Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 9
Welcome to Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 9. Fantasy Football is played by over 3 million people. A lot of them come to this website for help. This is an article to help you, the Fantasy Premier League manager, select his, or her, captain for the upcoming gameweek.
This is a serious business. I want you to know that like all of the writers here, I take my responsibility as this week’s article author extremely seriously.
It also hasn’t escaped me that for many of you playing in mini leagues, there is money at stake. Some of you need that money to pay your bills. Some need it to feed your family. Some of you, playing in Colombia for example, need that money to pay the ransom to get your sibling back from the cartel. That makes this a game of life and death. And that… that is some serious sh*t.
Given the huge seriousness of this, I feel I need to come clean with my Fantasy credentials, before you take my advice and wander off down a path that could lead to the death of a brother or sister. At time of writing this, I sit outside the top 600,000 players. Hardly impressive, I know. And I’m only that high because I didn’t realize that my starting keeper lost his place three weeks ago and my sub keeper happened to score me 17 points.
9 of my outfield players last week combined to score an average of 1.7 points per player. It was only my 26 point captain (and my GK oversight) that saved my gameweek.
Last night I accidently made myself a cup of caffeinated tea instead of decaf and sat up for 4 hours waiting to fall asleep. Last week I missed my exit on my way home from work. This is on you now, you hear me? Ok. Let’s do this.
Pick number one: My Top Pick. Theodore Walcott. Arsenal player. Playing against Middlesborough of the North.
Regular writers inform me that this is the part of the article where it’s polite to provide you with a few facts, to give the impression this advice is coming to you from some sort of Fantasy guru. We both know the real story, but I’ll oblige anyway. Here’s what I found on google…
Theo has scored 4 goals and provided 2 assists in his last 4 games. I feel I should also inform you that in those same 4 games he was also awarded with two clean sheets. I had made the assumption that at his age Theo would be going through the night by now without any accidents. But, whatever. Well done Theo. (Joke for those with young kids there.) Unfunny wet bed jokes aside, you do actually get an extra point for a clean sheet. And if you’ve captained the player, that one point turns into two!!! I know! Crazy eh.
It’s been a while, but in addition to the stats, I recall it being an idea to reference the last time the two teams played each other in the league. For those of you silly enough to think it makes a difference… Arsenal won 2-0 last time out. It was in 2009. You’re welcome.
Before I move onto my second pick for this week’s armband, it is worth a thought for Alexis Sanchez. He’s on good form, and is less likely to have a mid-game collapse as young Theo. By a huge coincidence, Sanchez is also playing against Middlesborough of the North this weekend, and in case you weren’t already aware, last time they played in the league, Arsenal won. So that’s a good sign.
Final stats: Middlesborough OTN have lost four of their last five, conceding seven (goals) in the process. About a good a match up as exists this week.
Pick B, part 7: The pick that will give me instant credibility in those circles of readers who only scan the names mentioned at the top of each section… Sergio Aguero. UAE Royal Family play thing. Playing against Southampton of the South.
The matchup isn’t ideal – Southampton OTS have won three of their last five and only conceded three goals over that time period. That said, Man City were on somewhat of a hot streak, with three wins on the bounce and ten goals scored in their last 5 games before Spurs halted them and then they conspired to miss two penalties and gift Everton a draw.
Ok, reasons to believe… What about that in the five games this season where he’s played more than 80 minutes, Sergio has 5 goals. That’s not bad. If I do some quick maths on that… wait… nearly there… Yep. That’s almost a goal a game! Just hope he doesn’t take any penalties.
Finally, for those of you nervous about what happened a year ago, I can tell you that there were ten goals scored in the two games between these teams last season. Sergio played a total of 62 mins and didn’t score. Man, I’m smashing it with these stats. Here’s another… The owner of Man City has two wives. And one of them is his second cousin. What is the world coming to?
Pick nose: The pick that will have you saying “wait a minute, this guy really knows his stuff. Or, maybe he’s just looked at the scores from last gameweek”. Yes, it’s Mr Joseph Allen. Stoke Player. Playing against the Hull City Tiger Cats.
In addition a desire to return to the gutter, it appears that the white George Weah’s cousin has actually found some form of late. He’s scored four goals in his last three outings, all of which were to Premier league football matches. There really are no other options for outings when you live in Stoke. He’s picked up two clean sheets (worth four points when captained), and has amassed seven bonus points. Incredible.
Fixture wise, those of you that don’t do your research are probably rubbing your hands with glee at this point. Stoke play against Hull, a team that were just beaten 6-1 by Bournemouth! Bournemouth!?! I didn’t even realise they were in the Premier league. But wait. Remember I told you earlier about research and stuff?
Well get this… And here’s the note of caution… The last time Hull lost 6-1, the very next game they bounced right back and won 2-1! Now, take that for whatever you think is best. It was in 1999 and it was when Hull played Carlisle United, but don’t you ever say I don’t take this gig seriously.
PS. Goal scorer that day was John Eyre, who is now Hull’s kit man! You couldn’t make this sh*t up.
Picachu. The pick for those people that just want a gentle prod in a general direction and be left to make the wrong choice all on their own. The Liverpool Midfield. Liverpool players. Playing against West Bromwich of the Albion.
No one really knows where the goals are going to come from at Liverpool. All we know is that there will probably be some. They’ve banged in 14 in their last five games and seven of those have either been scored by or assisted by Coutinho (1G 3A) or Milner (3G, 0A).
So grab one of them. Or Mane. Or Lallana. Or Firmino. Honestly, just make your own mind up. Or post some stuff in the forum below, meet some nice people and steal their ideas. Whatever you do, know that I will be sticking with Theo until he breaks. Thanks for reading. I have to go now, my bath has got cold.
Thanks for reading Fantasy Premier League Captain Picks Gameweek 9. This article was written by Chins and Bellies
Fixture Tracker – the next 6 games