Team Talk Fantasy Football Gameweek 33

Team Talk Fantasy Football Gameweek 33

Just seven matches this week.
It could be quite a bore.
Fear not, we’ll have our pleasure.
In Gameweek 34.

No Sunderland or Gooners.
And the Scousers too we’ll miss.
I’ll need to find new victims.
Of which to take the piss.

Pulis returns to Palace.
After another embarrassing loss.
While Palace now are Lording it.
With Pardew as the boss.

And then we’re off to Goodison.
As Burnley are in town.
A failure to win or even score.
Will mean they’re closer to going down.

The Foxes are firing it up.
And this week the Swans arrive.
With Vardy and Cambiasso flying.
My cash is on them to survive.

Stoke vs the Saints will likely be tight.
A polite way of saying it’s a bore.
With Stoke firing blanks.
And Saints struggling to score.

And then the big one.
As Jose reunites with LVG.
The Special One and Eden.
Versus Mata and the Philosophy.

Sunday at the Etihad.
Where things are not good.
Yaya not bothered, Vince the kamikaze.
But relax, it’s the Hammers in the hood.

And then then the grand finale.
Takes us to the north west.
Yep, it’s the struggling Toon again.
This week for Kane a lesser test.

So a much reduced gameweek beckons, so therefore the team news all important with many likely to be happy to just field eleven and not worry about their bench. Hopefully no training ground issues on Saturday this week eh? Yep, we’re looking at you Loic. Let’s go Around the Grounds and see what the managers have had to say.

Crystal Palace vs West Brom (Sat 18 Apr 15.00)
“It’s ok Tony Pulis will sort them out”, they said. “Look at what he did at Palace”, they said. “Double up in defence”, they said. The “they saids” seem to have disappeared under the same rock as those Baggie clean sheets. After two horror shows on their own turf, they’ll probably be glad to escape the Hawthorns – although their afternoon at Palace could be just as uncomfortable with the Eagles in fine form under the direction of the Lord. Good old Pardew, like him or hate him – ok, hate him, he’s getting his players firing on all cylinders – if it’s not Jason Puncheon doing it, then it’s Glenn Murray, and then Yannick Bolasie. Best get Chamakh fit asap – now if the Lord gets him scoring they’ll be forming a new religion down in South London. We’ll call that religion “Theology of Selhurst’s Soccer Eagles Religion”. Work it out. That’s four wins in a row for Palace – another season of Premier League football has been secured, not bad considering they were a point from the drop zone when the Lord was annointed. Appointed, sorry. The Baggies are not yet safe and their third loss in a row leaves them on 33pts and in desperate need of a change of luck, or form, or anything that can arrest that decline. The signs are not good – they have beaten Palace in just one of their last nine meetings and have lost both of their Premier League matches at Selhurst Park.

Palace will have a similar squad to last week – Jordon Mutch and Fraizer Campbell are closing in on a return, while Joe Ledley should be ok after he picked up a hip injury. James McArthur is hopeful of recovering from illness while defender Pape Souare will face a late fitness test after he suffered a dead leg at Sunderland. Marouane Chamakh and Chung-yong Lee remain unavailable.

The Baggies will give a late fitness test to striker Brown Ideye, who has been struggling with a knee injury, while midfielder Callum McManaman played for the U21s in the week and is available. Boaz Myhill will again deputise for the injured Ben Foster, while Youssuf Mulumbu continues his suspension.

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Everton vs Burnley (Sat 18 Apr 15.00)
It’s time for Burnley to pull out one of their crazy results – since their win over City (well, everyone beats City don’t they?), Burnley have lost two and drawn one and not scored a goal. Not ideal when you need a win or two. I fancy life won’t be much easier for them this week as they travel to an inform(ish) Everton – well, in form is relative. The Toffees were, there is no other way of putting this, sorry – utter shite when they were also in the Europa League. They got knocked out and boooom, three wins and a draw follow. Say what you like about Moyesy, but at least he kept United out of those Thursday night horror journeys to places you don’t want to go to. Back to Burnley and their remaining fixtures all look winnable – if of course they can find the path to the back of the net – no goals = no wins, so step up Danny Ings – time for you to shine and prove to Liverpool that you’re worth £20mln. I’ll miss Sean Dyche if Burnley go down, that husky, sand paper voice and ginger goatee. Yeah it’ll be a shame.

Romelu Lukaku has trained well this week and if that continues he should be available for Saturday. Midfielder Leon Osman may also be available after making good progress from injury while Aiden McGeady and Bryan Oviedo have both returned to training this week.

Burnley’s injury problems are easing as they attempt a last ditch battle to stay up. Ross Wallace and Steven Reid are back in contention after both played in a Development Squad match in midweek. Matty Taylor also appeared in that match as he builds up his fitness. Only Dean Marney and Kevin Long remain unavailable.

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Leicester vs Swansea (Sat 18 Apr 15.00)
It was like Boxing Day in the Cotswolds as the Foxes were being hunted down and left for dead by everyone. But then good old Spurs came to the rescue and allowed them to score three goals in a 4-3 defeat – despite the loss that game seemed to trigger some belief and hope in Leicester who followed that defeat by beating West Ham and West Brom leaving them just three points from fourth from bottom Hull – and with a game in hand. This would really be a great escape of Steve McQueen proportions if they can pull it off – and the nice thing is they’re attacking like crazy in a way that Kevin Keegan would be proud of. Swansea plod on and last week’s draw with Everton sees them equal their best ever points tally in the Premier League – they would dearly love to reach the 50pt mark this weekend but will come across the attacking tidal wave that is David Nugent, Esteban Cambiasso and Jamie Vardy. The good news for Leicester is that Swansea haven’t won there since 1950 – I don’t remember it myself, but my ol’ mate Elle tells me it was a 5-goal thriller.

Leicester have a fully fit squad as they attempt to continue their recent form and make further strides in trying to escape the drop. Both Liam Moore and Anthony Knockaert featured for the U21s in the week and come into consideration for Saturday.

Swans striker Bafetimbi Gomis has been ruled out for 3-4 four weeks with a hamstring injury, meaning Nelson Oliveira will compete with Marvin Emnes as Gomis’ replacement. The only other injury is Kyle Naughton who is sidelined with an ankle injury. Winger Jefferson Montero has returned to training and been passed fit for the weekend, but full back Neil Taylor is suspended after receiving his 10th yellow card last week.

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Stoke vs Southampton (Sat 18 Apr 15.00)
Ronald Koeman takes his Saints up to Stoke ever hopeful of a Champions League spot and encouraged by the recent collapse of City in fourth place. The Potters are looking increasingly like a side that has one eye on the summer escape to warmer shores as they have lost three and drawn one of their last four matches. Southampton though haven’t won any of their last four on the road, though were amazed and cheered last week when Graziano Pelle scored his first goal in fourteen matches as they strolled past a hapless Hull. Aside from your single/double or treble Saints defence there’s really not much to get excited about here, though you may not be happy to learn that Stoke have scored in eight of their last nine matches vs the Saints.

Stoke will be without defender Marc Muniesa, who tweaked his hamstring in training on Friday. Fellow defenders Marc Wilson and Erik Pieters have also been in the wars – Wilson has a wrist injury, while Pieters has a minor injury, though Mark Hughes is hopeful both will be ok. Peter Odemwingie has returned to training this week and though he won’t be rushed back, Hughes is optimistic the striker may play before the end of the season. Victor Moses and Bojan Krkic are sidelined.

The main news is that Koeman says Nathaniel Clyne will return this weekend and that it was not contract talks that forced his omission last week. Yeah righto Ronnie. Defender Florin Gardos returns to the squad but midfielder Filip Duricic is sidelined with an ankle injury. Victor Wanyama also misses out after picking up his 10th yellow card last weekend. Kelvin Davis continues to deputise for the injured Fraser Forster, while Koeman is hopeful that Jay Rodriguez will join in training next week may even make the squad before the end of the season.

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Chelsea vs Man Utd (Sat 18 Apr 17.30)
A few weeks ago we’d have chalked this down as a home win but things maybe a-changing as United have appeared to suddenly understand what LVG is all about, while Chelsea are creating less chances by the game. Last week’s win at QPR was hard fought, arguably undeserved and their goal came from their only shot on target. An hour later, United were smashing City and looking more like potential Champions than Chelsea. But as we all know, Jose knows how to win these games, he is the current past-master at it and if it takes an ugly battle then rest assured he’ll be preparing his troops for it as we speak. Chelsea are unbeaten in their last seven vs United, winning four of those and it’ll take an even more special performance from United, even better than the ones that accounted for Liverpool and City, if they are to secure their seventh league win in a row. A win for Chelsea would take them 10pts clear of second placed Arsenal with just six games remaining.

Mourinho says Loic Remy has “a chance” of recovering for the visit of United, but a late assessment will have to be made. Last time he used that phrase was concerning Diego Costa and he didn’t play that weekend. Of course, the time before that Costa rose from his death bed to score twice at Everton. Expect Didier Drogba to start vs United. Talking of Costa, he will return to training next week, presumably with Chelsea trying to get him fit for the Arsenal game in DGW34. The Blues have no other injuries.

Bad news coming out of the United camp as LVG reveals that Daley Blind, Marcos Rojo, Phil Jones and Michael Carrick will all miss the match. Ouch. Great news for Chelsea. Jonny Evans is still banned, bad news for Chelsea. Luke Shaw is fit and will play left back with Paddy McNair likely to partner Chris Smalling in the middle. More good news for Chelsea. LVG concedes that Wayne Rooney may need to be deployed as a holding midfielder with Falcao or RvP starting upfront.

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Man City vs West Ham (Sun 19 Apr 13.30)
Turbulent times at the Etihad – rumours that Manuel Pellegrini is living on borrowed time with Patrick Vieira waiting in the wings, global condemnation of Yaya Toure and his performances, four losses in six in the league, their captain Vincent Kompany being permamently taken off before he’s sent off and the Champions are now struggling for a Champions League spot. Oh and they got crushed in the derby. Fortunately for them, the Hammers are in town and they have only won one in ten matches – and that was against Sunderland. Default three points. West Ham actually beat City in the league in October at Upton Park, but have not won at City in the league since 2003 when City were poor. So this really should be a home banker, that’s not cockney rhyming slang for a City fan, I genuinely mean City should win this and get their Champions League challenge back on track. The one positive in the derby was City getting to play in a full stadium – and also Sergio Aguero’s return to goalscoring form – his brace took him to 19 goals for the season and more joy can be expected on Sunday.

Not sure what’s been going on in Manchester this week, but City, like United are beset by injuries. Manuel Pellegrini has revealed that Vincent Kompany, Wilfried Bony, Gael Clichy, Stevan Jovetic and James Milner will all miss Sunday’s game. The manager is not sure if Kompany will play again this season. That’s probably a result the way he’s been playing. On the plus side, defender Dedryck Boyata is fit. Magic. Pellegrini laughed off criticism of Yaya Toure by saying, “Yaya is a very important player for our team. You are all waiting for me to criticise him, but he will continue.” Continue what?!!! Sulking? Crying? Looking for his cake?

The good news for the Hammers is that Enner Valencia has recovered from injury and is available for the trip to the Etihad. The bad news is that he may be partnering Carlton Cole as Diafra Sakho and Andy Carroll are both injured. James Tomkins is also out in what could be a long afternoon for Big Sam and his men.

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Newcastle vs Spurs (Sun 19 Apr 16.00)
Another week, another defeat for the Toon – not many of us are either bothered or upset by this, but the one disadvantage is it makes Lord Pardew’s head grow the size of some sort of King Kong figure. Monday’s loss at Liverpool was as inevitable as Rickie Lambert starting the game on the bench. Great move that Rick. Still at least he’s blending into the local environment well – i.e. trying to get paid while doing as little as possible. Shite, Liverpool aren’t even playing this week – this is becoming a disease. Right, Spurs. Hahaha – beaten at home by Sherwood’s lot – oh dear, same old, same old – promised a little, delivered f-all. But surely this week they’ll win. They must score ‘cos even Sunderland score vs Newcastle. The Toon actually beat Spurs at the Lane earlier in the season, but of course the Lord was in charge then and he can do anything. Sunday probably won’t be pretty, but it should be entertaining – last season Spurs won 4-0 at Newcastle and you wouldn’t bet against that again this week.

Toon skipper Fabricio Coloccini returns to the side after serving his suspension, but stand-in captain Moussa Sissoko misses out following his red card at Anfield. What’s wrong with these muppets? Oh – don’t forget Papiss Cisse, he’s still banned also. Midfielder Siem de Jong played 45mins for the U21s on Wednesday evening and could come into contention for Sunday. Aside from de Jong there is no one due back – Massadio Haidara, Steven Taylor, Paul Dummett, Chieck Tiote and Rolando Aarons remain out.

Spurs continue to have doubts over keeper Hugo Lloris and defenders Jan Vertonghen and Kyle Walker – all three will be assessed tomorrow. Mauricio Pochettino reports no other injuries.

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Suspension Report

Players suspended for GW33

Carlos Sanchez (Aston Villa)
David Meyler (Hull)
Jonny Evans (Man Utd)
Papiss Cisse (Newcastle)
Moussa Sissoko (Newcastle)
Victor Wanyama (Southampton)
Seb Larsson (Sunderland)
Neil Taylor (Swaansea)
Youssouf Mulumbu (West Brom)

Please note the 10 yellow card rule expired last Sunday, so the next automatic suspension cut off is 15 yellow cards until the end of the season. The only players who received their 10th yellow in GW32 and therefore start a 2 match suspension this week are Neil Taylor and Victor Wanyama.

Thanks for reading Team Talk Fantasy Football Gameweek 33. This article was written by Cookie

Follow @SteveCook9

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