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Fantasy Football Captain Picks

Captains Picks Fantasy Football Gameweek 33

Captains Picks Fantasy Football Gameweek 33 – Fantasy Premier League 2014/15

Captain picks3 game ban for a straight red card. 10 game ban for Suarez after he racially abused Evra. 11 game ban for Di Canio after he pushed over a referee. A 20 week ban? You’d have to do something really bad for that. Surely? Nope. That’s how long my ban was from FF247 after I tipped Joey Barton in my last Captain’s article, all the way back in Gameweek 13! Honestly, you wouldn’t believe the fuss that caused!
Let me take you back to that fateful day…
It was just another normal Tuesday morning on FF247.co.uk. The site was buzzing. Regulars were chatting about their weekend’s points totals. Some were happy. Some were sad. Some were annoyed that they only scored 118 points. There were Monkey pictures. There were puns. There was Raz. All was right in the world, and then….it happened. “New captain’s picks article is live”, announced Cookie. Then, BOOM! Within minutes of the article being live on the site, I was summoned to FF247 HQ, Liverpool, for a disciplinary hearing with Init and Kop.
After paying a local £10 to “watch my car”, the hearing took place in Init’s office on the top floor. It started off ok, although it was hard for me to concentrate as the walls were all painted in bright yellow. (He must have a thing for that colour.) Anyway…it soon descended into the clichéd ‘good Kop’ / ‘bad Kop’ routine. I came through that easy enough though, and was then offered a plea deal if I rolled over on the brains behind the Barton tip/spoof. There was no way was I going to give up Tekno’s name that easily, so the mood became darker. I was taken down to the basement and the interrogation continued….
After enduring some highly illegal Colombian torture techniques – I had to watch a Rangers game (a bit worse than Sunday league) whilst locked in a cell with Potty – I was then offered some ‘alternative’ punishments by the disciplinary panel as a way of reducing the length of my ban. The problem was, I couldn’t be bothered to read the ridiculously long list of options that GP offered me, and I certainly wasn’t willing to do the thing that Cookie wanted me to do. So we went to court…
After several rounds of failed appeals and unfavourable rulings (that’s what happens with Migs as your legal rep), I finally switched lawyers to a big US law firm, headed up by Lawdogg. Countless working lunches and scandalous over-billing later, he used his excellent wrangling skills to get me a reduced sentence!
So, just 19 gameweeks later, here I am.
Ban served. Lesson learned. Let’s talk Fantasy Football…

This week see’s our options reduced thanks to a dramatically shrunken fixture list. There is no Arsenal, Aston Villa, Hull, Liverpool, QPR or Sunderland players to choose from, so I couldn’t tip Barton, even if I wanted to.

Fixtures
Sat 18 Apr 15.00
Crystal Palace vs West Brom
Everton vs Burnley
Leicester vs Swansea
Stoke vs Southampton

Sat 18 Apr 17.30
Chelsea vs Man Utd

Sun 19 Apr 13.30
Man City vs West Ham

Sun 19 Apr 16.00
Newcastle vs Spurs

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I ridiculed GP last week for his ‘top 10’ tips. Honestly. “10”?! You guys don’t expect us to sit on the fence and cover our arses like that. You want us to do the thinking so you don’t have to. You want a short ‘short list’. You want decisiveness.
You’ll get that from me folks. Don’t you worry.

Here’s my Top 7 Tips for this week:

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[/three_fourth]Group 1: For Managers who….have their league sown up / don’t want to take any chances / love midgets.
Eden Hazard home vs Man Utd.
A goal and assist in his last home game, the breathtaking Belgian has the player of the year wrapped up already. Will be looking to add to his goal tally and make the Premiership title (almost) secure with a big performance against an in-form Utd.

Juan Mata away vs Chelsea.
A tough game coming up against his previous employers (and title favorites) Chelsea, but marvelous Mata has finally found his form in recent weeks with a massive 30 fantasy points in his last three games. Not been great from outside the box, but as we all know, it’s what’s inside the box that Mata’s.

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[/three_fourth]Group 2: For Managers who…believe that the guy who was in form several weeks ago and will come back strong this week.
Harry Kane away vs Newcastle.
Not scored in his last two games. Overrated English rubbish. I knew it wouldn’t last. Should never have dropped Adebayor. Ok, so it’s not all doom and gloom. The league’s joint top scorer is bound to start scoring again soon, and the Geordies have only kept two clean sheets in their last 10 home games.

David Silva home vs West Ham. (An excuse for wordsmithery).
The majestic midget (has that one been used already?) has shown glimpses of his brilliance on and off all season. City fans and FPL players alike will be hoping West Ham give space to the inconsequential innovator to work his magic.

Sergio Aguero home vs West Ham.
“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” – Albert Einstein when asked by Sergio Aguero how best to stop City’s embarrassing slide toward Europa league football. He’s a class player and has just found his scoring form. Looking for revenge after a loss at Upton Park.

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[/three_fourth]Group 3: For Managers who…like a big hitting differential / are loopy / are called Potty.
Glenn Murray home vs WBA.
The man on form. Murray leads the line against a WBA team that haven’t won away since 1st November. He has three goals and four assists in his last three games. He’s on such good form he’s had a mint named after him.

Jamie Vardy home vs Swansea.
Leicester have scored 8 goals in their last three matches and are playing for their Premiership lives. Vardy has averaged 8 fantasy points per game over that time period (2 goals, 2 assists and 4bps). They come up against a Swansea team focused on losing enough games to avoid the inconvenience of playing Europa League football next season.

Good luck this week everybody. I’ll be placing my trust in Aguero.

Thanks for reading Captain’s Picks Fantasy Football Gameweek 33. This article was written by Chins


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Don’t forget to vote in this week’s Captain Poll

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131 Comments

  1. 7

    Thanks Chins! At the very least people will now know who is the enforcer around FF247. But I prefer if you call it enhanced interrogation techniques.

    To be fair I knew it was Tekno, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to shove you know what up your you know what. Hope you walking ok now. 😉

  2. 8
    GentleBenAKA says:

    Thanks Chins!

    I’m going for Hazard.

  3. 9
    Mitro says:

    Great article chins!! It made me chuckle and definitely cheered me up after spending 2.5 hours stuck on the M6!!

    Murray for me!!!

    • 9.1
      chins says:

      Glad you got unstuck Mitro my friend. And brave move on Murray. Hope it works out for you.

      I got stuck in traffic once. Stuck behind an accident where a bus had driven off a cliff with 15 tottenham fans in it. I was gutted. The bus could’ve held at least 30.

      😉

  4. 10
    LaByRiNtH says:

    Rate my team plz,

    Myhill
    Azpi bertrand alder duff
    Haz boyd eriksen silva
    Kane kun (c)

    Panti ozil giroud pva

    2FT with 2.2 ITB

    Who should i transfer out?
    Thinking ozil to hendo for DGW
    And maybe giroud to sturridge?

    Your comment is appreciated

    • 10.1
      chins says:

      Hi Dave Bowie 80’s film about a maze,

      Maybe a tad premature on the liverpool moves there mate. Blank this week and i’m not sure Sturridge is likely to be fit to play one let alone two games in the DGW.

      What about ditching Giroud to Murray for this week, save 1 FT and stick one of the burnley boys on the bench?

  5. 11
    inittowinit says:

    Brilliant stuff chins. (Don’t press charges). Well done mate and thank you. (Don’t press charges). Loved the intro. (Don’t press charges). First time we’ve ever had an article shorter than the intro I think! (Don’t press charges). The picks felt like I was re-reading the Aintree runners and riders tips! (Don’t press charges).

    Aguero for me I think. (If you do, it was all Mito). 😉

    • 11.1
      chins says:

      ha!!

      You’re welcome boss.

      Sorry for the slight imbalance in the article. – I figured that at this stage of the season everyone knows who the players are stat wise, and i had a lot i wanted to get off my chest!

      It’ll be back to good old solid facts, facts, facts and stats if i’m allowed back again!! 😉

      • inittowinit says:

        Chins I didn’t mean it like that at all, I’m surprised we aren’t down to barely just mentioning the names by now. 36 will be surnames, 37 nicknames and 38 will just be ‘whatever’. laugh

        Some brilliantly innovative capos articles lately which are quickly becoming the highlight of my fantasy week!

  6. 12
    DavidBarrett1994 says:

    Great article as always. Any tips for my team? Also how long is Costa out for?

    • 12.1
      inittowinit says:

      Hi David, Costa is out for about another 3 weeks if Jose is to be believed. That means you have 1 striker this week effectively. Given the value of him I think Costa needs to go to free up funds for next week. Personally I’d take a punt on Vardy or even Nugent given their DGW and decent fixtures either side of it. Murray is another option. This will free you up to make some positive moves next week such as Sterling and maybe even Cesc.

      • DavidBarrett1994 says:

        Lol just actually put Vardy in my team. Not sure if to keep or Change mane though as he doesn’t always play full games..

        • inittowinit says:

          He’s been an odd one Mane as his game time has been erratic but whenever he does play he seems to produce. Looking at your team again I guess you would have to chance him playing this week with Phillips on a blank or just bite the bullet early and get Cesc in for him now?

        • DavidBarrett1994 says:

          Hmm Cesc is a good shout. Reckon my defence is ok? Torn between Cesc and replacing naughton due to his injury and my players playing against each other. Cheers for the help by the way.

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