Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 4
Welcome to Captain Picks Gameweek 4! It’s already Tuesday evening or beyond. GW3 has drifted by and, unless Mitrovic was in your team, it probably left you feeling slightly… flat. There’s now an air of routine to proceedings. Reality even — many gameweek scores dropping below 50 and flurries of 4-point hits have begun to set in; talk of Wildcarding has already surfaced on the FF247 boards and hollered above the gunshots in a certain Colombian neighbourhood.
Transfers aside, there’s an ever-present ingredient in almost every recipe for tear-free gameweek success, exemplified by Salah-vs-Agüero debates and their GW2 returns: the captaincy. After a Friday night of drinking and aimless FPL deliberation, you can only pick one player to take back home, a promising young man to sport your, erm, ‘armband’ for the weekend. It usually looks fairly good on him, granted, but how about on the following Sunday morning? Waking up rough and suddenly feeling your pillow thoughts being plagued by that dodgy, now-ugly, two-point captain failure can be stomach-churning. Who will still appeal in a bright bedroom? Let’s eye this weekend’s hottest offerings and begin that futile deliberation process with a few biased stats and sheet quips.
Sergio Agüero vs Newcastle (H)
In between bouts of hungover sleep, you sense that it’s quite spacious underneath those silky covers, yet you’re not alone. There’s a much-bigger-than-usual bulge protruding to your left and it’s also periodically bobbing at a much-slower-than-usual pace: a gently breathing, peacefully sleeping, adorably little Argentinian man. He’s in the foetal position and looks familiar. Yes, upon further inspection, you recognise his trashy arm tattoos as a flashback unfolds from the darkest depths of your clouded mind. Sergio Agüero. He’s been here before! You daringly invited him to stay over on a cold October night a few years back and, thanks to his physical stamina, you scored 5 times in under 20 minutes. It was a performance to savour; one for the fantasy record books. Having allegedly rattled the woodwork twice last weekend, he then endlessly brags about his more recent forward endeavours, including a similar time that you shared together. Last season, on another dreamy weekend, you scored a further 3 times thanks to Sergio’s efforts. “This has clearly gone too far,” you muse, “but it also just feels… right.” In turmoil, you timidly rouse this beast and ask him to leave for the dozenth time, a request which brings a wry smile to his face: “That’s fine. I’m better off playing at home! Te veo la próxima semana.”
Rosco will undoubtedly be despising the ‘multi-team’ undertones in this post already and it’s only going to get worse for the poor man: Newcastle have now conceded 3+ goals in all 6 of their latest Etihad visits for a PL fixture. You might have noticed ‘7’ for Agüero’s form but it fails to credit his prowess at home, with 14 goals in his most recent 7 matches, halted only once by Chelsea’s visit. Sergio hardly ever wets the bed. You don’t need to read on.
Form: 7
Fixture: 8
Explosiveness: 9
Eden Hazard vs Bournemouth (H)
If the previous imagery was a bit much, please visualise the graphic Sunday-morning bedroom again, only this time with a stench of waffles. Whilst you have slightly fewer irritating hairs on your pillow, there’s not so much room under those sheets, as a perky bum (you’re spared from any skin contact by some blue shorts) is forcing its way across to your side. You confidently ask him (a cocky Belgian midget) to leave this time, outright refusing to give him your ball as you snap, so he kicks you. Lessons learned.
Don’t be fooled by Hazard’s occasional foul play. He’s provided an attacking contribution in every match so far, coming off the bench twice to slip in an assist before tucking away his penalty in Newcastle’s defeat last weekend, and looks rather potent. Bournemouth are no pushovers, but really, Chelsea should be the dominator in this exchange.
Form: 6
Fixture: 7
Explosiveness: 7
Mohamed Salah vs Leicester (A)
Increasing the bulge size slightly further, you now awaken to frizzy hairs all over your chest and face, but each one seems long enough to be public rather than pubic. Several deprived Scouse children suddenly burst into the room, but Mo’s not having any of it, not again. Not on such a fine morning — it’s not even a school day — you’ve trusted last year’s biggest p l A y e r with your captaincy. That’s a hook-up which nearly always yields a satisfying, if not spectacular, result.
Salah’s a quilt-edged armband option; you can’t really go wrong with a player who’s in almost 55% of all squads and averages ~8 points per match. The main bonuses of captaining the FPL community’s 2nd-favourite Egyptian gem (Ahmed Hegazi will always hold that special title) are probably casual-crowd safety and high confidence when waiting for points. You certainly shouldn’t expect any literal bonuses here! Some managers plan to stick with Salah for the season (the vulgarity of that statement has now become disturbingly clear) and this submissive tactic might yet pay off.
Form: 7
Fixture: 6
Explosiveness: 8
Wilfried Zaha vs Southampton (H)
It almost feels inappropriate to bring The Bedroom Treatment out for any old player. You don’t captain a player like this when it’s only GW4 and nobody’s chasing mini-leagues yet, but you probably expect more than just 3 captaincy candidates too, so let’s persist.
Here’s a player who no longer cares about clean sheets now that he’s moved to his favourite position. Often playing up top, Zaha likes ripping nets, with a tendency to… yes, ok, this needs to stop. All you need to remember is that playing Southampton usually ends well for their opponents these days and Wilfried appears to be flirting with double-digit point hauls. Just a little more discipline — a neat assist instead of a yellow card — and he’d sleep soundly. This one seems more like desperation in a last-chance summer fling.
Form: 5
Fixture: 7
Explosiveness: 6
Benjamin Mendy vs Newcastle (H)
If you swap the capitalised letters of his two names – ok, nah, scrap that.
Waking up to find Mendy in your bed probably means that you can’t walk for the rest of the week. His venomous left foot can whip in some lethal crosses; your only real hope here’s that Benjamin doesn’t possess a similarly feisty left hand. He frequently assists by putting balls into dangerous areas — manoeuvres that have recently succeeded multiple times per outing — all whilst rarely relenting from his up-and-down motion. Again, this pick isn’t particularly advisable just yet, but don’t be surprised if he mercilessly beats many popular, household, aforementioned captaincy candidates.
Form: 8
Fixture: 8
Explosiveness: 4
Good luck this weekend, guys, and thanks for tolerating this.
Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 4. This article was written by jamesimmo.
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Is Walcott a bad choice as captain?
I don’t know, surely not as explosive as Kun, and he doesn’t have great xG stat either..,
I didn’t include him because he probably is a closet homosexual. I didn’t want him chasing me with an army of lawyers. That said, Huddersfield (H) is pretty tasty, and he’s got form to warrant consideration. Do you think he can outscore Agüero?
Did you just say he’s an in form homosexual that you deliberately left out of this week’s captain’s hall of fame for that reason? Army of lawyers incoming.
After this hilarious article maybe we should expect a diferent Fantasy247 team meeting for summer 2019 :smiling:
I am sure there has been a thread on this but just can’t find it.
Best replacement for Richarlison?
Walcott (2 reasonable home games)
Pereyra (2 tough home games)
Pedro (2 supposedly easy home games, but fear of Willian rotation)
Other popular names for this move are Maddison, Iwobi, gundogan, Neves, Milner or possibly back to preseason favorite Jota.
Walcott for me out of those! Nailed on and great two home fixtures! And seems to be in some form too!
Seems to be most popular choice, cheers Zed.
Walcott is the obvious move there. Those three have the higest ownership % anyway so yeah stick with one of them for that reason, if nothing else.
If you feel punty, though, I would suggest Pascal Grob. Brighton are normally strong at home and have Fulham and then it’s Southampton, so two good fixtures and has already scored a home goal. The caveat being that he didn’t start in gw3 vs Liverpool (probably tactical) and did last night’s cup game vs Southampton, having been subed around the hour mark.
I considered him but like you said the technical caveat made me ponder, that and after it is Soton away. Rather get someone in for those 2 GWs and use the next FT for an obvious choice or save it for his return.
Any suggestion for replacing Richarlison in My Rules? He has to be a new player for this season or someone who moved to a new club plus any from the three promoted teams.
Money’s no object.
Does Mkhi qualify? He did start last season at a different club! Ok, I’m sure Zorro will subsequently ban you from the league without previous hearing so perhaps go safe with someone like Felipe Anderson? Looked good at the emirates and WH looked a different beast last night when he came on. I know it was against 10-man Wimbledon but they were abysmal before he came on. They do have tough fixtures but they are all at home, so a big score for him is not out of reach.
No Mkhi can’t be included, only the ones who moved or came to PL this summer. Anderson is a great shout. Thanks DMC.
He did move clubs!
Mkhi moved last season though not this so won’t be allowed in this my rules team.
Yep, only summer 2018 moves.
Just for your information DMC; the punishments were decided by the My Rules managers years ago over on First, I’m only the enforcer. Name 1 manager that has been binned without warning. Ask Ivan, he’ll confirm. Have you seen anybody that actually plays My Rules complain? Have you? Sod off.
Oh cmon I was only messing with you! I like the concept, just didn’t manage to have the time/patience to enter one this year but perhaps next year I will. And you are right to be strict about it, otherwise it loses the fun. Mkhi was just me trying to sneak in an unexpected asset to Ivan’s team, if there was a fault in regulations, which clearly there isn´t!
OK, fair enough mate. You could do a team now, a “locked & loaded”, which means you can only change players who are flagged red, or a BGW… In other words almost no maintenance. If the rule’s ok, then you have an option for next season, why not give it a bash?
If you do, team name maybe RunDMC’s L&L… 😉
You know how the boxers/martial arts wimps have their intro music, here’s yours https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B_UYYPb-Gk
Only two spring to mind for me is maddison or schurrle
Nice one Rogueblood :thumbup:
That was an interesting capo’s article! Thanks James
I’ll be on Kun this weekend!! 😉 That is until Cookie talks me out of it
You’ll be “on” Kun? Is this a sequel now?
I couldn’t possibly say
I knew this would catch on!
Thank you, Kop, and good luck! The Cookie Monster isn’t supposed to get scared.
Amusing read, James. I have four of them so hopefully I’m set for a good gameweek!
Also, is there a prize for manager of the month in the Regulars’ League? No? There should be :hippo:
AT, there was a prize pot, but we blew it all in Sapporo Teppanyaki last month… 😉 cheers, mate, and keep it up.
Your current FPL form, that is, just so we’re clear!
Looks like I’ll have to do a site pass around then and get some money 😉
You weren’t clear enough, but the doctor said I should have no problem in doing so with these new pills he has given me
What are the chances Cardiff to shutout Arsenal and that guy Etheridge to add to his 28 points after three games :woot:
He has saved 2 penalties, that won’t happen too many times again over the season, and they have TERRIBLE fixtures ahead. So, don’t expect to much from him in a while…. Could get alot of saves….
Yes AB, the fixtures look scary but who knows, he could be the next hidden gem we are all going to be talking about soon.
Surely he could be.
Last season Fabianski managed to get 157 points with only 9 clean sheets, so why not…
I hope not. Im giving PEA so really hoping he can score against cardiff atleast.
I really hope not. Cardiff have probably filled up their clean-sheet quote for the whole season already! That said, with all these missed Auba chances, who knows.
That’s true. Maybe from GW 11 onwards he could be seriously considered.