may be back soon – he has started playing on the training ground and should be back with the senior squad within a fortnight. Bojan Krkic remains the odd one out by being sidelined for the season.

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Burnley vs Arsenal (Sat 11 Apr 17.30)
It’s #Wengerin week at Arsenal after their destruction of Liverpool last week. Bless them. Remember Monaco? And they call Spurs fans fickle!! They go up to Burnley this week with Sean Dyche’s men in 19th place, two points off safety but buoyed by keeping out the HurriKane last week – they just need to remember how to score. Just one goal in five is not the sort of form that will keep them up, but Dyche will know attacking Arsenal will likely mean they’ll just get picked off on the break by the pace of Alexis, the vision (hee hee) of Ozil, the finishing prowess of Welbeck (?) and the general gorgeousness of Giroud. Let’s keep those sensitive Goonies happy by looking at their impressive form of late which has seen them win their last seven and in fact they’ve won ten of their last eleven – the only blip was their loss to Tottenham Hotspur – had to mention it. You know me, I like to give you all the details. The Gunners beat Burnley 3-0 at the Emirates in November but interestingly have only won of their last five matches at Burnley.

Burnley hope to welcome back Steven Reid, Matty Taylor and Ross Wallace into the squad – Taylor has been out for most of the season with an achilles injury but has trained with the first team this week. Dyche reports no new injuries

I hope you’re sitting down for this. Abou Diaby is fit and available. This is not a drill. Abou Diaby is fit and available. Not sure how he gets in the side, but that’s not my issue, or likely yours. A truly staggering presser as Monsieur Wenger drops the bombshell that Jack Wilshire is also available. And Mikel Arteta (bad news for those Cazorla penalties). And Mathieu Debuchy, although the French defender hasn’t had the same game time for the U21s so is probably not quite ready for a start. Even Aaron Ramsey has been passed fit after he was forced off with an ankle injury after an hour in the win over Liverpool. Laurent Koscielny faces a late fitness test as he is struggling with a hip injury, while the Ox is still a few weeks away.

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QPR vs Chelsea (Sun 11 Apr 13.30)
Judging on how easily Benteke waltzed through the Rangers defence on Tuesday, Eden Hazard could have a field day here. Or maybe even ex-Ranger Loic Remy, assuming he plays. Rangers best hope will surely be to go for it and attack a somewhat leaky Chelsea defence, just like Hull did a couple of weeks ago. We know for sure that there are goals in the side with Charlie Austin and Matty Phillips impressing in the DGW just gone. With any luck Chris Ramsey will play Rio Ferdinand so we can see him and John Terry going at each other again, that will certainly make it worth watching. In reality of course, the signs all point to an away win, especially with the extra rest Jose’s men have had while Rangers were battling Villa. Matches between the two are traditionally low scoring, apart from a 6-1 Chelsea victory three years ago – strip that game out and the last eight meetings have produced just ten goals. But surely, with that Rangers defence……?

I’m gutted, Rio is injured and won’t play. Damnit. The good news, I think, for Rangers is that Richard Dunne played a comeback match for the U21s in the week, came through unscathed and hopes to be available for Sunday, as does Darnell Furlong. Michael Doughty is also out, though we don’t know who he is. Or care, frankly. Eduardo Vargas is out for the season and Leroy Fer and Alejandro Faurlin and Adel Taarabt remain sidelined.

Jose on Costa – “I expect him to play four matches at the end of the season. That’s normal with his injury. If he plays three then he’s slightly behind. If he plays Five then he is slightly ahead”. Basic translation from Jose-speak – Costa likely to miss DGW34 but return for the final 3/4 games. The striker is Chelsea’s only injury – Cesc Fabregas will play in a mask, while Jon-Obi Mikel is fit and ready. Mourinho says he has no issue with playing both Fabrgeas and Nemanja Matic on Sunday, with the two midfielders sitting on 9 yellows and facing a two match ban if they get booked VS qpr.

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Man Utd vs Man City (Sun 11 Apr 16.00)
And so for the big one – the Manc derby at Old Trafford. The sides come into the game poles apart in terms of form and confidence but separated by just a point in the league. City of course lost at Palace on Monday and are currently on a run of: W, L, W, L, W, L. Shite, they’re due a win this week now. Hmmmmm. Me not likely this, I’ll have to change the tone. United have had a superb run which has seen them climb above their neighbours into 3rd place and having seen off Spurs, Liverpool and Villa with ease in their last three they’ll believe they can increase the gap and further secure a Champions League spot. Defeat for City would be a shocker and raise further questions on Manuel Pellegrini – with Liverpool, Spurs and Southampton having seemingly straightforward home matches this week, the Champions will start to look over their shoulder. The Blues have had the local bragging rights of late as they have won the last four derbies, including the last three at Old Trafford. This could go either way and should be well worth a watch.

LVG says RVP is AOK BTW, FYI. We can do all this in acronyms if you want? OK, sorry. Van Persie has returned to training and made excellent progress (yawn) but won’t be ready for the derby. Chris Smalling and Luke Shaw are closer to a return but will need a late check, while Jonny Evans remains suspended. LVG hints that he may make a change to the winning line-up. ADM back in maybe?

City have a doubt over captain Vincent Kompany. An injury doubt I mean, not an ability doubt – though both are relevant right now. Kompany will need to be assessed just before the game. Wilfried Bony definitely misses out – the striker twisted his ankle and knee before the Palace game. Great transfer that’s turned out to be – the only people it’s benefited are his agent and Bafetimbi Gomis. Steven Jovetic is also doubtful, but like Kompany he will be assessed further before the game – and like Kompany, he probably wouldn’t be much of a miss for the Champions either.

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Liverpool vs Newcastle (Mon 12 Apr 20.00)
We finish the gameweek with another Monday night special as the struggling Toon travel to the depressed Scousers. John Carver, the son of a preacher man, will be looking for his team to arrest a run of four successive defeats and regain some respect before the end of the season. And before he’s carted off to the local job centre. All is not well at Juanfield either with speculation on the futures of Raheem Sterling and Jordan Henderson not going away. Oh happy day. Brendan Rodgers will be saying a little prayer that his team can get back to winning ways in the league after successive defeats to United and Arsenal and a home fixture vs the Geordies is a perfect opportunity to start another run of victories. Liverpool certainly have a deeper love for this fixture, they haven’t been beaten in the league at home by Newcastle since 1994. Wednesday night’s replay win over Blackburn may instill some confidence into the side, while the Toon just cannot wait for the season to end.

I’m not sure if it’s S&S time or SOS time for Liverpool. But I mustn’t be too mean as I promised Kop I’d be nicer this week. Me and my big mouth. Well, where shall we start? S&S – Slippy (Steven Gerrard) and Stampy (Martin Skrtel) are both still suspended. Now for the SOS as Mamadou Sakho misses the game after suffering a hamstring injury at Blackburn, which leaves the world’s greatest defensive partnership, ie Dejan Lovren and Kolo “there is no need to be afraid” Toure to try and keep out the dynamic and prolific Toon attack. Surely even those two can manage that? As for Mad Mario – well, we’ll just have to see how the poor love is feeling on Monday – he’s been suffering with a high temperature, but the hope is (for Newcastle), that he’ll be ok for the game. Adam Lallana faces a late fitness test.

Carver describes last weekend’s defeat at Sunderland as one of the darkest days of his career – probably alongside the day he was appointed Leeds manager. Anyway, I digress. The injuries and availabalities for the Toon this week haven’t eased up, although there are some positives. Daryl Janmaat has recovered from a calf injury he picked in the defeat at the Stadium of Light and Siem de Jong and Rolando Aarons have both returned to training but will not be considered for Monday. Massadio Haidara, Paul Dummett, Steven Taylor, Chieck Tiote all remain out as do the suspended Papiss Cisse and Fabricio Coloccini. It could get ugly again for the Magpies.

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Suspension Report

Players suspended for GW32

David Meyler (Hull)
Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)
Martin Skrtel (Liverpool)
Jonny Evans (Man Utd)
Papiss Cisse (Newcastle)
Fabricio Coloccini (Newcastle)
Seb Larsson (Sunderland)
Youssouf Mulumbu (West Brom)

Players who receive ten cautions by the second Sunday in April will receive a 2-match ban. Therefore this Sunday is the cut off for suspensions for 10 yellows. If players escape this, their next target increases to 15 yellows by the end of the season.

Players currently on 9 cautions are:

Ciaran Clark (Aston Villa)
Cesc Fabregas (Chelsea)
Nemanja Matic (Chelsea)
Joey Barton (QPR)
Victor Wanyama (Southampton)
Phil Bardsley (Stoke)
Neil Taylor (Swansea)
Winston Reid (West Ham)

Thanks for reading Team Talk Fantasy Football GW32. This article was written by Cookie

Follow @SteveCook9

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Don’t forget to vote in this week’s Captain poll

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