Team Talk Game-week 33 – FPL Fantasy Football Premier League

Well, as expected GW32 wasn’t up to much – well for many of us anyway. It was a course a game-week not without incident – from the plane protest at Old Trafford, to Palace shocking Chelsea, the Cardiff comeback at West Brom, Arsenal not conceding ten to a team above them and Liverpool’s title charge gathering momentum. So let’s see if we can make a better fist of GW33 – it of course the game-week before DGW34 so many of your transfers will be in readiness for that.
Our game-week starts Saturday lunchtime as City welcome Southampton to the Etihad. We then have five 3pm kick offs as Aston Villa can take a huge step to survival by beating bottom club Fulham, Cardiff will need to defeat Palace if they are to make ground on their rivals, the winner of Hull and Swansea will be within touching distance of safety, Newcastle host Man Utd and there’s another massive game at the bottom as West Brom travel to Norwich. Saturday evening sees Chelsea looking to reignite their title challenge as they play host to Stoke. Sunday sees a huge game in the battle for fourth and Everton could put more pressure on Arsene Wenger at Goodison and then the Happy Hammers entertain the Scousers. Our game-week again ends on Monday as Tottenham host Sunderland at the Lane.
So, let’s get around the grounds and catch up on the latest news.

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Man City vs Southampton (Sat 5 April 12.45)
City have a chance to put some early pressure on their rivals at the top as they take on the Saints at the Etihad and they’ll go into the game full of confidence, despite last week’s disappointing draw at Arsenal. With Chelsea losing at Palace, City know the title destiny is in their own hands and one defeat in nineteen league matches shows you they will fight all the way. The Saints of course, will also be bullish having easily disposed of Newcastle last week in clinical fashion and are unbeaten in their last two against City, although both those games were at St Marys. City have won the last three between the two at the Etihad and on closer inspection, Southampton’s record against teams above them isn’t good – they are winless in nine matches vs teams above them in the league, with seven of those matches ending in defeat. Much will depend on Mauricio Pochettino’s three musketeers – Rickie Lambert, J-Rod & Adam Lallana – if they can fire they are a match for anyone, but they’ll have their work cut out battling the likes of Yaya Toure & Fernandinho etc. This fixture has never ended goalless in the Premier League and that is unlikely to change this weekend.

The big news here centered around Sergio Aguero as Pelligrini revealed that while the Argentine would still be absent for this one he expects him to return for the big showdown with Liverpool next weekend. “For this week, it is too soon for Sergio to start playing because he just worked two days, but next week against Liverpool he will not have any problems,” said the City manager unwittingly sending fantasy mangers into a tizzy amid many teams being restructured accordingly, just in case. The news is a double edged sword really. If he is back how does this impact on Dzeko game-time and even if he is would you trust such a big chunk of your budget on such a seemingly fragile asset? In less startling news Micah Richards has finally returned to the squad but Matija Nastasic  remains sidelined.

Mauricio Pochettino confirmed that Nathaniel Clyne remains out with a groin problem, so Calum Chambers should continue at right-back. Other than that Morgan Schneiderlin returned as a substitute last week and may feature from the start here in what is likely to be the only change to the Saints line-up with James Ward-Prowse making way, possibly. Kelvin Davis remains sidelined while Maya Yoshida is out for the season with a knee problem.

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Aston Villa vs Fulham (Sat 5 April 15.00)
Ulrika Jonsson is more commonly known as 4-by-4, but if Villa don’t stop conceding four goals every game, they may take on her mantle soon. Two consecutive 4-1 defeats has seen Paul Lambert’s men go from the brink of survival to the point of “must try harder” if they are to guarantee PL footy next season. So just when things look grim and you think your defending can’t get any worse, who would you most like to come to town? Yep, you’ve got it – Fulham. The Cottagers are five points away from safety with only six games left, have won once in twelve matches and taken just five points out of a possible 36 in their last twelve outings.  That not enough for you? Ok, I’ll give you more – they have never won at Villa Park in the PL, in fact their last league win at Villa was in 1973. Despite all this, bizarrely, Villa have won just one of the last seven meetings between the two (there’s a few draws in there!) and were defeated 2-0 at Craven Cottage in December, with our old mate Berbatov grabbing a goal. Irrelevant. Villa to win this, comfortably, in my opinion.

Villa were dealt a bitter blow yesterday with the news that star striker Christian Benteke has been ruled out for six months with a torn achilles tendon sustained in training and the poor lad will now also miss the World Cup. Having struggled early on in the season Benteke was just finally starting to show flashes of last seasons version again recently having scored three goals in the last four games. More worryingly for Villa Benteke had either scored or assisted in 35% of their goals this season. To add to their sriking woes Gabriel Agbonlahor is a slight doubt due to illness so it may be left to  Andreas Weimann to lead the line in this one. On the positive front their midfielder Karim El Ahmadi should be fit to return. Having lost Benteke, and just to reinforce his dislike of Darren Bent, Lambert went on to say there was no chance of him recalling the striker from his loan spell. Yes I think he gets the message loud and clear Paul!

Comedy villain Felix Magath has confirmed that Scott Parker and Fernando Amorebieta are both back in contention this week, “So we could play the same team as last week and maybe Scott Parker will go with us”. Sounds like he’s planning on fielding 12 players. It won’t help. Darren Bent is not eligible to face his parent club Aston Villa which is a little odd, you’d have thought they would have welcomed it given the lengths Lambert went to in order to ostracise Bent when he was at the club. Confusion continues over £12m club record signing Kostas Mitroglu as some reports suggest he could be out for the season while Magath disputes this and even what the exact nature of the injury is, saying he could be back in a couple of weeks. They’ll probably be relegated by then either way and will have one of the more costly Championship strikers on their books next season.

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Cardiff City vs Crystal Palace (Sat 5 April 15.00)
Tony Pulis takes his Chelsea conquering troops along the M4 and over the border into the land of the flock. Assuming they travel by coach and not in their Porsche’s, it’s going to cost that bus £19.20 just to cross the bridge and enter Wales. But it’s free to get out. That’s about as wrong as you can get….well, it’s up there with Moyesie buying Fellaini of course, but you get my point. Anyway, sorry, needed to get that off my chest – always winds me up. Why can’t they want independence instead of the Scots? At least with the Jock’s they give us whisky, golf, oil and Bond. Not one thing the Welsh give us is worthwhile – we can get our lamb anywhere ta. Back to the game and a home win would really set the cat among the pigeons at the bottom of the league and fair play to Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, he’s giving it a go with some decent football going forward, coupled with some horrendous defending at the back. Palace, as we know, are pretty much the opposite, pretty decent at the back, but offering next to nothing in attack – they have only scored one goal in their last six games on the road – and if they can’t score vs Cardiff, things could get pretty nervy for them in the run in. Cardiff have scored three goals in three of their last four games, but have only picked up four points in that time – you see the problem here. But if they can nick a couple of goals in this one, you’d have to fancy their chances of a rare victory. I think.

Cardiff boss Ole Gunnar Solksjaer had very little to report by way of injury news other than to confirm that right-back Fabio is a doubt having been withdrawn with a knock in the West Brom game and that Craig Noone was back in contention having missed the same game. He instead took the opportunity to squash rumours linking Palace with a move for Wilfried Zaha as ‘manufactured’ and also confirmed that he would be very interested in re-signing the Man Utd winger next season, given the chance. He did manage to sneak in a friendly swipe at Tony Pulis though by suggesting that Zaha probably wasn’t Tony’s type of player. Careful what you say Ole as your boys may just find out exactly what Tony’s type of player is tomorrow and we don’t think you’ll like it very much.

Pulis confirmed as much at his press conference by insisting his side ‘won’t go easy on Cardiff’  despite him being a fan as a youngster. That could be the understatement of the week right there. In team news Palace ‘welcome’ back striker Marouane Chamakh after he returned from injury to train all week but Pulis did say he would make a late call on his possible inclusion in the team. Fellow striker Dwight Gayle is definitely out with an ankle problem.

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Hull City vs Swansea (Sat 5 April 15.00)
With both teams sat on 33pts, managers Steve Bruce and Gary Monk will be impressing on their players the importance of a win this weekend. Swansea come off a moral bosting win over fellow relegation candidates Norwich, which was their first win in seven matches – it’s not goals that is the problem with the Swans, it’s the lack of clean sheets. They haven’t kept a clean sheet on the road since visiting Palace in September – and let’s be honest keeping Marouane Chamakh from scoring is easier than winning at Old Trafford these days. Hull are a funny side – they looked world beaters by smashing six past Fulham in December, then it takes them three months to record their next win at home. Two defeats in a row has made this a massive game for them, especially with Norwich playing West Brom at the same time. Recent history tells us little in the fixture – the only time Hull have played Swansea in the top flight was in December and it ended 1-1. So predict what you like here, I can’t call it.

Former Sunderland manager Steve Bruce had his say on the Ji Dong-Won situation which has seen his former club fined for fielding the Korean while he was technically still ineligible. Bruce suggested that Sunderland should be deducted points as a punishment. The irony of course being that it was Bruce himself who signed the player back in 2011. A well hidden trojan horse that one then Steve, talk about removing the pin from the hand grenade and walking away into the night sky whistling. As for his own, presumably eligible, players this week George Boyd returns from his non-spitting ban, Maynor Figueroa returns having missed out last week at Stoke and Bruce confirmed that keeper Allan McGregor will be out for six weeks due to kidney damage so Steve Harper will likely see the season out in goal. The make up of the defence will depend largely on whether they stick with five at the back or return to four which will likely affect Alex Bruce more than anyone else.

Swansea boss Garry Monk was delighted to have very little to report by way of injury news and quite simply could and probably will field an unchanged team having been so impressive last time out against Norwich. This will mean Michu attempting to play his way back into our fantasy plans having being AWOL for the best part of a year in that respect and the likes of Pablo Hernandez, Nathan Dyer and Neil Taylor having to make do with bench duties.

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Newcastle vs Man Utd (Sat 5 April 15.00)
Now, call me fickle, call me fair – I don’t mind which – but I have taken a long hard look at myself and I have come to the conclusion that Moyesie, though being fairly useless thus far, shouldn’t shoulder all of the blame for United’s season. Its Fellaini’s fault – I can’t even bring myself to type his Christian name, I hate him so much. Whereas we all look at the players and think, “c’mon lad’s, why have you been so crap this season – you won the league by eleven points last year?”, they must look around the dressing room and see this mop-headed jester sitting amongst them and ask themselves why the overgrown mascot is changing with them – and then walks out on the pitch with them. The geezer’s a joke. No wonder United have been so rubbish – poor old Wazza and Young Tom are still in shock at the arrival of the lumbering idiot from Everton. Meanwhile, up at Newcastle its business as usual – nothing to play for so they don’t care, unrest amongst the fans, hating the owner, toothless in attack and Mr Angry is well, just angry. And arrogant. And annoying. Now, if Fellaini wants a fight that much (and clearly he does), then he could endear himself to footy fans across the country by taking out Pardew. Don’t worry about the ban mate – in fact…”EUREKA” – that’s it! Everyone’s happy. No more Pardew and no more Fellaini. Two clubs United in happiness, relief and joy.
Newcastle did, of course, win at Old Trafford in December – but much has changed since then – Cabaye played and scored, Anderson played and errrr wobbled around the pitch, Zaha and Nani featured for the Reds and Mr Angry wasn’t quite as angry. Just arrogant. And annoying. Moyesie’s men are much better on the road than they are at home and have won three of their last four away games and have an even better record against Newcastle, losing just two of the last 24 games between the two and will be buoyed by their midweek draw with Bayern, while Newcastle have lost three of their last four matches and look like a team who have had enough for this season.

We must admit that if there are two press conferences we look forward to every week it’s Moyes and Pardew so this was always going to be fun. Whereas Moyes usually goes to great lengths to tell us nothing, this week Pardew has taken his ‘Joe Kinnear appreciation society’ to the next level by telling us things that didn’t actually happen. In a presser aired on the clubs own TV channel Pardew was cornered about last weeks disastrous showing against Southampton so went on the offensive by taking full credit for beating them 1-0 earlier in the season. Fair enough. Except that they didn’t. It was 1-1. Astonishingly the gathered press were that bored by that point in proceedings that none of them picked up on it. We did. You buffoon. Next week we expect he will be going full on Joe and claiming credit for their last major trophy (it was 1955). On the team news front, if you are planning a trip to Malaga any time soon you’d best hurry up and get your towel down as more and more Newcastle players are sneaking out the back door and straight onto the next Ryanair flight under the dubious auspices of being ‘injured’.  The latest to join the exodus is Moussa Sissoko (‘hamstring’) and he can relax in the sun now along with Mathieu Debuchy, Tim Krul and Loic Remy. Remy has an outside chance of returning next week if Pardew can locate him and he expects Davide Santon will return for this one but admits he doesn’t know whether to play him at right-back, left-back or in midfield. Wonderful. Oh and there are even rumours that serial gambler Dan Gosling could earn a recall. Stop laughing, this is serious.

As the second part of this ‘entertaining’ duo Moyes did his usual stuff with a few throw away comments about injury updates without actually offering much indication as to how that might actually affect his team’s line-up come Saturday afternoon. What we learnt was that Jonny Evans and Chris Smalling were back in training and “that help’s us” (ok… thanks), Ryan Giggs picked up a ‘wee’ injury (that’s Scottish for small, not the other type) and that Alex Buttner “is not as bad as when he first came off” (we beg to differ). As usual he failed to mention the line-up at all and would neither confirm nor deny rumours that some key players would be rested ahead of the midweek Bayern game. Sorry but that’s as helpful as he’s ever been in truth and even then it wasn’t. Patrice Evra is likely to earn a recall ahead of that one.

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Norwich vs West Brom (Sat 5 April 15.00)
Another mahoosive game at the bottom of the table and its desperation time for the Baggies. Having won just the once in eleven games, they are very firmly entrenched in the relegation dogfight and it’s all going pear shaped for the club. They threw away last week’s encounter with Cardiff – what a three points that would have been, sold their best striker in the January transfer window, lost Anelka due to his racism storm and there was an altercation in the dressing room after last week’s game between James Morrison and Saido Berahino that has left huge tensions around the team. That all bodes well then for a visit to a fellow relegation rival who are unbeaten in six games at Carrow Road and have won four out of their last five matches with the Baggies. Not much more to say about this – Norwich good at home, shocking away from home, West Brom just shocking generally. And a bit fighty.

Chris Hughton has revealed that youngster Joseph Yobo will be assessed ahead of the game and has a chance along with fellow centre-half Michael Turner who hasn’t featured since New Years Day because of a hamstring injury. Powerhouse midfielder Leroy Fer remains out for a short while longer while winger Elliott Bennett took a step closer to a return to action this week with an outing  for the U21’s. What all of this translates to is that Yobo may replace Ryan Bennett to partner Seb Bassong with little change elsewhere. Canaries fans will be licking their lips in anticipation of seeing the flourishing partnership between the lethal duo of Johan Elmander (1 goal) and Ricky van Wolfswinkel (1 goal).

In the other corner, last weeks ‘victim’ Saido Berahino is amazingly being tipped to lead the line for the Baggies but presumably Mel will give him the hook quicker than you can say ‘take it into the corner’, should they take the lead in this one. Victor Anichebe returns from his hamstring troubles to provide an alternative option should Mel decide to replace one brainless oaf with another. In defence Claudio Yacob and Billy Jones have both returned to training and are in contention which leaves captain Chris Brunt as their only major absentee but even he could be back next week.

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Chelsea vs Stoke City (Sat 5 April 17.30)
Oh Jose, where did it all go wrong? You were sailing towards the title, grounding out the wins against all apart from Arsenal and Tottenham, who you annihilated. And then BOOM – defeats at Villa and Palace has proved you right all along about not winning the league. Despite many of us having at least one Chelsea defender, how many of us laughed when that horrible pikey John Terry headed into his own net at Palace last week? – couldn’t happen to a nicer scumbag. Then poor old Jose threatened to unleash Eden Hazard on a ballboy. Back to the good old days! Well, their opponents are Stoke this weekend and they’ve done ok recently, they even won away from home last weekend – Mark Hughes is not surprised, he says they’ve been playing well and will take his team to one of his old haunts, believing they can achieve another positive result. Chelsea’s form around Champions League matches makes for interesting reading – they have won just three times and lost five before nine CL matches this season, but after the ties their form is impressive, winning seven and drawing once out of eight. There you go, that’s all you need to know – back Chelsea this weekend and after a European tie, but not before. Also Stoke have beaten the Blues just once in fourteen meetings. Much will depend on how Chelsea react to Wednesday’s defeat in Paris – with the Special One clearly not willing to play Fernando Torres and openly criticising his defence, this match will tell much about the character within the team.

Jose spent most of his press conference trying to build bridges and repair the confidence of Fernando Torres having basically destroyed the striker in midweek, saying that he still had a future at Stamford Bridge (yeah right), praising his work rate and ‘what he brings to the team’. Faint praise then but he also couldn’t resist a dig at his goal ratio saying “but we want him to score more goals”. Build em up and knock him down Jose. In other team news he revealed that Samuel Eto’o and John Obi Mikel were definitely out but that Ashley Cole would be back in the squad. Nemanja Matic will return to anchor the midfield having been ineligible in midweek at PSG while Ramires is serving a suspension.

Stoke welcome back Jonathan Walters from suspension to continue his will he- won’t he comedy penalty routines but will be without man mountain Robert Huth who is set to miss the remainder of the season through a knee injury. Oussama Assaidi is still sidelined for a few more weeks and it remains to be seen if Charlie Adam can regain his starting role with Stephen Ireland having impressed in his absence, in the hole.

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Everton vs Arsenal (Sun 6 April 13.30)
We’ve talked a lot about relegation clashes this weekend, but the game at Goodison is a massive battle in the fight for that final Champions League spot. A win for the Toffees would put them within a point of the Gunners and with a game in hand. Could you imagine Le Professuer’s face if they didn’t make CL next season? They will of course, as their fixtures are sumptuous in the run-in, but it’ll be fun seeing him moan and fret a bit more in the meantime. His counterpart, Roberto Matinez, is of course flying this season – his team are doing great, he has a smile on his face, they’re challenging for CL footy and are on a great run of five successive wins. Their home form has been the key to their success – they have won their last six games at Goodison, but and this is very Kim Kardashian…a big but – they just don’t beat Arseanal, like hardly ever. No wins in fourteen against the Goonies and just five wins in their last 47 competitive matches – doesn’t bode that well does it? It’s a great time to play the Gunners though, they’ve won just once in five matches, are decimated by injuries, although they played well in last week’s draw with City.

Good news for Ross Barkley owners ahead of the clash as Martinez has declared “Ross has had two very good days since [the Fulham fixture]. We’re going to assess him today and I hope he can join the group today and tomorrow. At the moment, we are very much positive he will be available for the squad.” Less good news on Phil Jagielka though as the boss feels that he needs more time to be 100% before being re-introduced to ensure there is no reoccurrence of the hamstring injury. Take note Pellegrini, this is how you manage those sort of injuries properly. Other than that Martinez is hopeful that Darron Gibson may be fit (yeah, whatever) to feature before the end of the season but Steven Pienaar will be another few weeks at least with his knee injury.

Great news also over in the Arsenal camp. Abu Diaby is back in training and may be set to feature in the latter stages of the season having been out for over 15 years due to every conceivable injury a human can suffer without actually dying. Oh come on Arsene, we know you are getting desperate but this is ridiculous. We initially presumed this was an April Fools joke but apparently not. On a much more serious note early season wonder Aaron Ramsey returns to the squad for this one which may prick the ear of many a fantasy manager. We would be extremely cautious here until he’s started a couple of games or at least finished a few in one piece. Nacho Monreal returns also which is very timely as fellow part time/job-share left-back Kieran Gibbs has heard the news and is seemingly crying off with an ankle complaint. Serge Gnabry has emerged as another doubt while Wenger revealed that center-back Laurent Koscielny will be back next week at the earliest or the week after at the latest. Wenger also took the time to lay into Barca for their bending of the rules on signing youngsters from around the globe. Not something Arsenal would ever be involved in of course. Has the man no shame at all.

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West Ham vs Liverpool (Sun 6 April 16.00)
Last time The Hammers played at home they won and were booed off. Then they went up to Sunderland…..and won. This ain’t going to end well for Big Sam, but you have to have a certain sympathy with him – what did those fans expect when he was appointed? And when they signed Andy Carroll from Liverpool? It was hardly going to be pretty stuff was it – in any sense? Title chasing Liverpool are the guests this week and they’ll be bouncing after going top last weekend, although by the time they play here, they could well be back to second and with City breathing down their necks in third. But all they can do is keep winning  – and they’re winning with style right now. And they have nothing to fear here, surely – the Hammers are pretty much safe and have beaten the Scousers just twice in 22 matches. Carroll will be keen to show Liverpool what they’re missing – lol – what they’re missing? They have SaS up front and they’d miss Horsehead? Nah, I don’t think so.

To add to the wonderment Big Sam has declared “We are on a top six run of form (well done, you’ve won a couple of games)… and hopefully that will give us the chance to challenge Liverpool on Sunday (no it won’t)”. He revealed that defender George McCartney was subbed off on Monday with a hamstring injury and is a doubt for this one. James Collins will probably remain out with a shin/calf injury sustained in the now infamous Hull ‘we boo when we win’ game. Sam revealed that captain Kevin Nolan was withdrawn as a precaution on Monday night but is fit for this one.

Brendan Rodgers finally confirmed that left-back Jose Enrique has been ruled out for the season and so delighting any fantasy managers who have the budget friendly Jon Flanagan in their team as his place is now nailed on. Rodgers had little else to report and he must simply decide whether to continue with the team that thrashed Spurs which saw both Countinho and Sterling feature or make some tweaks as is his want. He did go on to praise both Carroll and Stewart Downing labelling the pair as “fantastic players” and saying Carroll was one of the “best players in Europe in how he plays”. We did check his water at that point for any faint smell of vodka and it was clean so we can only assume he was simply softening the pair up a bit before the Reds run riot at Upton Park.

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Tottenham vs Sunderland (Mon 7 April 20.00)
And so here it is, the end of our game-week – and again we’re going to have to sit through another Sunderland game to get there. Plus its Spurs. Deary, deary me. Plus, we’re going to have to watch the world and his wife despair that Gus Poyet has again left Adam Johnson on the bench. Never have I watched so much adoration for a player who has scored once in six games and failed to net or assist in games vs Hull and Norwich. And then there’s Spurs. Coooooome on youuuu Spurrrrrs – is there a more annoying drone in football? I looked up the word “drone” in the dictionary and the description was as follows: “to make a dull, continued, low, monotonous sound” – yep that pretty much sums up the atmosphere at White Hart Lane, when there is an atmosphere of course. Even their manager sits in the stand now so he doesn’t have to watch the action too closely. Poor old Tim Sherwood, started off great, got Emmanuel Adebayor playing and scoring, his team were winning, he was a breath of fresh air and then things returned to normal. And now, young Sherwood has turned into Pardew the Younger – angry, criticising his players and allegedly he hit Roberto Sodado after last week’s defeat at Liverpool. I say allegedly, as no-one at Spurs has hit anything on target lately, so he probably missed.
Sunderland need to start winning, having games in hand is no good if you don’t win them. Stuck in the bottom three, they are four points from safety, or in other words, West Brom. The Black Cats don’t like going to Spurs, which in itself is understandable, but their PL record at the “Drone” is played 12, won zilch, drawn one, lost eleven. I’ll be fair to Spurs, their home record of late is good – they have won three out of four and they lost to Arsenal in a game they played well in and should have won.

Emmanuel Adebayor returns to the fold for this one and will likely replace the injured Roberto Soldado who was stretchered off at Anfield after suffering from a severe case oD lack of interest and ability. Jan Vertonghen also exited stage left at Anfield, probably due to acute embarrasment  and he will miss out also which should see Michael Dawson partner Younes Kaboul in defence. Kyle Walker continues to struggle with his groin problem so Kyle Naughton will deputise while Paulinho was welcomed back from an eye infection with the news that boss Tim Sherwood has warned him that he will not select his side based on reputation. This was news to Paulinho as he was unaware he had one.

The big news here will of course be whether Poyet insists on not playing his only good player. We expect his hand has been forced and that Adam Johnson will finally be allowed to influence a game in the best way possible – on the pitch. Elsewhere, American Football star Jozy Altidore may be recalled to try and score a few touchdowns and generally throw his considerable weight about at the expense of Connor Wickham, after the experiment of youth backfired so spectacularly.

Good luck this week.

Thanks for reading Team Talk Game-week 33, this article was written by Cookie and Inittowinit