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Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 2

Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 2

Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 2

Scene from Altman’s ‘The Long Goodbye’, which hopefully will inspire readers to don a suit and smoke a cigarette whilst pondering who to captain this week. Gould’s Philip Marlowe would not captain Salah. He’d probably let his cat decide.

Welcome to Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 2.  I hope this finds you all mentally sound, high on Boudin noir – and that you’re not in a brown study, brought on by premature wildcarding.

Given that most of the community will be captaining Salah this week – or will if they have any sense – then I did consider submitting one candidate for this article with the words ‘don’t overthink it’. Amused by this idea but wanting to give you, dear reader, something more, I tried writing a Haiku instead, but could only manage this unfinished and profoundly mediocre effort:

A heavy, hirsute boot runs
betrayed by the sea

However after a cold shower and a couple of stiff drinks, followed by a bit of head-scratching, staring at coffee grounds and rolling a dice or two I hope I’ve made a reasonable attempt to completely waste your time make you half-consider one or two others: with the emphasis on one or two.

Mo Salah

Mohamed Salah of Liverpool makes his usual compelling case for you to choose him as your captain. (Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images)

Pros: Form and fixture. Salah’s started the season in fine fettle and rewarded his many owners in GW1 with a solid, double-digit return – the first, I am sure, of many. Given that the opposition this week is a poor looking Southampton side – if you believe the comments of their fans – who conceded three at Burnley, then you’d fancy Salah for a goal at least. His scoring record in Liverpool’s last four games against Southampton looks good: 5 goals out of a total of 11 scored*.

Cons: The air of old boys’ reunion adds a whiff of spice to this tie. On the subject, the return to the starting line up of Mané (one would imagine) may reduce the number of chances Salah gets.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

Auba defies the laws of gravity. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

Pros: Bit of form and bit of a fixture. A well-taken goal v Newcastle suggests Auba has his shooting boots on. For non-Salah owners then Auba may be worth a think. Has a great name.

Cons: The ‘bit of a fixture’ is Burnley, who started with an assured clean sheet, were well-organised by all accounts and who I doubt will roll over easily. They may, in fact, win the match. Auba’s very much a punt and I doubt many will be giving him serious consideraion just yet. He may come in handy in giving Pope save points. Less fancifully, some bizarre rotation may mess up things for his owners.

Raheem Sterling

‘Choose Mo as captain,’ guffaws RS, ‘what about me?’ (Photo by Tom Flathers/Manchester City FC via Getty Images)

Pros: Very hot form and a home fixture against a slightly iffy looking Spurs. Top point scorer in GW1 and, crucially, top in terms of the influence** metric (with Barnes a very distant second) on the FPL site. I won’t insult your intelligence with any more of this waffle.

Cons: I wouldn’t have thought Spurs will be the pushover West Ham were. Despite their relative jitters v Aston Villa they still managed to prevail. May be a close contest. Won’t be allowed to take a penalty.

The Ones who Got Away
Wilson, Jimenez, Firmino, Mané. I gave Kane some thought but not much, given the opposition. Need to see more of Man U before tipping them.

Best of luck.

*source: Swirly’s article.
** Please don’t ask me about the influence metric.

Thanks for reading Fantasy Football Captain Picks Gameweek 2. This article was written by Kralin.




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  1. 1
    Loud Atlas says:

    Nice, Kralin! I reckon Mané could be a good differnetial this week. Easy pick this week. I’ll take your mediocre haiku and give you an even mediocrerer (new word!) one:

    Capping Salah, yep;
    Spurs and City too close so
    Sterlo for VC.

    • 1.1
      Kralin says:

      Thanks and – bravo. Great effort. I love the ‘yep’ – gives it all a bit of snap.

      Mané’s ownership is pretty high, all things considered. He’s be first off the rank for me if Salah were injured.

  2. 2


    A warm welcome back to writing duties for our all English gent Kralin who has just about managed to widen this week’s net beyond the bleeding obvious.

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Silvers says:

    Great stuff Kralin , bit boring picking Salah all the time but wouldn’t I possibly pick someone else , enjoyed the read mate

  5. 5
    AJW says:

    That’s why you’ve been relatively quiet over the past 12 hours – Monsieur K! Good info – common sense advice with a twist of culture (often cinematographic!). Chuffed to have an indirect mention via le Boudin Noir! Glory through blood sausage. Should be translated into Latin and fobbed off to one of the lesser Royals! You have a formidable task this year of being the ‘voice of reason ‘ for many of we lesser FPL players! Keep it coming K! Cheerio! AJW.

    • 5.1

      It was impressively shoehorned in there. I get the impression that every article this week may now have some black pudding reference!

    • 5.2
      Kralin says:

      Thanks AJW. There could be some mileage in extending the New Hollywood filmic idea – maybe writing an extended article in the exhausting style of Travis Bickle:

      ‘ Of course I’m fkn captaining Salah. Why wouldn’t I captain Salah? You think I look like the kinda prick who’d fkn captain Barkley? You do?’

    • 5.3
      Zed Leppelin says:

      Well we’ve got this “ryynimakkara” that I love, it’s quite close to this Boudin Nour, I guess, only it’s not written with capital letters ( lol ), made of barley groats and blood… They refer to it as a ‘Black Sausage” or “Mustamakkara” as well…

      • Kralin says:

        Sounds good. For some reason – mainly from reading books about The Gulag Archipelago (I appreciate they weren’t in Finland) I’ve always associated food from the north with things like berries, fish and incredibly strong tea. I appreciate this is highly fanciful.

        • Zed Leppelin says:

          We eat a lot of berries and fish, cause we have loads and loads of forest and loads and loads of lakes… They don’t call us the land of ten thousand lakes for nothing 😉 In fact, blueberries are literally everywhere in Finland, just walk into a forest and you’re good to go, enjoy these superfood berries, belly full of blueberries, they’ve everywhere and supposedly they’re very healthy! Also we’ve got wild strawberries that taste a lot better than the grown ones! Lingonberries are, similar to blueberries, basically everywhere! But the best berry we’ve got is the cloudberry, that is simply little drops of heaven if you ever get to pick it yourself in the forest and put it straight to your mouth! Nam, nam, nam! Oh and wild raspberries of course, just check ’em out for worms!

          And of course the mushrooms, now is the season for penny buns (or cep, I think, is what they’re apparently also called), if you’ve got spruce trees you’ve got these penny buns, and they are my favorite mushroom, so delicious! You could just slice one in the forest and put it straight on a piece of bread and enjoy! And chanterelles! Delicious!

          And of course we eat a lot of fish, both fresh water and sea fish, salmon, trout, pike, perch, and so on and so forth… The best thing to have is a slice of seasoned salmon, salt, a bit of dill and sugar, raw, not cooked, just seasoned for a while, on a piece of good old rye bread!!

        • Zed Leppelin says:

          BUT I DIGRESS!!! rofl

  6. 6
    AT says:

    Nice work, Kralin. Think I’d captain Auba if I had him. As I don’t, it’ll be Salah or Sterling for me.

    Potentially going to make an early move this week to bring in Martial. Can’t see Lucas getting much against City. Usually I don’t think early transfers are worth the risk of injury but I might not be able to afford him soon and price changes are unpredictable at this stage of the season.

    • 6.1
      Kralin says:

      I really can see the appeal of Martial – I have an easier choice, as I’m holding Fraser – but Moura’s not the worst player to have and you may welcome hanging on. Man U’s game may not be a walk in the park, either.

      Fraser may well move on for me next week but I’ll be looking at Siggy, David Silva and I daresay some others (including Martial) for GW3 and beyond. Not having Siggy started to worry me earlier, for some irrational reason.

      • AT says:

        The fixtures are great for Everton. Given that their inability to score in preseason continued into the league, I want to see some goals before jumping on Siggy. He could be great value though.

        Wolves away is a tricky fixture but City away is worse! I’ll probably leave it a day to ponder.

      • Zed Leppelin says:

        If I had Moura I would probably sell right now for Martial… Moura against City and then Son comes back to the picture, it all becomes a bit dodgy. Whereas Fraser is nailed and he’s the only creative force at Bournemouth (well pretty much), and has Villa this week, so the situation with Fraser is a lot more unstraightforward (what’s with all these new words today smile )

        • AT says:

          Yeah I think I will sell. Just want to leave it as long as possible to reduce the risk of injury. Surely he won’t go up today. He doesn’t look close!

        • Zed Leppelin says:

          I have no idea on these new price rises, but yeah seems like it’s rather slow and looks like only Ederson and Sterling would be likely to rise…

        • Kralin says:

          I was amused when our site price rise predictor popped up earlier, in its engagingly unpredictable way, a bit like one of those slightly malfunctioning characters in a Philip Dick novel. The grav they use heightens the sense of unreality. It adds something to the site that has nothing to do with the supposed function it’s meant to perform.

        • viktorsjolin says:

          What about Bilva to Martial? Im stuck with King and Wilson so it would be nice to save a transfer, buuuuuut its not nice to have an 8m player who doesnt play

        • Zed Leppelin says:

          Think I’d gamble on it a bit now, Bilva didn’t start GW1 or surely he starts GW2? Then after that you can remove him as well, although it’s not the easiest of fixtures against Spurs, but you can’t have it perfectly ideal all the time in FPL…

        • viktorsjolin says:

          Thats the problem, do I want him for Tham..

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