Fantasy Football Tips Gameweek 9
Welcome to Fantasy Football Top 20 Analysis. Kun? No Can Do! “… Kathmandu?” Ok! That took it a bit too far.
But that’s just how funny I am. Really! Between having absolutely no sense of humour to trying to sound an iota as funny as those other legendary writers on this site, I just don’t know how to go about this. So bear with me guys. Be gentle with me (Yikes! Here I go again!).
So, after what seems to be years and decades of freeloading on FF247’s advice, news, wall-street-level stats, suggestions, rate-my-teams and ‘funny-as-other-people’s-pain’ humour; I decided to crunch some numbers and finally give back. If by giving back, it means that the very cool admins accept this (future) Pulitzer piece. The fact that FF247 sent me a free t-shirt, with their cool logo and everything, shipped it all the way to the backwaters of Thimphu, and the first thing I did when it got here was to rip open the package, shove my head through it and tear a gaping hole in the neck, and then misplaced it somewhere in my black hole of a closet which has also been niggling like Sturridge’s ankles in the back of my head till now.
O.K. So, what’s not funny? I’ll tell you what’s not funny. The fact that one, yes ONE single gentleman (or gentlewoman for that matter) of the top 20 players in the whole of premier fantasy league owns Aguero. With a name like redstar, that fantasy-leaguer must be off the bonkers on cheap Vodka. But hey! Who am I to judge? He (or she) is top 20 as of Gameweek 7. But Aguero? Remember that guy? The guy who scores hat-tricks for fun; who can single-handedly win league titles; the darling of fantasy leaguers (not Pep); the guy who’s most likely to be a Japanese comic book hero. The fact that our little hero tried to do a Prince (yes, the singer Prince) and remove some ribs sometime ago; or that Argentinean football in general, is in some kind of doomsday mode, must be why so few in the top 20 or any of the 5.2 or so million fantasy leaguers own him.
Enough of Kun then. Who are the top 20 trying to fill his custom-designed cleats with in the forward positions? As of Gameweek 7 Lukaku, with his size 15s (ahem, no pun intended even though United fans keep reminding us of such), is the lead pretender-to-the-throne, with an enviable ownership of 17 of the 20 top fantasy-leaguers. His league-leading 7 goals and 50 points (second only to Kun) makes him the most owned by in the top 20 as well as nearly 60% of all fantasy leaguers. Kane, yes, the saviour of English football, is a very close second. He is owned by 16 of the top 20 players; has a league-second 6 goals with 45 points and is owned by nearly 39% of all fpl-ers. In addition to these two heavy-hitters, the top 20’s other four preferred strikers (in no particular order of race, gender, income or talent) are Morata (Chelsea), Firminio (Liverpool), Chicharito (West Ham) and Lacazette (Arsenal); each owned by 4, 3, 3, and 3 players respectively in the global top 20.
Unlike strikers, the top 20 do not have a clear preference for any single midfielder. Coutinho, that £200m little magician (for Liverpool fans only), who curls that right footer with more English and accuracy than Angelina Jolie with a Desert Eagle (… go watch Wanted) is somehow the most owned midfielder. 8 of the top 20 own him. How and why, I don’t know. Maybe Neymar has had a private word with those guys (or girls). If he has, I want to officially register my complaint vis-à-vis insider-information-trading and all that. But the little Brazilian (not that Brazilian, you idiots!) is a huge differential, since only 8.7% of all fantasy-leaguers own him. Maybe he is expected to explode with points at some point? (O.k. At this point, I just give up with my puns). He is followed closely in ownership by Mikhitarian (Manchester United), Silva (Manchester City) and Salah (Liverpool); each owned by 7, 7, and 6 of the top 20. An honorable mention for Kante (owned by 5 of the top 20 players) whose ‘quadruple lung’ is the only reason (in my opinion) why Chelsea sold Matic to United. WHY? HOW? Only the master of the dark arts Mourinho knows.
Then there’s defence. Like strikers, our top 20 clearly prefer one or two players above all others. Tottenham’s Davies, who wasn’t on most fpl-ers radars (c’mon, be honest), is owned by 14 of the top 20. His fantasy-league-leading 49 points shows why he is so coveted. He is owned by nearly a quarter of all fantasy leaguers and in no way looks to be replaced by anyone, anytime soon; a ‘Rose by any other name’ or otherwise. The next best thing – defense-wise – is Arsenal’s Monreal, who is owned by 10 of the top 20. I think they’ve forgotten the 4-0 drubbing by Liverpool. But they have not lost a game since then, so maybe there is value in an Arsenal defence. Those in the top 20 who own Monreal perhaps know more than us, since again, he makes a very good differential. Not only is Monreal not even in the top 25 of the most selected defenders by fantasy players worldwide, he is also third behind Kolasinac and Bellerin at Arsenal, who have both scored fewer points and cost much more. Make of that as you may. Trippier (Tottenham), Bailly (Manchester United), Hegazi (West Brom) and Mbemba (Newcastle), owned by 6, 5, 5, and 5 of the top 20 players worldwide are the other preferred defenders.
Finally, in terms of goalies, there is no debate really. De Gea, who single-handedly kept Manchester United’s season alive last year, the year before that, and … (O.k. enough) is the clear choice between the sticks for 15 of the top 20 fantasy leaguers. This year, he has kept 6 clean sheets (from 7 games!) scored 49 points so far, and is owned by a little over 37% of all fantasy leaguers. Personally, if there is one goalie who stands a chance at breaking the world record fee for a goalkeeper or better yet, become the first £100m goal-keeper, it’s this guy. We just have to wait and see who’s desperate enough to fork out that kind of Mayweather money – Real Madrid, Manchester City, PSG? Anyway, the next keeper no one will be forking out more than £10m for, but is selected by 6 of the top 20 players in fantasy league is Newcastle’s Eliott. Even though he does not even crack top 7 in terms of points scored, he is dirt-cheap at 4.1 million and therefore, owned by exactly a quarter of all fantasy league players. Like Hegazi, West Brom’s Foster gets an honourable mention for goalkeepers owned by 3 of our very own top 20.
So there you have it. If you’ve been left frustrated by your FPL team. If you do a -4 or -8 week in, week out. If you are the joke of your mini-league, mini-bar, your office and your missus, then pay heed to these 20 wise people. Do as they do and improve your standings – fantasy-league-wise and personal fantasy-wise. The winter is upon us. Use that Wild Card judiciously. Copy a team if you must. Unless these people use their WC too and change their teams drastically. Then you’re sh*t out of luck.
Thank you all for hearing me out. I sincerely hope your eyes and ears aren’t bleeding now. My fingers certainly are.
Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Top 20 Analysis
This article was written by PunkDragon.
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Gameweek Tracker GW8-11